G-pinions

I should write this while the sting of defeat is still fresh. You see, last night Dan and I played a good 4+ hours of Fight Night 2004. The game is spectacular, for the most part, but I'll talk about that another time. Back to the story. So this morning I woke up early (11:30) and played another hour of the game before heading over to my local Gamecrazy (yes, that Gamecrazy) for a Fight Night tournament. The game came out on Tuesday, and I figure I'm an above average gamer, so even if someone bought it the day it was released I thought I would have a good shot at beating them after one solid night of play. So over at Gamecrazy, a couple people are milling around. I play a practice round against someone, and he very narrowly beats me. The controls weren't configured how I like 'em though, and I was using some bullshit tiny, badly layed-out third party controller. So I assume that with a good controller and my control scheme of choice I would have beat this guy easy. And I probably would have. I know there's no way I'm going to compete under these unprofessioanl conditions, so I make the guy get a proper Dual Shock 2 for the tournament. The first match of players comes and goes, and it seems I am in good shape after watching them button-mash for ten minutes (something that will get you nowhere in this game). The second pair of fighters are a little better, not great, and the round ends quickly. This whole time people have been paired up by drawing numbers out of a box. So, of course, when my turn rolls around, I get paired up with a little kid (couldn't have been older than 11). This kid had been all nervous and twitchy up until that point, muttering to himself, and now I can see why. This kid is good. He wiped the floor with me. Well, not quite wiped, but at least buffed. I think I would have had a good chance at beating him, but I was player two, and after playing several hours exclusively on the left side, being on the right messed me up something fierce. It's not like Street Fighter, where punching is punching. It changes the whole direction of all your hits and dodges. And you can't get on the other side of them, ever. So, point is, I got my ass handed to me by some little squirt. And all I have to show for it is a consolation Resident Evil Outbreak watch I will glad mail off to the first person who e-mails me their address.

Now, to go melt my mind with some more Wario Ware (GC).

Alright, Dan, you're right. Enough of this petty bickering about EA. I still don't think anyone who plays EA games regularly, such as myself, will ever understand Tom's argument, but I guess us arguing from such a subjective viewpoint isn't fun or informative to read. So, without further delay, I bring you a post not mentioning EA:

The UPS guy showed up at my door two days ago with a nice big box. He always says "sorry to bother you", and this time I relied "at least this time I'm wearing pants." I think we both wished I was joking. Turns out he was delivering the copy of Time Crisis 3 with the Guncon 2 I picked up online last week for $30 used. It arrived new, which was pretty bomb, and help EB score back some points with me (they've lost a ton since they started charging tax...boooo). The Guncon was kind of a hassle to hook up, but it ended up being worth the trouble since the game rules. I figured it would just plug into a controller port, but I never really considered how it has to interact with your TV in that "special" way. In the same way a sandwich interacts with my mouth when I eat it. You know. So I had to unplug my S-Video to use it which was kinda of lame, and reminded my how blah most games look without the proper wiring. It also uses a USB port, which isn't so much of a hassle, but still, an organizational hassle. So after like four months behind my TV I got it all hooked up proper style, and easily calibrated it on the TV. And as I said, the game rules. It's even better than the fucking arcade game. It's as fast-paced and visceral as ever, and being able to pause and not hold your arms straight out in front of you for twenty minutes really helps maintain sanity and tendons, respectively. The game is only three levels long, but each level is huge, and challenging as fuck. I got missle-launched in the face many a time, and not at my request. And besides being difficult at points, the levels are about ten times more inventive than any other lightgun shooter I've played. At one point I was running along the top of a train shootering guys, until the train fell half off of a recently exploded bridge. I then had to peek out looking down the fallen half of the train, shooting guys who popped out while others fell to their death. Think, um, Jurassic park when their camper slides off that muddy ledge after the T-Rexes do their thing. You know, that one part....with the angry dinosaurs...

This game, Breakdown, is one of the main reasons for me buying an X-Box. Well, one of the main reasons to buy one now. The other reasons are Halo 2, Fable, and The Stranger (Oddworld's new game), so I've got a while on those. So I'll probably pick one up soon, maybe even put my "free" Live account to good use.

I'm shocked and appalled that Naughty Dog can put together such amazing games in a year, as they appear to have done with Jak3. Wait, no, that's not right...I meant delighted! It's mind-blowing how fast a tight-knit, quality development team can work when they want to. I had my fair share of problems with Jak2, but it was totally fun and the city and characters they created were amazing. Even Tom rented it, and he never rents games. So while I'm a bit surprised to see them reusing characters and such from Jak2, it makes sense to not put such hard work to waste. And if any of the game takes place in desert wastelands, as is hinted at, it should be awesome. I've always thought that the more organic environments in platformers were always the best levels. Insomniac is also putting out a new Ratchet and Clank game this year, which I'm sure will be equally as awesome, if not better. Dammit, I should go start R&C2. It's also been hinted at that since the two development teams (ND and Insomniac) share their secrets with each other and are probably the friendliest competing companies around, that they might collaborate on a title, possibly even a PS3 launch title. If that happened, the result would probably give Mario a run for his money as the best platformer around. I mean, christ, that amount of design talent and programming skillz is scary.

And, finally, this is amazing.

Did you really just write another post telling about the many virtues of Electronic Arts?

Somehow you still can’t understand why I don’t like them so I’ll spell it out in very simple terms.

1) EA is the biggest publisher in the world.

2) They are content making games that fit into nice, neat little genres. They do not push their games. They do not strive to innovate or push the industry forward. The simply make sequels to all of their games every year and rely on big names and marketing to sell the rest. Their cash cow is the Madden series, a franchise that was not the best football series on the market for a stretch. Remember when they didn’t release Madden ’97 because 989’s Gameday ’97 was so far beyond theirs? And Sega’s NFL2K was far better than Madden 00. Just because it didn’t sell as well doesn’t mean it wasn’t as good. Gamers generally are stupid, that’s why sequels and licensed crap sells better than good, original games.

3) As the biggest publisher in the world I expect them to push the industry forward. I expect them to create games that are timeless. That will appear on Top 100 Games of All Time lists 5 years from now. I expect them to create genres and push old genres farther than anyone thought possible.

For an example of how a publisher can both be the largest in the world and an innovator, look at the company EA unseated: Nintendo. Nintendo published games like Mario, Zelda, Goldeneye and Super Mario Kart. These games are so good that when Nintendo ports them to the Gameboy Advance people buy them, even though they came out a decade ago. Do you think people would buy SSX Tricky in 10 years?

EA does not make bad games. I never said all of their games were bad. Some of their sports games, like MVP Baseball and NCAA Football, are the best in their genres. But they don’t do anything different. They don’t create anything that can be considered art. Do you understand what I’m talking about?

For a reference here, let’s look at what games Penny Arcade said were the best of 2003. They chose 12 games, surely some would have to be made by EA, right? Right? Wrong. Not like PA is the ultimate source in the world, but they are trustworthy and reliable, they own every system and play just about every genre. They seem like a source to trust if one can trust a source. And yet, they didn’t include 1 EA game on their list… I wonder if it’s because EA just doesn’t make great games… Oh, and if you’re wondering, there were 3 Nintendo games on their list.

So, while you may not understand, still, why I don’t like EA, I think most other people can. I want great games. EA does not make great games.

A few responses to what you wrote:

Just because I played Bond for 5 hours on Saturday doesn’t mean it is a great game. Remember that I’m the guy who played 3 hours of Crash Test Dummies with my friend one day… and we didn’t even pass the first level.

About Everything or Nothing:

"gadgets are all fun and actually useful for a change."

The spider cam was fun the first time, but how often did we really use it? And was it really fun to have to stop the action, switch to the rapel gun, look up, and shoot a ledge to advance in levels all the time? I know I got sick of it after a while.

"but the switch to third person here is more immersive"

So, are all 3rd person shooters more immersive than 1st person shooters? That's weird... See, I always thought Goldeneye was more immersive because, while I might not have been able to see my character, I actually had full control over him. I don't remember you pulling off headshots with ease in Everything or Nothing, yet in Goldneye's control scheme it was easy to shoot whatever part of the body you wanted.

"allows for more dynamic level design"

I might have missed something. It seemed like every level that you are on foot was pretty much the same. Box to hid behind here. Wall to shoot around here. Ledge to repel up/down here. Did I miss a level?

I could see how it would be hard to play Goldeneye with only one stick. I mean, Everything or Nothing truly makes full use of that right analog stick to, um, do something very important.

I'm not going to argue PCs here, but MS must be doing something right. My Windows 95 in my apartment and XP at home never crash and I can run every program I want quickly and easily. Plus they clearly made Apple the red headed step child of the industry. Sure, if you want to edit film you can buy a Mac, but if you want to do anything else, especially play games, you're better off with the cheaper PC.

Man, thank fuck for articles like this. The industry might be accepted by the mainstream audience, but it's far from being respected. That's all I have to say about that, for now.

And dammit, Tom, whenever you try to rip EA you just sound like you're struggling to insult them. I mean, the game is obviously solid as hell. If it wasn't, you and I wouldn't have played it all night, even past the time when our gracious-yet-smelly hosts went to sleep. I'm glad that you can at least see how fun their games are in this instance though. Besides a few little control and design choices, Everything or Nothing is top tier gaming. It's nice and hard (to do well, anyhow), and the gadgets are all fun and actually useful for a change. And I don't think the expression "If it ain't broke", etc., can be applied here, because while they weren't broke, Agent Under Fire and Nightfire weren't Goldeneye-caliber by any means. They were fun and all, but the switch to third person here is more immersive (because we actually feel like Bond since we're seeing Pierce's gorgeous mug the whole game and we get to see him use his gadgets and whatnot), and allows for more dynamic level design since using the environment is crucial to success.

Tom and I argued for a while about whether Goldeneye has aged well (he is of the opinion that all good games will be good forever). I guess I'll never truly know since I can't play it anymore as a result of being way too indoctrinated in the ways of the dual-analog control scheme. But I will say that it was damn fun back in the day, and that it will always be looked upon well because of it's FPS innovations. And it sucks for you that Goldeneye 2 is being made by your least-favorite company after the first one was made by your favorite company. That's like Microsoft making the next Final Fantasy for me. Or something. I guess I just can't see your reasoning behind EA hatred, even after numerous discussions. Hating a big company that has a virtual monopoly over a segment of business is all well and good and understandable, but the fact that EA makes great games changes everything. Most people would say that Starbucks doesn't make the best, tastiest most fairly-priced coffee. If they did, I don't think so many people would complain about them opening up a new store every four blocks. Microsoft has gotten Windows onto a ridiculous amount of computers in the world, but as we all know, Windows is the AOL of operating systems. Blockbuster doesn't have the best selection, and they don't have the best prices by any means. But they're everywhere. So hate them all you want. But with EA, well, they make and publish the best licensed games, the best sports games by far, and everything else that doesn't fit into one of those two categories is usually pretty damn great too. Without them, the entire sports game genre would be years behind where it is now. They even pushed Sega to make better games, for fucks sake. Name recognition and marketing can only take you so far. Gamers are a clever bunch, and they won't keep buying something if it sucks. Enter the Matrix sold amazingly well, but you'd better believe the sequel won't do so well unless Shiny takes it up like fifteen notches. The XSN sports titles sold decently out the gate, but without most of them having any real innovation or great gameplay, they fell behind and are now taking a year off to think about what they did wrong. Crap won't last, and EA have been around for a hell of a long time. And they're not going to go anywhere unless another developer really has the talent and the balls to try and up the ante and succeeds. And the day that happens will be a great day in videogames, not because EA was trumped, but because they'll have to work even harder themselves and make even better games. And we all benefit from that.

And lastly, Street Fighter III Third Strike kicks a lot of ass. Turns out I'm fairly good at it. I've been playing every time I go to the pool hall near my house, and I must say, I missed Akuma's flying fists of cartilage liquidation for all those years. The lightning fast, thumb-destroying fights are just so strategic and fun at such a blinding speed and so beautifully animated. And the move sets are just as well balanced and thoughtful as ever. I still think throwing a fireball is one of the most perfect movements to be found in all of videogamedom. Ahh, joy is SF. I should buy it for my DC.

I have a confession to make: I not only played Everything or Nothing for more than 5 hours yesterday, but I really enjoyed it. I know, I’m a horrible person for ripping EA constantly, and then turning around and enjoying one of their games. But I can explain, really. First of all, Dan just happens to be the biggest EA whore I know. Every one of his games is made by that evil company – SSX, Lord of the Rings: Two Towers and Lord of the Rings, Return of the King. Well, that might be it, but I’m sure he thinks GTA and Ico were made by them as all. He’s like a baby goat sucking from the teat of Papa Goat. But he doesn’t realize how much better the milk tastes coming out of Mama Goat because he’s so brainwashed by his evil Papa.

Anyway, the other reason I played the game is it actually is quite fun. It’s not the most innovative game, no. In fact, it pretty much goes right along with the very reason I hate EA in the first place – they make good games and are able to sell them because of marketing and name recognition. Even the best of us (me) need to slink back to the lower depths of the video game industry and play what everyone else is playing and enjoying. Five hours later, I’m back to report on what I saw.

First of all, the game looks and feels like a bloody movie. This is both good and bad. It’s good if you love movies. It’s bad if you love games. I love games so all that story crap made me a little antsy. Thankfully, the cut scenes don’t last too long and I was able to play the game. What kind of game is it, you ask? Well, if you’re picturing a next generation Goldeneye, think again. The games only resemblance to that classic is the Bond character. Everything else is completely different.

First of all, for some reason, they decided to put the game in 3rd person. Hey guys, have you ever heard the expression If It Ain’t Broke? The game is fun despite the 3rd person, not because of it. Combat has been stripped of much skill and creativity, forcing the player to manually lock on to enemies with L1 before they can shoot them. This means most fights consist of finding cover behind a wall or box, hitting L1 to target an enemy, and then shooting him dead with R1. Repeat until room is empty. It works well enough most of the time, but the targeting system is a little finicky. Say you want to lock on to that enemy barreling towards you. Uh uh, Ain’t gonna happen unless EA says it can happen. Chances are you’ll lock on to a guy standing in the back of the room with the pistol halfway up his ass. And, it’s also a pain in the ass to get a head shot in combat. After you lock on you’re giving a little red target to move with the right stick. In theory you should be able to shoot them in any part. But, you’ll never have time to do this in the heat of combat. And, if you try to target, say, their feet when they’re hiding behind a wall, the hit won’t actually register. So the actual combat in the game is lacking.

But, the game kept my interest by having a ton of different levels. Most of the time you’re just on foot trying to do one objective or another, but sometimes they give you a car, which is always cool. Or a motorcycle, which can shoot fire from it’s sides. Or a tank, which seems cool but the control of it made me want to pull out my spleen. But, to make up for that lousy level they let you jump off a cliff, with no parachute, to save the hot chick. Now that’s fun.

The game keeps you going because you’re Bond and you never know what cool thing you’ll do next. We got this cool little hidden camera thing at one point. There’s this “tiny” spider, about a foot across, that conspicuously walks ahead of you to check out what the enemy situation is. Obviously, this giant metal spider doesn’t blend it too well, so if an enemy sees it they’ll either be pissed and start to stab you with their gun, or just smash the thing. Clearly, smashing the spider is a punishment too strong to speak rationally about. Q only gives you 4 of those things and they have to last the whole game!

Oh, there’s a 2 player co-op mode in this as well. You don’t get to play the solo missions; you get entirely new missions. These new levels try to make you work together, like one guy has to disarm a bomb while another shoots everyone in the room dead. Pretty cool. It’s a much more arcadey version of the 1 player mode. For instance, you’re not really punished at all by dying, you simply respawn at the beginning of the level. It takes away the challenge somewhat, but it is a cool mode.

One major complaint is the lack of a multiplayer mode right away. Apparently, you have to actually unlock the 4 player mode for some reason, and, after playing for 5 hours, it was still locked. Stupid jerks, who thought it was a good idea to lock the 4 player mode anyway?

So that’s it. I played an EA game, it wasn’t bad at all. That’s the best praise you’ll hear me say about an EA game… unless it’s Beetle Adventure Racing. I should probably write a whole post about that.