G-pinions

Man, now I have to go and defend myself cause of unnecessarily harsh Tom. I've owned a regular Game Boy and a Game Boy Color in my time, and I have nothing against the system. I'm sure the GBASP is great, and I know there are many great games out for it. But for one, I'm not out and about too much right now, and when I am and it's in an instance where playing would make sense, such as a train, I'm usually reading. And if I'm at home, I might as well play games on the TV. If anything, it makes more sense for me to get a GBA player. But lets say I was to go and get a GBASP right now (which I probably would, if I found one for $75 or less). If I wait eight months or so, I'll have two new portable systems to choose from. It would be like buying a PS1 eight months before the PS2 was coming out. Sure, it's a great system and there's lots of good games for it, but it just doesn't make sense, especially financially. In a perfect world I'd have all the systems around and have my pick of the litter when it came to games, but with a limited gaming budget I have to be more picky than I'd like. Even if someone wanted to buy a PS2 right now, I'd probably tell them to wait for a PS3, or at least until they dropped the price. And as far as blind love, Mr. "I have all the systems and consider myself a gamer and don't buy games too often yet I'll spend $30 on the new GBA Banjo-Kazooie game", it's no so much love as it is faith. Sony hasn't made a product I've been disappointed with yet, and I took the leap of faith with them and went online and have been very pleased with it. I think they're a very smart company, and they can't afford not to be considering most of their revenue comes from their videogame division. They've been working on a handheld for years, and recently alloted a good portion of their internal development teams to the PSP. If it fails, they fail, and they wouldn't let that happen. Yes, no new games have been shown, but many have been more or less announced, including all of their top franchises (such as a strongly rumored new Socom, which will find new opponents for you to play with an 802.11b wireless connection as you stroll the street or ride the train/horse/what have you). It's almost as powerful as PS2 on paper already, and they haven't even finalized the specs. Yes, that still doesn't mean it will be great, or take over the market, or anything really. But it does give me faith in it, and that's all I need to hold off on spending my money on a competing system at least until their unveil it. Same goes for the NintendoDS, for that matter. And that just seems like the sensible thing to do.

Man, I really need to play some Smash Brothers Melee now. It's still my favorite multiplayer game on the Cube, but Double Dash is coming on strong and there's always Crystal Chronicles...

There are two things that make Smash Bros. more fun than just about anything ever. First, Luigi has a great taunt move. Unlike the other characters and their not even mildly intimidating taunt (Link drinks milk for Christ's sake!) Luigi brings it.

His move starts out innocent enough. He looks forlornly at the ground, then sweeps it with his foot as if to say "I'm sorry..." One is liable to get all doey-eyed watching it the first time. "How sweet" you might think "He's sorry for kicking so much ass and now he's saying sorry like that evil boy said to Old Yeller before he pulled the trigger." Once you start thinking about Old Yeller, the trap is set. Your opponent, stupid as he is stinky, walks up to Luigi, thinking he has a free shot. Then *Biff* *Bam* *Kapowie* Luigi is kicking his ass.

How, you might ask? If you come too close to him while he's swiping his foot on the ground, that foot is likely to find it's way right to your groin or, if you're a lady, head. Sure, it's only 1% damage, but it's enough to teach a lesson you won't soon forget.

Also, calling three way truce before a match and teaming up on the sucker who chose Pikachu is a time honored tradition that really brings a tear to this tired, sometimes jaded eye.

As you might have read earlier, I am, in fact, having some friends over to play Crystal Chronicles on Friday. Lanyon of hating Mac fame will be there, as well as Andy, who loves Grand Theft Auto more than drinking beer and wearing dirty socks. The fourth is... no, not Nick. Nick doesn't own a Gameboy Advance. No, the fourth is local Nintendo nut Ryan something or other. He offered to bring both his SPs (yes, Nick, he owns two SPs) to replace Andy's sorry excuse for a regular Gameboy Advance.

So, while Nick is invited to attend, his lack of any portable device released this century will bar him from any extended playing time. Hopefully, this will learn him to get a GBASP of his own.

A quick impression: "Hi there, my name is Nick. I'm willing to wait 8 months for an unproven portable system, in a field no one has ever successfully competed in, and pay twice as much. That's right, I have so much blind love for Sony that I will forgo a purchase of an SP, though it's a great system with many great games already on the market, for something Sony hasn't even shown a picture of yet, let alone any real games."

So I guess there's gonna be a FF:CC throwdown at Tom's place on Friday. I'm looking forward to it. I found a deal (misprint, loophole, deal, it's all good) where I can get a new GBA and an E-Reader for about $40, which is a hell of a price. I almost took the plunge, but a couple of things stopped me; for one, I usually go for the top-of-the-line product if i'm making a decently big purchase (and if I can afford to), especially in the case of electronics. So when I know that a superior product exists in the same line, in this case in the form of the GBA:SP, i'm very hesitant to spend money. I feel like if i'm going to get a new console, I might as well go all out and get something that's not already obsolete. And I would have, months ago, if they hadn't announced the PSP. It seems like an amazing little machine, and pretty much every big developer around has already signed on to make games for it (I'll go into the details of why I like the idea of it so much some other time). So if it ends up being $200 or less there's a fairly good chance I'll buy one. It's pretty much a guaranteed success already. I mean, no one has seriously competed in the portable market with Nintendo since...ever, but then again no one had made a successfully competing console until Sony released the Playstation. And look at where we are now. I'm not saying the PSP will immediately take over the market, but unless the NintendoDS ends up being something amazing, the PSP will do just fine. So, I figure spending $40 or $100 now could be used towards a PSP or a game or something in ~eight months. And I have plenty to play in the meantime.

Meanwhile, I've been playing Super Smash Bros. Melee with Dan intensely for the last couple days. I got it about a month ago but hadn't touched it until a couple of days ago. It's pretty damn great. Four player is awesome and all, but that's to be expected (pretty much any game player with 4 people in the same room is great in my book). What has really surprised me though is the single-player game. It's much deeper and much more well-structured than I would have assumed, and actually gives an incentive to play when your friends aren't around (or forever sleeping) with approximately seven hundred billion things to unlock. Granted, most of it is useless trophies and shit, but a new character or level every couple hundred things is enough to keep me motivated (note: I guess this is kinda turning into a short quasi-review, but since we don't have a review section yet I'll jive with it anyhow). I do have a couple of problems with the game: analog controls just don't work well in fighting games (especially Nintendo's "you can press it all the way to the right or you can't press it at all - nothing in-between, fuckface!" ones), so to have them be the only mean of moving around is fairly annoying; i've gotten used to it, but it's still not as precise as I'd like it to be. Also, while there are plenty of items to pick up and things to collect and such, you never know what something does until you use it a bunch of times, and you never know what's next to unlock, or how to unlock it, without a faq of some sort. Considering the Mario series is fairly user-friendly, I was surprised at the lack of indication or instruction here. Anyhow, none of this really takes away from the game much, as you get used to it all eventually. Tom offered to give me his game save so I wouldn't have to unlock everything (I'm assuming he has most of it unlocked), but to me that's at least half the fun.

Oh, I almost forgot. Yes, FFVIII has it's fair share of Japanese cultural/anime influence, but it's done (I thought), in such natural, subtle ways most of the time that it feels much more mature than any other FF game up to this point as a result. Some parts are definitely still over-the-top and, to us, rediculous, but that's to be expected from a game born entirely of another cultures influences, especially one this prolific.

What ever happened to the new Altered Beast? I mean, it looked about as good as two donkeys having sex, but still, I want to know it's fate. Same goes for the new Vectorman.

Hey Tom, you gonna come see 50 First Dates with me this weekend? I'll let you touch my hand in the theatre..... ;-)

FF:CC = Fantastic. I'm not going to get into the whole "Damn Nintendo for making me take out a second mortgage on my house so I could buy a GBA to play Crystal chronicles" argument. All I'm going to say is it's worth it. Besides, you only -need- to own a GBA if you are playing multiplayer. My only qualm with the game (and many other square games), Is that you cant skip many of the more boring movies. Yep, you have to sit through the 5 minute opening every time you start a new game. But moving on...

FFVIII made baby jesus cry. It wasn't the graphics, it wasn't the game play- It was the fact that the game is a huge product of Japanese pop culture. The zig-zagging plot, illogical flashbacks, and predictable twists remind me of a great many "B" anime movies. X (and X-2) are guilty of the same crimes. Example: the opening of X-2 has one of the main characters from FFX singing a pop song on stage. Only the Japanese would create a great idol and leader of humanity (the great high summoner in this case) and have her sing pop songs with ridiculous lyrics about "true love" and "opening your heart" or whatever. Imagine George W. Bush singing a semi-techno song about "The heart of my spirit unlocks the door of love" (actual anime theme lyrics) in front of a screaming crowd of fan-boys. Yeah.

The DC Q3 played with the PC eh? I never knew that, but I would have to pity the guys using the DC. Not that the DC is a bad system, or even worse than a PC from it's day, but having played many 1'st person shooters on both PC and console I can tell you that a mouse and keyboard will always clean up in any FPS. Thus, when Halo was released on the PC they had to up the difficulty for the single-player game (by quite a bit too).

Anyway, time for more FF:CC.

Peace-

So I read two fairly different articles today. It's kind of ridiculous. Nintendo needs to not toy with people's emotions like this. I mean, think of the Toms! Will someone please think of the Toms! Seriously though, these guys need to oust Iwata before things get ugly (Sega, anyone?). If you can't open your damn eyes then make up your damn mind! No, you can't rest anymore on the laurels of your franchises anymore. A focus on gameplay is all well and good, but there's not going to be much gameplay left on the GC if third-party developers keep saying sayonara. "Our machine will be ready at the same time as the other new consoles, but we're not sold on developing powerful microprocessors to create graphics that cannot even be viewed on existing televisions," said Nintendo spokesman Yasuhiro Minagawa. What the fuck!?! They might not exist now, but they will when your system goes on sale you moron. And as quaint as the idea of selling big numbers just based on solid gameplay is, graphics matter if you're going to sell your games. So do your research, bed ATi again, and have lots of pretty babies. "Nintendo President Satoru Iwata has said on numerous occasions that the video game industry has started to alienate fans by developing games that are too complex and too heavily dependent on graphics." If by 'alienate', you mean 'sell more games than ever', then yes, yes it has. You fuck. And last time I looked, Metroid wasn't the simplest of games. Even Animal Crossing takes a serious fucking commitment if you wanna own more than a mailbox. And on the other hand..."According to the Nihon Keizai Shimbun, Nintendo management had decided to forgo development on the GameCube's successor to focus on peripherals that will enhance gameplay, including further interactivity with the Game Boy Advance and (presumably) the upcoming Nintendo DS." Because, y'know, peripherals always sell so well. YOU DOUCHES. The last peripheral of yours anyone gave two damns about was probably the super scope. Or that robot that did nothing. And further interactivity with the GBA would be nice, if they were free. Or at least if it was optional, unlike a certain chronicles involving crystals I know. Here's an idea: if you're not going to go online with more than one game, why don't you at least make it as hard as possible for people to play your 4-player games together? Oh wait, no. No, that's a terrible idea. Here's a real idea though: Why not lower the prices of your year-old games, such as Mario Party 4, to less than $40? Then maybe, just maybe, in-between saving up for link cables and nineteen GBAs people will buy your games (which are high-quality, for the most part). I'm mean, I respect Nintendo as much as the next guy (except Tom), and all that they've done for the industry, but if they're not going to start thinking business-wise, they should step aside and go start work on Mario Heroes for the PS3 and X-Box2. I love you, but sometimes you're not very smart. Sigh.

Btw, a couple more games you could/can play console vs. PC peeps that I know of are Quake3 on DC, and the upcoming FFXI.

And Tom, give FFVIII a good seven more hours before you make any rash decisions. I personally adore the art style and character/creature designs, but I suppose they're an acquired taste. And you shouldn't be expecting any manliness in a FF game - have you seen Tidus from X? Nevermind the new guy from XII. Talk about a dandy. The card game is also pretty sweet once you get the hang of it, and pretty much anyone that's a side character will play with you and cough up a nice rare card when you beat 'em. The plot also gets really kick ass the deeper you go, freaky alternate-reality-weirdness style. And turn on the texture smoothing if those graphics aren't sexy enough for you already (well, 1999 sexy).

"No cloud or squall will stop me!" - Zidane, Monkey-Boy, FFIX

Though it may not seem like it, I actually do play video games. A lot actually. I really, really wanted to play some Disgaea. I don't know anything about the game except it's supposed to be really cool and take forever to play. But mean ol' Nick won't let me borrow the game, so I had to turn to something else: Final Fantasy 8. A game, conveniently enough, given to me by Nick about 9 months ago. Yay for not returning games!

This is my first time actually playing it, though, and after about 3 hours I feel I should give some impressions. First off, what's the deal with the graphics? I know, it's PSX, they are supposed to be bad. But the art in this game, it's really ugly. All the characters are tall and have normal, small heads. That's not what I want in a video game. Whatever happened to good old Cloud with his giant head and spikey hair. That's the kind of character I can like. Not this lame ass "Tom." What's his deal anyway? Every Square game make the main character either be a mute (Chrono Trigger...) or an anti social killing machine. Why is this guy so grumpy all the time?

Also, what's the deal with that 5 minute dance scene? I sit down to enjoy a manly game of Final Fantasy, when all of a sudden my main character is ball room dancing. I like dancing as much as the next guy (as long as that guy doesn't like to dance) but a 5 minute scene? And my roommate had to come in right then and deliver some cruel jokes that I had no defense. Stupid Square.

The game is pretty fun, but nothing mind blowing. I'm not sure I like this battle system much. I have these Guardian Forces, just like in FF7, but now they take damage? What's the deal with that? Aren't they supposed to be super strong or something? Maybe even omnipotent? And why, if they are so strong, yet mortal, do they allow themselves to be carried by these weak ass humans? Wouldn't they just kick my ass and rule the world? I'm quite confused.

Also, they took away the normal magic system. Now I have to "draw" magic from every creature, which means all of the characters have the same magic attacks. No long do I designate one guy for curing and another for water related attacks (Blizzard... Lightning maybe?). Now all of them have every type of magic.

Let's see, what else is there to complain about... Oh yeah, the card game. I don't like it. Mostly because I'm no good at it.. I did win a mog earlier, looks like a cute cat, but that's about it. I lost most of my cool cards. I just want to attack diagonal one time, just to know what if feels like.

I guess that's about it. I am only 3 hours into the game. I'm about to meet that hot instructor by the training center. I wonder what's going to happen. Baw Chica Bawm Bawm.

Oh yeah, I forgot to yell at Nick. Hey man, what's with all the Gamespot plugs? You whoring out to the man already? I appreciate that it's not IGN, but give some love to those other sites, eh?

First I would like to address that PC's still have the edge in MMORPG's, because if you're playing one on a console, it means you have your console plugged into an internet connection that requires your damn PC to work (with the exception of the DC I guess). If you have a PC already, why play the PC game ports (which about half of the console MMORPGs are) on your crappy low-rez tv when you can be playing it in 1024X768 glory with EAX environmental sounds on the PC (which you already own) with a larger player base?

Moving on, I would also like to point out that even at it's peak, Westwood was still the retarded step child to the glory that was (is) Blizzard. Their peak was back when the first C&C came out, and lasted till Red Alert (the first one). I had the... Ahem... "Privilege" of being in the early phases of the closed beta of their MMORPG, Earth and Beyond. Let me tell you, I can smell a sinking ship when I'm on one.

On another note: NFS:U is pretty damn good. First game (that I know of) that lets people on a PC play against people on a console.

Correction: I guess you do need a PC (isp) for DC too.

I've just been informed of a life changing, time wasting, glorious, beautiful, delicious escape from life known as Warcraft 3. Yes, this is a Real Time Strategy game and, another yes, it is indeed located exclusively on the PC. Furthermore, this game, this addiction, is still being played, nay, devoured by many ravenous gamers around the world.

I concede defeat in this field. Words were said, by me, that were rather derogatory towards not only PC games as a whole but specifically the dead genre that is RTS games. Clearly, this genre is not dead, as at least one true fan has spoken out against my lies.

But, while this game is surely the RTS utopia the genre has strived to reach for years, it's already a couple years old and, guess what, still the top of the genre. And, with no foreseeable threat on the future, it may stay that way indefinitely.

So, I admit that, yes, there are still loyal fans of the genre, or more specifically the game, but the genre is still in its death throes. EA has killed Westwood, the only competitor Blizzard ever had. Blizzard has been deemed king, and no one will ever be able to take that away from them. So, while people still play WC3, still love it in fact, with the series now shifting to MMORPG with WoW, the nail in the RTS genre is about to be pounded securely in place.

So, before I get to my own post, I just wanted give my final thoughts on the previous topic (Mac vs. PC vs. Consoles). I agree with pretty much everything Tom said as to why console gaming is superior to PC gaming. I don't really think that consoles necessarily now have the best FPSs, they just have very different ones. While many would argue that nothing beats the mouse/keyboard combo for control, I just look at them as two very different approaches, not one being better than the other. Mouse aiming is fast and reflexive, but moving and aiming with analog sticks is much more visceral, which important in a lot of level design. Eh, anyhow...just wanted to also mention that there are many Macs under $1250, and good ones too, even iBooks. You're not going to get a G5, but you can still get a quality computer.

So, on to more important things. There are two games coming out that severely tickle my fancy based on what I've seen/read so far. Well, there are plenty more than two, but I only feel like talking about two right now, asshole. The first is Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy. The game was originally called ESPionage, which is only slightly less lame a title. You don't have to incorporate a stupid pun about the theme of the game into your title, just in case anyone thought otherwise. Anyhow, the game is published by Midway and comes out in June. Midway has had a somewhat shady track record since MK, but they seem to be getting back on track with stuff like this and the Suffering (both of which are coming to PS2 and X-Box and both of which has had the GC version canned). Psi-Ops is basically a typical third-person action/adventure game, but with the baddestass of all twists - you have several mind powers you can use to manipulate the environment and your enemies, and the way you approach pretty much every situation in the game seems to be affected by this. It's a simple idea, and 9 out of 10 times it would fail, but it looks like these guys pulled it off. Watch this video, and you'll see what i'm talking about. The idea of taking control of your enemies and making them kill themselves and their teammates is nothing new, but it seems more satisfyingly violent than usual. The whole "move shit with your mind" thing looks sweet too; if you can't watch the video for whatever reason, you can pickup a giant chunk of cement from ten feet away, fling it at your enemy, make a bridge out of it to cross a gap, or jump onto it and mind-move the whole shebang. Picking up your enemy with telekinesis and slamming them into walls seems like something I should have had the joy of doing a long time ago, I'm glad someone finally put it into action. You also get pyrokinesis (set shit on fire with your mind, for those of you who are idiots), and a couple other powers (instant oatmeal?). I assume there will be some sort of ESP meter so that you can't just go buck-wild with this stuff all the time (you do have a gun, after all), but as long as you get a decent amount to fuck around with i'll be thrilled. So, case in point, this game looks money and it better be as good as it looks, or someone at Midway is gonna get pyrokinisized. What a sweet power. I'd toast all my sandwiches, all the time.

The other game I want to talk about is Onimusha 3: Demon Siege. I played most of the first one, which rocked, and I can safely assume the second one rocked at least as hard (I just couldn't play as anyone else after playing as the King of Ass-Kicking, Samanosuke. Onimusha 3 looks to reach new levels of rock though, with Samonosuke back, Jeno Reno pretty much playing himself (with an energy whip, no less), a time-travel plot with present-day Paris and old-school Japan, and the best CG intro ever. Seriously, check it out. It's better than the Animatrix, FF:The Spirits Within, and Toy Story having an orgy. I guess Jean Reno is hugely popular in Japan (they must have loved Mission Impossible, or something), so they put his likeness in the game and had him do the voice and such. Him and Samonosuke switch places in time, and duel it out with demons a'plenty in each others cribs. The game is all 3D now too which allows for better camerawork and control, but still looks almost as good as the previous pre-rendered backgrounds. It just looks amazing. Go read up on it somewhere. This is an opinion site, not a preview site, dammit. Besides those...previews...I just....wrote. Dammit.

Well, that's all for now. There's nothing like listening to The Cure while writing about videogames at 7 in the morning. Except sleep, which has eluded me thus far. Shalom.

p.s. Tom, you're gonna have a field day with the Penny Arcade comic today.

Consoles are way cheaper than PCs.

I have 8 systems:
Genesis = $50
SNES = $200
Dreamcast = $200
Nintendo 64 = $200
Gamecube = $200
PS2 = $100
Xbox = $200
GBA SP = $100

That's only $1250 combined for all my systems, plus I can play NES games on my Dreamcast through the wonderful Nester DC, PSX games on my PS2 and Gameboy games on my GBA SP.

You wouldn't even be able to play Half Life 2 on a $1250 PC, and there isn't a Mac in existence that's that cheap.

That's right, they can both go to hell... at least as far as gaming is concerned. If you want to play games, get a console or a Gameboy, that's it, no other options.

First, the argument for PCs. They are certain genres (specifically three) that just work better, for whatever reason, on a PC. First Person Shooters were born on PCs, they inherintly control beter with a keyboard and mouse, plus you can go online and fight your friends via the PC. Real Time Strategy Games are also better because of the precise controls the mouse offers you. Last, Massive Multiplayer Online RPGs are better because you can go online with ease.

Ok, the MMORPG argument is now dead. You can go online quite easily with the PS2 and Xbox. There is a headsite for both of them, and it is standard for Xbox Live. And, for communicating on the PS2, just plug in your USB Keyboard, everyone has them anyway. So now you have two games that can do the same thing, except one allows you to play on a large TV while sitting on a couch. And don't even mention upgrades because we all know the Xbox has a hard drive.

RTS games are still better on the PC because of mouse support but, guess what, it's a dead genre. Yeah yeah, I know you stilll play Warcraft 2, but that game came out 5 years ago. When was the last relevant RTS game release? The genre got old fast because it is so limited. So, while the PC version of Starcraft is still light years beyond the N64 version, no one outside Korea is even playing these games anymore.

Last is FPS. This is a debate that could rage forever. I personally don't understand the appeal of FPSs on the. Sure, you can play online with any of them, but so what? Anyone who has played Goldeneye or Timesplitters 4 player will tell you multiplayer gaming with friends is way more fun than playing a bunch of 12 year old kids who call "Fag" and claim they slept with your skanky mom. And most FPSs are available for the Xbox and PS2 and go online anyway. So while you might have slightly better control with keyboard and mouse, and this is also debatable, the console games are supperior, vastly so, in every other way.

Aside from those 3 genres, everything else, from racing to fighting and platforming, are clearly better for the console. And don't forget the console market has something the PC cannot even hope to compete with: the Gameboy. The number of "big" releases for the PC are going down every year. This year there is Doom 3 and Half Life 2. Next year there might only be one big release.

As a proud Mac owner/supporter to the very end, I feel an innate need to defend my machine and it's kind. To me, the Apple Store is heaven. Shelf after shelf and table after table of ease and elegance, ergonomics and efficiency. The computers speak for themselves visually and in their operation, and aren't in need of decorative walls to take your mind off of an inferior product. Yes, they will run you a bit more, but you're getting what you pay for and then some. If you work in business, you'll use a PC, if you work in the arts, you'll use a Mac. This says it all for me. If you've grown up with a PC, of course it's hard to change, and pricey. But the difference is, people I know don't know how to use their PCs. Even self-professed computer nerds who can do the most complicated of tasks with their computers have trouble with the simplest organizational tasks on those same machines, nevermind locate the source of a problem or install a print driver. The elegance of use for me is a pleasure every day. iTunes, iPhoto, iMovie, my iPod - four of the most intuitive pieces of software/hardware I have ever used. My computer is set up to work for me, not for Apple. Yes, if you're in the market for gaming and prefer computer gaming over consoles (which is an altogether separate argument...Tom?), games will usually come out sooner for the PC (even though that time is getting smaller and smaller with every big release). But all the best games still come out for the Mac, usually upgraded (somewhat similar to the PS2 to X-box porting). There were even some fairly great Mac exclusive games until Micro$oft bought Bungie (Halo was supposed to be a Mac game, which I assume you all knew), and the Mac is where computer gaming started. But anyhow, if you have the cash and are only going to be mainly gaming on it, by all means buy a PC. Or, buy all three major consoles and 4 new games for each for the same price. Or better yet, buy a Mac.

Oh, and I played some 3-player Mario Kart:DD tonight. Still great. It's so easy to fall into, whether you're new or a veteran. Within one race I was back to winning form, and my co-racers were fighting to the death for second, despite pretty much being newbies. Being able to blue-flame it up in a straight line when you get those turns down is such a thrill. I also played some Super Smash Bros. Melee for the first time, despite owning it for about a month. Also good so far, if not overly chaotic.