G-pinions

Irony of all ironies. Well, I suppose it's not really irony, but I'm not sure what else to call it. I'll just come right out and say it: We Love Katamari is being published by EA in Europe. Now, theoretically there are upsides to this; it might not have made it there at all otherwise, and they are a name that can push games, if they want to. However, remember Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath? We all thought that they were being good samaritans when they picked it up where Microsoft dropped it off, but when they couldn't make it multiplatform they pretty much just threw it out there without telling anyone. Now, I'm not sure how EA runs things in Europe, but I know they're not making W<3K multiplatform. Maybe they're just anticipating a high enough demand without it, similar to Half-Life 2 here.

Alright, I take it back, it is ironic and I can't ignore it. The one game that stands for uniqueness, for gameplay over graphics, for everything important and right in the gaming world and the epitome of creativity, released by the most corporate, monopolizing, market-researched company imaginable. They've published some great games whose development they had nothing to do with (Burnout, Timesplitters, Freedom Fighters), and this will be a nice addition to that list, but it can't just be ignored. I'm not even sure how to feel really, I'm too caught up in the sheer ridiculousness of it all. Maybe you have some thoughts.

So I read in the new OXM that the 360 will have controller profiles, so that you won't have to invert your controls every time you play a new game. I don't know about you guys, but that is a serious selling point for me. It's too bad they're spending their marketing efforts making faceplates seem interesting; there are plenty of very useful new features (like wireless system link) being ignored. Oh well.

I'm not sure what currently is in possession of Nick's body, but whatever is living inside of him is desperately trying to collect every single video game ever made. While the vast majority of the silicon will sit unplayed on his shelves for years, collecting dust while it emits clouds of undetectable Ebola particles (just a theory I've been working on), Nick and I fired up two fairly random games on my last two visits to his new abode, and I couldn't be more pleased with the results.

First up, we played through almost the entirety of Cookies and Cream. A lone gamer in the dead of night showed up a stones throw before I arrived to complete the first world in the game, but the other eight or so worlds were taken out by the unbeatable team of Nick "Cookies" Suttner and Tom "Cream" Mc Shea. If anyone ever calls me "Cream" in real life you can be sure that's the last overtly sexual nickname that spews forth from your mouth.

Anyway, I had only a vague idea of what Cookies and Cream was before we started playing. I knew it was some sort of two player cooperative game where one player traversed the left side of the playing field while a second player tackled the right side. Apparently, I knew exactly what to expect. I just didn't realize how fun it would be. This is the case, point and verdict that cooperative games are always better than single player experiences. Nick and I haven't even won Wind Waker yet (Nick hasn't even played it!) and yet we found time to play through every second, including the hidden world, of this overlooked gem.



The beauty comes from the need to team up to pass obstacles. Though it may sound annoying to the untrained ears to imagine a game where, every minute or so, one helpless gamer pleads "I need help!" it is actually quite enjoyable. While the tasks are sometimes ridiculously simple, such as merely turning a crank to raise a platform, other obstacles are much more entertaining. One of the last levels had one player swing a bat while another person stood on top of a baseball. Another fantastic obstacle had one player trying to cross a seemingly uncrossable river. The other player jumps on one of four platforms each bearing a different shape. The second player has to raise the correct platforms for the first player to jump across. Simply a joy to play.

Of course, there were some murderous puzzles as well. One of which the great Amadeus Mozart himself would have struggled with. The first player controlled three notes on a keyboard while the second player (me) took the last four notes. Then you had to play a game of name that tune, repeating three notes in succession. With the pitch differing little between the seven notes we controlled, this was one of the most annoying and difficult puzzles ever. Barriers like this were few and far between, however, and most of the game was super awesome candy. Now where's my sequel?

The game Nick and I discovered yesterday is hardly an undiscovered classic like C&C, it's just a game we had no idea could possibly be as good as advertised. Meet Tetris Attack, a classic puzzle game that joins the likes of Tetris and Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo in the hallowed halls of puzzle greatness. Man, this game is just fantastic. Nick and I both joked it was in our top 10 games of all time... but that might actually be true. After only playing three or so hours of it last night, it's already surpassed Tetris in heart-pounding competition and is right alongside Puzzle Fighter in fantastic two player joy. This game is just amazing.



Though it has Tetris in the title this bears little resemblance to the Best Game Ever. Instead of blocks falling one at a time from above, a row of blocks slowly rises from the bottom of the screen at all times. There are six blocks of different colors that make up a row and it's your job to link together three or more of the same color. Your cursor has two spots which cover two blocks at once. When you hit a button you make the blocks switch places. It's as simple as that. Once you get going, though, the game is anything but simple. By stringing together combos or getting rid of a bunch of blocks at once (you can vanish up to ten at once time if you're good enough) you can rain down hell upon your hapless opponent. Punishment takes the form of Thwomp blocks in this game. Nick and I would gleefully yell "Cap that shit!" when one would find it's way on our opponent's playing field.

And that is when the game gets intense. Trust me, when you start playing you won't be able to think about anything else or even speak. The game requires your full concentration at all times and if you even take one second to see what your opponent is doing you could end up losing. And, unlike Puzzle Fighter, this game is all about skill. No novice will ever beat a pro in this game. It is simply not possible. Every mistake you make is your own and if you lose it's the fault of your own inadequacies. This is easily one of the best games I have ever played. Now I'm itching to get my hands on Meteos for the DS and teach Nick Tetrisphere for the N64. Nothing quite like a good block puzzle game to get your blood pressure to skyrocket, eh?

Oh, and if you're wondering how I did against my colleague after talking all that junk about skill and whatnot... he destroyed me 12 matches to 0 after we got the hang of what we were doing. I will beat him yet, though!