Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Yie Ar Kung-Fu
If Xbox Live Arcade was a physical museum instead of a virtual one, Yie Ar Kung-Fu would be shunted somewhere towards the back. A sleepy-eyed tour guide would stress its importance in the early years of gaming while trying to ignore the stifled laughs of restless museum-goers. After thirty seconds of archaic gameplay footage, guests would happily sprint to more worthwhile exhibits, forgetting this dusty fighter as soon as it left their sights.
When you consider the vast treasure of early gaming that lays untapped, it is quite puzzling that Konami would retrieve this game from the ether. There is a reason people consider Street Fighter II the first relevant fighting game ever created: it is. With minuscule sprites and an even smaller move list, Yie Ar Kung-Fu should serve as a warning sign to every publisher hoping to dump their unloved creation on the unsuspecting public.
Sadly, you can only select one character to play as. But the main character has a name and personality we can all get behind. Oolong not only can fight with the best of them, he comes equipped with a brilliant pair of blue parachute pants. If you're going to hang out in a gaming sewer for an afternoon, you could do a lot worse than battling your way through the cast of characters in this literally translated tournament. Closely following the ancient martial arts rule that all fighters must be named after their weapon of choice, you'll battle the likes of Star, Pole and Fan. It's a shame Wang was left as an NES exclusive.
You may be wondering what sort of weapon Oolong wields. Could Oolong be another word for mace or (crosses fingers) rocket launcher? Unfortunately this is not the case. My Japanese is a little rusty, but I think Oolong means fist, foot or unarmed wuss. While you have to jump away from ninja stars and dive out of the way of speeding swords, you opponents just have to worry about your tiny fists of fury.
While the controls are as responsive as you could ask of a 22-year-old fighting game, the amount of moves you have at your disposal is shallow at best. One of the Achievements urges you to land every punch combination in a single match. Yeah, there's less than a handful of moves available. At least the game is two player, right? Every game is better with a friend! Well, none of my friends are simple enough to buy this game, but I did orchestrate an online match against a complete stranger. After losing, I am still not quite sure how the mode functions. I know that I did not fight my opponent, but since there are only two characters on screen, I have no idea what I did to lose.
Baffling multiplayer aside, this game has very few redeeming qualities. It just makes me laugh that Konami thought it would delight the masses by bringing this moldy relic to XBLA. It is the worst game on the service, vastly overpriced at $5. Or maybe Im just bitter about the egregious lack of Wang.
When you consider the vast treasure of early gaming that lays untapped, it is quite puzzling that Konami would retrieve this game from the ether. There is a reason people consider Street Fighter II the first relevant fighting game ever created: it is. With minuscule sprites and an even smaller move list, Yie Ar Kung-Fu should serve as a warning sign to every publisher hoping to dump their unloved creation on the unsuspecting public.
Sadly, you can only select one character to play as. But the main character has a name and personality we can all get behind. Oolong not only can fight with the best of them, he comes equipped with a brilliant pair of blue parachute pants. If you're going to hang out in a gaming sewer for an afternoon, you could do a lot worse than battling your way through the cast of characters in this literally translated tournament. Closely following the ancient martial arts rule that all fighters must be named after their weapon of choice, you'll battle the likes of Star, Pole and Fan. It's a shame Wang was left as an NES exclusive.
You may be wondering what sort of weapon Oolong wields. Could Oolong be another word for mace or (crosses fingers) rocket launcher? Unfortunately this is not the case. My Japanese is a little rusty, but I think Oolong means fist, foot or unarmed wuss. While you have to jump away from ninja stars and dive out of the way of speeding swords, you opponents just have to worry about your tiny fists of fury.
While the controls are as responsive as you could ask of a 22-year-old fighting game, the amount of moves you have at your disposal is shallow at best. One of the Achievements urges you to land every punch combination in a single match. Yeah, there's less than a handful of moves available. At least the game is two player, right? Every game is better with a friend! Well, none of my friends are simple enough to buy this game, but I did orchestrate an online match against a complete stranger. After losing, I am still not quite sure how the mode functions. I know that I did not fight my opponent, but since there are only two characters on screen, I have no idea what I did to lose.
Baffling multiplayer aside, this game has very few redeeming qualities. It just makes me laugh that Konami thought it would delight the masses by bringing this moldy relic to XBLA. It is the worst game on the service, vastly overpriced at $5. Or maybe Im just bitter about the egregious lack of Wang.
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