Wednesday, August 11, 2004

OPM Demo Disc Review Issue 84

The month was pretty frickin' fantastic. Well, not all of the demos were at the top of their game (har har), but overall there's plenty here to fawn over.

Demos:

Athens 2004 - With everyone so excited about this summer's Olympic games, it's not too surprising someone decided to attempt a quick cash-in. Unfortunately, Track & Field this is not. You'd think gameplay would have changed a bit since 1987, but you'd be wrong. Sure, the motion capture is decent enough, and there are apparently a ton of different events in the final version (this demo had three - 100 meter frantic button-press, high measured button-press jump, and discus palm-gouging button-press throw), but when most of them involve giving yourself carpal tunnel syndrome while trying to beat a computer-controlled nameless Swiss transsexual by a couple of inches or seconds, the appeal kind of runs right out of the stadium.

Astro Boy - Well, it seems like this game caters moreso to fanboys of the ludicrously popular (in Japan) series than newcomers, and since I only own a couple of old Astro Boy comics, all I can say is that the gameplay mechanics are fairly solid. Movement and combat both resemble and feel like a somewhat less dynamic Zone of the Enders, while finger lasers and shoe boosters keep things on the somewhat goofy side. The sense of flight and freedom isn't quite as great as ZOE either, but it's still fun to tool around the skies. I'm sure I could go either way on the final version - I could easily see myself playing through the game if I picked it up cheap, but I could just as easily...not.

Burnout 'Motherfucking' 3 - As great as I expected it to be, possibly even better. I'm a huge fan of the second game in the series, and the third game is one of my most-looked-forward-to games of the fall, despite some ridiculous competition. Though I'll be buying the X-Box version of the final game, this PS2 demo thoroughly whet my appetite. First, it should be noted that it looks as good, if not better, as the X-Box version of Burnout 2. Whether you're careening off of taxis at 80 miles per hour or spinning through the air in slow motion as sparks and bits of your car litter the street below, this one's definitely a looker. The sense of speed is still as good as it gets, somehow finding a way to improve over it's already blazing predecessor, and the new and improved crashes are satisfyingly devastating, with an even stronger focus on offensive driving making things even more interesting and chaotic when enemy cars are nearby. Little things, like a much improved boost meter and more aggressive AI stand out a lot, and with the promise of a ton of new cars, tracks, around a hundred crash mode courses, and all of them playable either co-op or competitive online, well, you have a hell of a game going.

Echo Night: Beyond - As any regular read of this site knows, I can't play scary games. I can make a few sacrifices for greatness such as Silent Hill and the odd Resident Evil, but unless it's gold, it's not worth the nerves. I figured this first-person ghostly space exploration game might be novel, and while the creepy sounds and atmosphere are certainly there, the muddy graphics and entirely unremarkable gameplay sour what little the game has going for it. I'll bide my time and build up my courage for Silent Hill 4 in the meantime.

Test Drive: Eve of Destruction - Putting this demo on the same disc as Burnout 3 is either the worst marketing idea ever devised by Atari, or the most successful nefarious plot by Criterion to steal Atari's craptacular demo and put it on the same disc as their vastly superior racing game's. Oh, and while we're making halfway intelligent decisions on how to show off our game to people (this means you Atari), if you're going to put demos of four different modes of gameplay, how about making it so that the demo doesn't quit after each one? Do you want me to try them all out or not? Well, actually, I wouldn't want anyone else to try them out either now that I think about it. This game is crap, and pales into comparison to virtually any other racing game I've played in the last three years. And I think trying out four different, equally crappy modes gives me more than enough license to say that. Three of the modes focus mainly on crashing, incorporated into racing or smaller arena tracks. The crashes themselves aren't that bad, but every second you're not involved in some sort of autocide is pure hell. The unimaginative, blocky cars control like runaway sleds, with nothing close to resembling front-wheel driving. While the sense of speed in the above-mentioned Burnout feels similar to riding a rocket-boot wearing cheetah in fast-forward, TD:EOD reminds you of that time your submarine got stuck in the molasses while you were exploring the moon and had three sweaters on. On top of all that, the visuals and sound are about as average as it gets, and the AI of the other cars is noticeably robotic. The one mode that you'd think would be fun - a pure destruction derby with a good number of cars - turns ridiculous very quickly when you realize you can win every time just by avoiding the other cars until they're smashed each other to bits. But where the fuck is the fun in that?

Van Helsing - I enjoyed the movie well enough, and I like Devil May Cry as much as the next gamer, but their marriage and subsequent birthing of this game doesn't quite hold my interest like I'd want it to. The basic game mechanics are virtually identical to DMC, whereas the levels, weapons and enemies are not quite as compelling. Also, Dr. Helsing's polygonal doppleganger loses any badassitude he had going for him in the film thanks to the lack of Hugh Jackman's screen presence and legally trademarked sass. Shooting hordes of gasmask-wearing oompa-loompas with a crossbow would usually have me running hand over foot, but it just doesn't do it for me here. Perfectly serviceable for a movie tie-in, but nothing to bring home to your vampiric mother.

Everything Else:

While not all the demos were totally tasty, this disc has a ton of downright delicious videos (save Street Racing Syndicate; it just looks... exactly like you'd expect). Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War looks super-gorgeous, with some surprisingly intriguing story bits and wingmen mechanics going on as well. Area 51 is looking better every time I see it, and I'll definitely be playing through the Half Life wannabe later this year. Forgotten Realms: Demon Stone uses the LoTR:TT engine, and looks like it will be fun despite the lesser license; the animation looks great, and swapping between characters on the fly will surely makes things interesting. The monthly Gran Turismo 4 update was actually pretty solid this time around, showing off the insanely comprehensive photo mode (you can pause the game at any time, snap a photo, then tweak everything [even depth of field!] about it later on and print out your snazzy pic with a USB printer), and some beautiful new levels. Even though it looks almost identical to it's predecessor, a feature on the voice talent in Hot Shots Golf Fore! has me salivating to play the game again. A nice interview with Hideo Kojima backs a great Metal Gear Solid 3 video, which is slowly but consistently creeping higher and higher on my must-play list. Finally, a new Star Wars Battlefront video not only makes it look as addictive as Socom, but the best use of the license yet outside of KOTOR. Great, great stuff.


Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The Last Straw

And finally, the #1 reason why Tommy Tallarico is the biggest idiot douche in the industry:

"This game has it all." - Tommy, Reviewing Brute Force

Monday, August 09, 2004

Do penguins go to hell?

Is Doom 3 the scariest game of all time? Well, I don’t think so, but I did get to play it a few days ago and, though my time with the game was brief, I can safely say this is number one on my list of games I need to play when they finally get ported off that most archaic of gaming platforms – the PC – and get brought into my home via the modern wonders of the Xbox. Now that I’ve spat out a most unwieldy run-on sentence, it is time to document my adventures controlling a marine in hell with only a mouse and keyboard at my disposal.

The game starts the player off in a kind of level zero. You walk around, talking to various people and just kind of hang out, waiting for something exciting to happen. Eventually, for reasons unknown to me, the floor cracks open and the occupants of hell overrun the previously peaceful marine base. This is something that I had to learn by watching Lanyon play the game.

My experience was much, much different. Upon firing up the game and finding myself in a dark room with nary a flashlight to my name, I began to panic. Though there were no actual bad guys at this point, the suffocating atmosphere was crushing me like a ton of marshmallow peeps, and the fear of having to eventual combat the beasts of hell with the rudimentary mouse controls, was enough to make me crawl into a tiny hole.

And that, my friends, is the very first thing I did after the cut scenes had ceased boring me. I briefly walked around the very first room in the game, couldn’t find exactly where to go (it’s dark, mind you), so I attempted to crouch and crawl into a small cubbyhole. This may make sense if the tunnel led to somewhere, but, even if I could actually fit in the hole, I would have promptly found myself against a wall. Fortunately, Lanyon stepped in before I made too big an ass out of myself, and told me where to go.

After a minute of slowly navigating the dark control room, I found myself against a rail overlooking a lava pit. I quickly panicked. The W button, which had so faithfully moved me forward these past 60 seconds, was now offering me no help at all. I swung the mouse wildly over the pad, trying to see if there was some way past this horrible little rail. Finding nothing, I did the only logical thing a person in my position could do – I hit the space bar, throwing my highly trained marine body into the fiery depths of hell. To recap – in my first minute of playing I attempted to wedge myself in a small hole in the wall and died some time before the first enemy even appeared. Not the experience John Carmack envisioned those late nights coding this bad boy.

As the level reloaded to give me a second chance at playing, Lanyon was shocked to discover the level had changed. As I mentioned earlier, the game is designed to let you get used to the controls as you walk around the base with no enemies present. You talk to people, learn some stories, and then, only after you have played game 10 minutes, does the first enemy appear. By dying before I had triggered any of the events, the game got so confused it just assumed it had mistaken how I died, and placed me in the level after the minions from hell had already overrun the base.

That means that I was so bad, testers and coders working tirelessly on this game for years, never encountered the situation of my first play through. They falsely assumed that any person playing Doom 3 would at least be able to survive long enough for the first enemy to appear. Oh, how very wrong they were.

My time after the enemies began to attack me did not last very long. Though I had a flashlight, shotgun and pistol at my disposal, I could barely survive the first fight. This is not the fault of the game, however, so I’ll try to keep my horrible playing out of the rest of these impressions. The game is creepy because you simply cannot see anything. The entire time you walk around the base you have to make sure your flashlight is out. If you walk with your gun out you will not see anything. This means that, when an enemy attacks you, and you have to put your flashlight away and take out your gun, you find yourself firing blindly towards sound. After only 5 minutes of trying to fight these seemingly invisible monsters my nerves were completely shot.

All told, I probably only played the game about 10 minutes, if not less. Maybe my opinion is not the most trustworthy around, but I really enjoyed my experience. Give me the Xbox controller and I would have had a blast with the game. Amazing graphics and an appearance from a robot Satan, what could be better? In conclusion, John Carmack is more talented than John Romero.

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