G-pinions

We are less than ten hours away from the American launch of the PlayStation 3. Just ten more hours until the successor to the greatest system of all time finally hits our Democratic shores. Are you excited? Can you feel the collective nervous energy of uber-geeks from coast to coast slowly building? Have you seen the lines forming outside your local Best Buy yet? It's coming. The PlayStation 3 is just a few hours away. And you know what? I couldn't care less.

Here is the sad truth about Sony - they don't have a single killer franchise. Nintendo has their nostalgic collection of genre creators we've all been playing for the past twenty years. Mario and Zelda carry a weight that other games would never even attempt to shoulder. And Microsoft has the grand daddy of them all. Is there a bigger franchise in the world today than Halo? Just by mouthing those beautiful two syllables, Bungie can distract millions of gamers from the upcoming console launches. What does Sony have to counter Zelda and Halo? Absolutely nothing. Metal Gear Solid and Final Fantasy are huge, but those appear on every system. Do you realize that three Final Fantasy titles have been released in the past month? It's hard to make people drool when a new entry in the series is coming out every other week. And Metal Gear Solid, which always pushes the PlayStation further than people thought possible, has been known to whore itself from time to time. The first two entries in the reestablished series made their way to competing systems. The most recent game, Snake Eater, was remade for the PS2 just a year after it first came out. These are great games, but they are never there at launch. More importantly, people who are allergic to football will tune into Monday Night Football on December 4th to see that Halo 3 commercial. Do you think Metal Gear Solid 4 will have that kind of pull?

Sony has been the king for the last two console generations because they have released about a million games in the last decade. Rarely is the PlayStation home to the unquestioned best game of the year. But it does have ten times as many games out for it. It does have a lot of really good titles. Sony has been able to win the last two generations by supplying good games in every genre. System launches never have a surplus of games available. And that is why PlaySation launches are always so lame. The PS3 is coming with only four original titles. Resistance looks like great fun, but everything else will be completely forgettable. Genji is an average action game. Untold Legends is a multiplayer version of Ninety Nine Nights. There's an exclusive NBA game coming out that no one in his right mind would buy a system to play. And then there's the pseudo-exclusive, Ridge Racer 7, which is a remade version of last year's X360 launch title, Ridge Racer 6. That's the launch. Everything else can be found on the X360. Why are people lining up to buy this system again?

I really believe that Sony should have delayed the system until next March in America. They are simply not ready to release a system this year. They are launching the system with one really good game in Resistance, and a bunch of forgettable games that people will immediately regret plopping down $60 to play. This is not a good way to please your hardcore fans. I wish they had held it back a few more months. By all accounts, Resistance is fun. But what if Insomniac had six more months to tinker with it? It could have been a classic. Sony has never had a premier First Person Shooter on their system. With a little more time, Resistance may have been able to compete with Halo. Now it pales in comparison to Gears of War. If Sony just held back the system launch a few months, they could have released an online version of Motorstorm as well. It's hard to be excited by a racing game, but a great FPS and a great looking racing game would go a long way to persuading casual gamers that the PS3 is the next generation system to own. With more time in development, Genji could have filled an important need until Devil May Cry 4 comes out. They could have gotten Forgotten Realms out here for a system that dearly needs an in-depth adventure game. Most importantly, they could have had Oblivion at launch. Guess what else Sony could have developed between now and next March? Enough systems to meet demand. Not only could they have provided top-notch software, they could have had enough systems for people to experience these games.

Sony is trying to stake a claim in the next generation market this year. They feel that it is important to remind gamers that Sony is still around. But I don't see the need to rush. Microsoft claimed they would have ten millions systems in the homes of gamers before the PS3 saw the light of day. They are four million behind that projection. Sony is risking their reputation to sell four hundred thousand consoles this year. Doesn't seem like a worthwhile risk to me.

While the Xbox 360 has not been flying off store shelves, it has been doing quite well. And the Wii could very well dominate if it can capture the heart of casual gamers. Sony has to go head to head with two competitors who are offering products light years beyond Sony's own. People will not be able to find a PS3 this year. People who are forced to leave the store empty-handed will probably try to play the PS3 some other way. Maybe they will play a kiosk. If they are really lucky, they will know someone who was fortunate enough to get a PS3 at launch. They will play these average games and think Sony has lost it. There are great games on the X360 already. And the Wii has Zelda. What is going to keep these people from buying another system? The X360 and Wii will be more plentiful than the PS3 for quite awhile. Their games are much better. Sony shot themselves in the foot by letting their incomplete games speak for their $600 system.

Want to hear something really scary? When Sony finally has enough quality software and systems out there, Microsoft will counter with Halo 3. I hope the PlayStation 3 has the seemingly limitless amount of quality games the PS2 had, but this looks like an uphill battle for Sony.

There are times in life when a single piece of news can make your heart skip a beat, and briefly reconsider your place in the universe. "M'am, your baby is on fire". "That hurricane is certainly large, and close." "Excuse me, did you drop this solid gold revolver?" You know, those. When I read today that there will be a public beta of multiplayer Halo 3 and new Halo 2 multiplayer maps in the Spring, as well as a 60-second once-off CG trailer for the game on national television the day after my birthday, well, my esophagus, aorta and rectum all kind of spasmed at the same time in a gesture that would be neither possible or socially appropriate to replicate.

I said a few weeks ago that the Halo 3 news/screens leakage didn't excite me, as the enjoyment and brilliance of the game isn't in the details but in how the experience comes together once you make it a part of your life. That still stands. But now that I know I will actually be participating in Halo 3 within six months? Well, see the above paragraph and gauge my reaction for yourself.

From an industry perspective, I would say it's a brilliant move (not that Bungie has been known for any other types of movement). Releasing new Halo 2 maps is pure microtransaction profit, will sell untold swaths of 360s just when PS3s are more plentiful and Wiis see their first price drop (they will drop Wii Sports and the price to $200 in late Spring, you'll see), naturally starts it's own Halo 3 hype train without any other marketing, and gives people like myself one more reason to hold off on any other large hardware or game purchases.

Outside of the disgustingly immature, verbally offensive fanbase, Halo 2 multiplayer is a sublimely entertaining experience. With new content and the ol' Halo crowd of buddies to play alongside with, is there any reason why I wouldn't go back to the game? Gears of War multiplayer is (intentionally) crippled by Microsoft, no one else I know will own a PS3 even if I do pick one up to play Resistance online, and Super Smash Brothers Brawl won't be out until next holiday season. Is there any other online experience that's even remotely as compelling?

Well, there is one: Halo 3. Which I imagine they will roll out a month or two after the new maps. I would guess that we'll see a few different iterations of the beta based on progress and feedback over the course of the late Spring and summer, then see it shut down so we have time to while away our pennies to buy MASTER CHIEF'S HEAD at the end of the year. It's too perfect. I didn't give much of a damn about anything that came out within a year of Halo 2, and outside of Bioshock and Burnout 5 I could quite easily wait on anything else next year.

Halo 2 ultimately shattered all hype and expectation, and I have an immense grin on my face just thinking about how commandingly Halo 3 will do the same. Yay!

I spent an hour last night trying to lure a Doenut into my garden. My garden was already teeming with life, but a Doenut would stop by every day and taunt me with its majestic presence. I loved my Raisants - Peanut and Butter gave birth to a happy and healthy little ant named Jelly - but they paled in comparison to this incredible beast. The Doenut would arrive outside my garden every day in the afternoon. Every day, for four or five in-game hours, it would roam around the perimeter of my land. It would look in every so often but never step foot inside. This was simply maddening. I wanted a Doenut of my own. I had a name picked out and everything. I was willing to make some sacrifices.

I went into my encyclopedia to see how I could attract a Doenut. It seemed pretty easy actually. I needed a least 10 Blackberries and a decent sized plot of Long Grass. Well, I already had five Blackberry bushes growing near my Sparrowmint's home. You could say I was inundated with Blackberries at this point. I was force-feeding them to Whirlms just to clear my garden floor. The Long Grass was a little bit tricky, though. First of all, it cost almost 1500 Chocolate Coins. I was stuck somewhere in the triple digits. I would need to make some money as quickly as possible. And so went some of my favorite animals.

I surveyed the land seeing who I could sell. My Bunnycombs were far too cute to sacrifice and I had grown quite attached to my Raisants. But those Syrupents always seemed like they were up to no good. They had already eaten a family of Lickatoads, what would they do to my pure, sweet Doenut? They had to go. It took me awhile to hunt them down. Apparently, they had been breeding without my consent. My family of three had doubled in size. The Syrupents had taken over my garden without my knowledge. I finally wrangled them all up and sold them to a black market Pinata dealer. I didn't know what their fate was going to be but I couldn't worry about it. I had a Doenut to catch.

I had enough money to buy some Long Grass finally. I cleaned up the north side of my garden, a section roughly one third of my entire land. The north side is separated from the south by a winding river right in the middle of my land. I cleared the land, selling some Taffies along with their house, so I could plant enough Long Grass to attract that blasted Doenut. It was hard work, took me almost twenty minutes to get my garden looking Doenut-worthy, but it was worth the effort. During the late afternoon the next day a Doenut finally stepped into my garden. Believe me, it was a tense moment. He strolled around the place, investigating what sorts of animals were currently living there while checking out my plentiful foliage. He admired my Apple tree for a while, probably noting how it casts a comforting shadow upon the Long Grass during the hot days.

Finally, he happened upon the Blackberry bushes. And what a sight! He hopped around in unbridled enthusiasm and then let out a magnificent bellow. Doenuts sure love their Blackberries. He quickly ate two and then, to my horror, walked away from the bush. What is he doing? He needs to eat six of those things before he'll stay! So I picked up a Blackberry and started to follow. He walked to the river and took a drink. Maybe he just needed something to wash down the Blackberry juice. Doenuts do have long necks. I should have put a glass of milk next to the bushes. How inconsiderate of me. I dropped the Blackberry I was holding right at his feet. He looked around, shocked that such good fortune should come to such a humble beast, and scarfed it up. He was halfway to being my most beloved pet.

And then he left.

He walked right out of my garden, belly brimming with my Blackberries, and disappeared in the surrounding foliage. Oh my, you cannot believe how upset I was. I had spent all that time razing buildings and selling my young to make him happy, and then he just eats his fill and leaves? This Doenut had some nerve.

If he didn't want to stay at my garden I wasn't going to beg. I went back to tending my own Pinatas. One of my Bunnycombs had become sick during the visit. A Crowla probably attacked him while I was trying to shove Blackberries down that ungrateful Doenut's throat. What a bad owner I was. I called Doctor Patchington over to fix up my poor pet and went around making sure everyone else was happy. I felt guilty after ignoring my Pinatas all day so I bought every one of them some Happy Candy from the Costalots. I spent the rest of the day trying to lure Buzzlegums into the garden so I could get my Lickatoads to do the Romance Dance.

The next day, while I was trying to get my Raisants to mate so I could get an Arocknid into my garden, a message popped up on the bottom of the screen. A Doenut had become a resident of Gigglepoo's Garden. My garden! I ran over to find the Doenut. He finally shed his black and white fur. He was pink and blue and awesome. I named him Camus.

An hour later, after growing Sunflowers and Tulips, as well as building a beautiful Doenut house in the shade of the Apple tree, I had five Doenuts running around my tiny garden. Now I'm wondering if I can attract a Lion Pinata. Something has to eat Doenuts, right?

Let's just all take a deep breath. It's only a matter of days until the PlayStation 3 and Wii finally come out. We only have to coax a few more days out of our crusty, though beloved, last generation systems before we toss them in the back of our closet forever. Just breathe deeply because, for better or worse, gaming is about to change forever. Will this hobby finally trickle down to people who have never played a game before? Or will the three richest kings of Europe be the only people with enough money to enjoy it? I'm getting a little ahead of myself, though. The new systems aren't coming out until the very end of the week. You'll hear no more next generation chatter from me until these games are mere hours from release. I'll rundown the launch titles for both systems later in the week. Until then, load up on another solid week of portable gaming.

Final Fantasy 3 - You know how impatient I am. The Wii controller was only officially shown 14 months ago. That isn't very long at all. I've spent most of the past year holding my breath and I'm still not blue. But for fans of Final Fantasy, well, they would have long since died from lack of oxygen waiting for FF3 to come out. Luckily, most FF fans are Hindu. People who held their breath waiting for someone to port this game to America have reached maturity in their new life. Perfect timing to celebrate the resurrection of this forgotten entry in one of the most powerful franchises around. For reasons I have never seen explained, this is the first time FF3 will ever be released in America. Either this game is simply unplayable or Square just confused themselves with that ill-advised counting system. No, this is not a remake of the Final Fantasy 3 you played on your SNES. This is a remake of the actual third adventure in the series, built from the ground up to take advantage of the fancy 3D graphics and dual screen gaming we take for granted nowadays. Apparently, the old school gameplay is still intact. You will die and you will curse because this game is essentially an NES title. I guess this game is for completionists who need to check every Final Fantasy off their list. Playing through Final Fantasy 1 and 2 was more than enough old school, Japanese Role Playing for me.

Yoshi's Island DS - I have never finished the original Yoshi's Island. I haven't even come close. I like the game, don't get me wrong, but I was never able to get into it. Every time I would fire it up, my eyes would drift down to Super Mario World and I would immediately lose interest in the affairs of Baby Mario. It may not have been fair, but I stand by my avoidance of this game. Super Mario World was just too fun for its own good. But the Nintendo DS doesn't have that perfect platformer casting a giant shadow upon the world. Super Mario Bros. DS is the best traditional platformer on the system and, to be frank, it's forgettable. Can Yoshi DS lead the NDS into a new golden age for platfromers? I don't think so, but it should be fun.