Friday, February 10, 2006
Hands-on PS3 (not ours)
So, Kikizo has an apparent world-exclusive hands-on with the PS3. It's nothing that someone who didn't play the system couldn't have easily bullshitted, but it's still an interesting, if overtly obvious read. Long story short, it's not the mind-altering experience some trailers have led us to believe, but it's still impressive stuff. I think the best-looking stuff will come from the first/second parties anyhow, whom I don't think they were privy to, but some of the basic game world descriptions still got me a bit geeked. I do like the idea that with some standardized development tools more emphasis is placed on the artist - I think that will become key to fully appreciating and realizing the "power" of the next gen. I would take it all with the largest grain of salt you can find, but it's still fun to get excited about.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Chibi Robo - The Diary
Nick and I have been waiting for this day for quite some time. For those who are unaware, today marks the release of the first game in the Gamecube's fabled Final Three. It's an odd trifecta featuring a house cleaning adventure game, a pinball strategy title and the latest Zelda. How did it turn out? I tried my best to rip off Bill Simmons by keeping a running diary of the event, but two things held me back: first of all, Nick doesn't have a wireless keyboard so it was difficult to both watch the game being played and type at the same time. Also Nick wasn't into the idea at all, so it was up to me. Finally the game is kind of boring so I only kept a diary for the first 20 minutes. At least I didn't ruin all the secrets for those who still want to play it, right? Anyway, on to my thoughts as they popped into my head.
Nick and I are trying an experiment where we have a running diary while we play out a new game. So, you get to live the experience of Chibi Robo with us!
Ok, so the game starts out with a horrible cut scene. I thought at first they were speaking Japanese and it just wasn't translated, but I think this is just gibberish. The dog just barked and made a sound like "Hamuru!" That just isn't right. Oh and there's some sort of frog hat on this little girl. I think the Japanese hate us. Nick thinks the language is not as enjoyable as Animalese (that Charlie Brown's parents crap in Animal Crossing), I think it's only slightly better than testicle surgery.
Apparently "Shink" means "RoooBoooo" This could be a long day.
Finally, Chibi is on screen. Nick "Great introduction." I'm not nearly as excited. He emerges from this crock pot thing like an alien. I mean, it could be kind of cool... but I would have rather watched a female robot give birth to it.
Apparently you drag a little cord behind you at all times. Kind of cute actually. He can pick it up over his head too for God knows what reason. It's like picking up our foot or something. I've never been a big fan of watching things carry their own body parts. Disturbing.
Nick just zoomed in on the wife's rectangular boobies. Where's Team Ninja when you need them?
You know, I wish we had a Chibi Robo. Couldn't the developers have spent their time making a real tiny robot for me, to clean up my mess, instead of making an average game on a dying system? Would anyone have been against this?
Your first task as robo slave is to give a flower to the slow child with a frog hat. I don't think real slavery was quite so cute. I wonder if he gets lynched if he brings the wrong flower.
Sure sign this is a Nintendo game: We just got 20 Happy Points.
The game looks so entertaining, Nick and I have started to debate if the flower delivery counts as a real turn or not. I lost so I'm still writing this god forsaken diary.
(I took quite a shift here, didn't I? I don't really remember being particularly entertained at any point. I think this was my desperate plea to stop writing this diary before I made another slave joke.)
With those Happy Points our ranking of all the Chibi Robos has gone from 1 million to 775,727. What did the robots we passed do wrong? We passed 224,263 robots by delivering a flower? Man, we have some incompetent competition.
"He had a little too much fun at the party, I think he passed out from excitement." Nintendo doesn't want their gamers to know about sex or alcohol apparently. There's a terrifying dog/worm on screen. That's right, we don't know if it's a dog or a worm. I can't wait for next gen to finally arrive.
Ugh... who would have thought a robot cleaning sim would have so much story? I just want to start cleaning damnit!
If you're wondering how slow this game starts, Nick just picked up some garbage and exclaimed "Ooo! Waste paper!"
We just picked up a toothbrush. Now we can clean more stains! I can't believe we're playing this. Can't we just clean Katamari style?
First I mistook Chibi's house for a crock pot and now I thought it was the garbage. Robots may not actually be alive, but Chibi definitely has a sad life.
"I should have married you instead of that slob" The wife, in a moment of weakness, confides to Chibi. I don't want to say this blocky chested woman is easy, but all Chibi did was throw an old cookie into the fish tank.
And that's it for the diary.
After that less than glowing take the game went seriously downhill. The "joy" we found in collecting pieces of trash in the beginning soon vanished as we realized just how boring it truly was. And the story! What I wouldn't give for a story-less version of this game. The cut scenes are static and long. Text flows slowly across the screen - sometimes funny but normally anything but - while the piercing cry of the creature burns nearby ear drums. Just a horrible experience all around. I don't know why they thought it was a good idea to force dialogs only to have the experience punish the player for having their hearing firmly intact.
While Nick and I only played about three hours I can say with all certainty that this is a bust. Not a horrible game, but certainly not one worth playing. For comparison, the main adventure mode of Graffiti Kingdom was infinitely better than this. I put in more than 20 hours simply collecting all the animals and playing around with my hand drawn picture. Chibi offers worse gameplay and nothing that really separates it from the pack. Yes, the setting is different than anything else out there, but the gameplay is stale and tired.
To top it off, just when we were wrapping up the game for the night, Nick spent all our hard earned cash on a car. We figured we would, you know, actually be able to drive it around. Maybe you can later in the game, but we weren't able to at that point. A disappointing way to end an underachieving experience.
I still want Chibi to appear in Smash Bros. Revolution, if only to finally kick his ass.
One more thing before I let you go - the game starts out with a five minute time limit. This is a horrible idea. Just when you figure out where to go next the time of day shifts (between day and night) and you're forced back to your Chibi home. Eventually I figured out you can purchase more time that bumps a session up to 15 minutes. Still annoying but not quite as much. It was like playing the original Pikmin again, minus the fun.
You know, after reading through this diary again, I actually like it. If people like it I may give it a shot again.
Nick and I are trying an experiment where we have a running diary while we play out a new game. So, you get to live the experience of Chibi Robo with us!
Ok, so the game starts out with a horrible cut scene. I thought at first they were speaking Japanese and it just wasn't translated, but I think this is just gibberish. The dog just barked and made a sound like "Hamuru!" That just isn't right. Oh and there's some sort of frog hat on this little girl. I think the Japanese hate us. Nick thinks the language is not as enjoyable as Animalese (that Charlie Brown's parents crap in Animal Crossing), I think it's only slightly better than testicle surgery.
Apparently "Shink" means "RoooBoooo" This could be a long day.
Finally, Chibi is on screen. Nick "Great introduction." I'm not nearly as excited. He emerges from this crock pot thing like an alien. I mean, it could be kind of cool... but I would have rather watched a female robot give birth to it.
Apparently you drag a little cord behind you at all times. Kind of cute actually. He can pick it up over his head too for God knows what reason. It's like picking up our foot or something. I've never been a big fan of watching things carry their own body parts. Disturbing.
Nick just zoomed in on the wife's rectangular boobies. Where's Team Ninja when you need them?
You know, I wish we had a Chibi Robo. Couldn't the developers have spent their time making a real tiny robot for me, to clean up my mess, instead of making an average game on a dying system? Would anyone have been against this?
Your first task as robo slave is to give a flower to the slow child with a frog hat. I don't think real slavery was quite so cute. I wonder if he gets lynched if he brings the wrong flower.
Sure sign this is a Nintendo game: We just got 20 Happy Points.
The game looks so entertaining, Nick and I have started to debate if the flower delivery counts as a real turn or not. I lost so I'm still writing this god forsaken diary.
(I took quite a shift here, didn't I? I don't really remember being particularly entertained at any point. I think this was my desperate plea to stop writing this diary before I made another slave joke.)
With those Happy Points our ranking of all the Chibi Robos has gone from 1 million to 775,727. What did the robots we passed do wrong? We passed 224,263 robots by delivering a flower? Man, we have some incompetent competition.
"He had a little too much fun at the party, I think he passed out from excitement." Nintendo doesn't want their gamers to know about sex or alcohol apparently. There's a terrifying dog/worm on screen. That's right, we don't know if it's a dog or a worm. I can't wait for next gen to finally arrive.
Ugh... who would have thought a robot cleaning sim would have so much story? I just want to start cleaning damnit!
If you're wondering how slow this game starts, Nick just picked up some garbage and exclaimed "Ooo! Waste paper!"
We just picked up a toothbrush. Now we can clean more stains! I can't believe we're playing this. Can't we just clean Katamari style?
First I mistook Chibi's house for a crock pot and now I thought it was the garbage. Robots may not actually be alive, but Chibi definitely has a sad life.
"I should have married you instead of that slob" The wife, in a moment of weakness, confides to Chibi. I don't want to say this blocky chested woman is easy, but all Chibi did was throw an old cookie into the fish tank.
And that's it for the diary.
After that less than glowing take the game went seriously downhill. The "joy" we found in collecting pieces of trash in the beginning soon vanished as we realized just how boring it truly was. And the story! What I wouldn't give for a story-less version of this game. The cut scenes are static and long. Text flows slowly across the screen - sometimes funny but normally anything but - while the piercing cry of the creature burns nearby ear drums. Just a horrible experience all around. I don't know why they thought it was a good idea to force dialogs only to have the experience punish the player for having their hearing firmly intact.
While Nick and I only played about three hours I can say with all certainty that this is a bust. Not a horrible game, but certainly not one worth playing. For comparison, the main adventure mode of Graffiti Kingdom was infinitely better than this. I put in more than 20 hours simply collecting all the animals and playing around with my hand drawn picture. Chibi offers worse gameplay and nothing that really separates it from the pack. Yes, the setting is different than anything else out there, but the gameplay is stale and tired.
To top it off, just when we were wrapping up the game for the night, Nick spent all our hard earned cash on a car. We figured we would, you know, actually be able to drive it around. Maybe you can later in the game, but we weren't able to at that point. A disappointing way to end an underachieving experience.
I still want Chibi to appear in Smash Bros. Revolution, if only to finally kick his ass.
One more thing before I let you go - the game starts out with a five minute time limit. This is a horrible idea. Just when you figure out where to go next the time of day shifts (between day and night) and you're forced back to your Chibi home. Eventually I figured out you can purchase more time that bumps a session up to 15 minutes. Still annoying but not quite as much. It was like playing the original Pikmin again, minus the fun.
You know, after reading through this diary again, I actually like it. If people like it I may give it a shot again.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Rawr, GRAW
I know that I just wrote about it, but jeez, can this game look any more spectacular?
The series didn't really interest me much in the past, but it looks like they're just doing everything right with this installment. And while I might eat these words in a month, the multiplayer looks like the best thing since Halo. There, I said it. I played a good couple seasons of Socom II in it's time, and this appeals to me in many of the same regards - emphasis on teamwork, strategy and surveillance, and great maps and modes to keep it fresh. And as you can see, it looks stunning. Please, watch this multiplayer interview as well. I'm obviously psyched at this point - March is looking like the best month for gaming since last January.
The series didn't really interest me much in the past, but it looks like they're just doing everything right with this installment. And while I might eat these words in a month, the multiplayer looks like the best thing since Halo. There, I said it. I played a good couple seasons of Socom II in it's time, and this appeals to me in many of the same regards - emphasis on teamwork, strategy and surveillance, and great maps and modes to keep it fresh. And as you can see, it looks stunning. Please, watch this multiplayer interview as well. I'm obviously psyched at this point - March is looking like the best month for gaming since last January.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Precipice part 2
So, where were we? If Sony did indeed roll out an online service superior to Live, somehow, this whole thing would be over a whole lot quicker than is worth discussion. Outside of the prospect of Halo 3, Microsoft have little else. Not having a game you can get behind at launch is fine for a bit, but Microsoft are competing, and they don't really have time on their side. A Gears of War demo packaged with every new 360 sold could do a lot of good, but if won't fight off the inevitable.
I won't fully count out mystery game X - GTA3 in previous examples, a game that comes out of nowhere to define a generation. This could very well land on the 360, but the installed base has to be there to appreciate it. Considering how powerful a first-party Sony punch is, Microsoft needs to pick up the pace there as well. And, as much as I hate to say it, they don't need to be taking any risks here. They just need a steady stream of good, predictable titles. They should be taking every risk possible in Japan, but they are too exposed here to have an excusable stream of failures.
As much as I want it to be neck and neck, I just feel like Microsoft has no momentum at the moment, and everyone is just drooling over anything that the other companies let slip. I understand that they're selling every system that hits shelves here, but it's kind of hollow - it's just meeting demand, not pushing systems. I do hope that everything changes next month. I want the most out of my 360, and I want a game to come home and hope online with every night. Or at least explore Tamri'el while chatting to my buddies. I've been enamored with the system, but there's still not a whole lot drawing me to it on a daily basis.
Eh, I guess I'm just preaching to the choir here. Everyone knows in their heart of hearts that Sony will cruise again this gen, as mixed a blessing as that is. Until Nintendo change the world, or publicly solidify their plans to, things aren't going to change.
I won't fully count out mystery game X - GTA3 in previous examples, a game that comes out of nowhere to define a generation. This could very well land on the 360, but the installed base has to be there to appreciate it. Considering how powerful a first-party Sony punch is, Microsoft needs to pick up the pace there as well. And, as much as I hate to say it, they don't need to be taking any risks here. They just need a steady stream of good, predictable titles. They should be taking every risk possible in Japan, but they are too exposed here to have an excusable stream of failures.
As much as I want it to be neck and neck, I just feel like Microsoft has no momentum at the moment, and everyone is just drooling over anything that the other companies let slip. I understand that they're selling every system that hits shelves here, but it's kind of hollow - it's just meeting demand, not pushing systems. I do hope that everything changes next month. I want the most out of my 360, and I want a game to come home and hope online with every night. Or at least explore Tamri'el while chatting to my buddies. I've been enamored with the system, but there's still not a whole lot drawing me to it on a daily basis.
Eh, I guess I'm just preaching to the choir here. Everyone knows in their heart of hearts that Sony will cruise again this gen, as mixed a blessing as that is. Until Nintendo change the world, or publicly solidify their plans to, things aren't going to change.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
At a precipice, we stand.
It would be a bit too easy to talk about the games. I could bitch about how the monotonous minutia in Animal Crossing will ultimately be it's undoing for me (well, it's all minutia, but I'm mostly speaking about unnecessarily repetitive menu navigation and such). I could mention how goddamned fantastic Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter is looking, or how excited I am about Oblivion being three fortnights away - but then so is every other gamer. I would rather talk about the Big Three, and where they stand right now for me. I think things could potentially change quite a bit next month with several huge 360 releases, but take this for where things stand right now.
Firstly, NOW is the time for Sony to spit out some PS3 details, and I'm stunned that they haven't taken advantage of the situation yet. If they were to hold a press conference tomorrow and announce a firm fall launch, $500 price tag and a peak at a new game, half of the people still waiting for 360s would wait that much longer and pop down a PS3 pre-order within the week. Microsoft got a lot of things right with their launch, but considering how severe the production droughts have been we're still now done with it as far as I'm concerned. March is going to be big for them, but everything is a gamble at this point. I'm going to say now that GRAW will be THE killer online app, but you can't really have a system-seller when you don't have any systems to sell. As good as the lineup will be, it will really only justify the system on the software end for early adopters like myself. It might confirm for the public that a couple of their favorite franchises from last gen are coming to the 360, but again, it won't sell systems.
Oh, quick tangent - it REALLY frustrates me that The Outfit is coming out a week after GRAW and the day before Battlefield. I understand it's the end of the fiscal year, but that's one of the worst long-term business decisions I've ever been witness to. It's bad enough that they're all military games, but a new IP sandwiched between two proven franchises? I've been psyched about the game since it saw it at E3, and they're releasing it the week that I'm LEAST likely to buy it. If someone looking forward to it might not even pick it up, what chance does it have among the masses? Very frustrating.
Back on topic. Tom and I were talking yesterday, and he made a good point about Sony and Nintendo playing the waiting game with each other. Not that they are even serious competitors at the moment, but mindshare can be a powerful thing. If Sony DID have a press conference tomorrow to bite the 360, Nintendo could very well hold one a week later and show the world how they will truly evolve gaming, not just make it cooler. They wouldn't sell any fewer PS3s are a result, but they would be at the recoiling end of having to prove part of their relevancy again. The portable battle could be affected as well depending on the connectivity options available. If people know that they'll be able to Tivo their shows through their PS3 for their PSP on the go, they might think twice about picking up a DS between now and Thanksgiving. And visa versa with whatever crazy crap the DS will no doubt do with the Revolution.
Hmm, I'm tired. Let this be part one. Part two will be addendumed (bam! new word - I'm like the sexy lovechild of Emeril and Webster) tomorrow.
Firstly, NOW is the time for Sony to spit out some PS3 details, and I'm stunned that they haven't taken advantage of the situation yet. If they were to hold a press conference tomorrow and announce a firm fall launch, $500 price tag and a peak at a new game, half of the people still waiting for 360s would wait that much longer and pop down a PS3 pre-order within the week. Microsoft got a lot of things right with their launch, but considering how severe the production droughts have been we're still now done with it as far as I'm concerned. March is going to be big for them, but everything is a gamble at this point. I'm going to say now that GRAW will be THE killer online app, but you can't really have a system-seller when you don't have any systems to sell. As good as the lineup will be, it will really only justify the system on the software end for early adopters like myself. It might confirm for the public that a couple of their favorite franchises from last gen are coming to the 360, but again, it won't sell systems.
Oh, quick tangent - it REALLY frustrates me that The Outfit is coming out a week after GRAW and the day before Battlefield. I understand it's the end of the fiscal year, but that's one of the worst long-term business decisions I've ever been witness to. It's bad enough that they're all military games, but a new IP sandwiched between two proven franchises? I've been psyched about the game since it saw it at E3, and they're releasing it the week that I'm LEAST likely to buy it. If someone looking forward to it might not even pick it up, what chance does it have among the masses? Very frustrating.
Back on topic. Tom and I were talking yesterday, and he made a good point about Sony and Nintendo playing the waiting game with each other. Not that they are even serious competitors at the moment, but mindshare can be a powerful thing. If Sony DID have a press conference tomorrow to bite the 360, Nintendo could very well hold one a week later and show the world how they will truly evolve gaming, not just make it cooler. They wouldn't sell any fewer PS3s are a result, but they would be at the recoiling end of having to prove part of their relevancy again. The portable battle could be affected as well depending on the connectivity options available. If people know that they'll be able to Tivo their shows through their PS3 for their PSP on the go, they might think twice about picking up a DS between now and Thanksgiving. And visa versa with whatever crazy crap the DS will no doubt do with the Revolution.
Hmm, I'm tired. Let this be part one. Part two will be addendumed (bam! new word - I'm like the sexy lovechild of Emeril and Webster) tomorrow.
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