G-pinions

Alright, Tom has been bugging the crap out of me as to why I'm even considering buying a PSP, especially with all the new launch details out. So, my take:

$250 isn't bad. It's a lot of money, especially considering what else can be bought for that much (5 new games, 12.5 copies of Katamari Damacy, etc.), but it's still an amazing deal consider the technology you're paying for. I don't expect anybody who hasn't played the system to understand that, but I think Sony's marketing department, and word of mouth, will take care of that. If you'll remember the release of the original Game Boy, it launched for $169.99 in 1988. I asked my dad how much money that would be today, and without being prompted, he replied "probably about $250". So, there you go. Obviously times have changed, and while I won't try to compare how on the cusp of technology the GB was compared to the PSP, I will say that this is meant for a much more adult audience. That amount of money is pretty inconsequential for anyone paying rent, and that seems to be the case these days for the average gamer (who is 24).

The main reason people are bitching about the price is that it was expected to be a bit less than that after the unit launched optionally by itself for $185 in Japan. But c'mon, everyone is going to buy a memory stick anyways (which has plenty of space for game saves), a case (which will protect it if it's dropped, unlike Tom "I haven't seen the system in person, nevermind played it, but I'll judge everything about it anyways" Mc Shea would have you believe), and a cleaning cloth (which you'll want once you see the magnificent screen). The Spider-Man 2 bonus is nice for those who like awful movies, and the rest of the stuff is pretty much expected. I guess it would be nice to have the option of buying everything separately, but it's not like they're giving you anything you wouldn't end up buying anyways (except the remote).

Saying that the system is "clearly not worth $250", like a certain co-writer of mine, just shows how little you understand about the cost of technology. Making things portable is expensive as hell, as you'll see from the price of laptops, iPods, etc. I can't begin to imagine how large a hit Sony are taking with every system sold; they must really be banking on selling a ton of games. Speaking of games, the launch lineup is pretty spectacular. Not so much for the amount of 'must-buy' games, of which there are only a few, but for the massive number of games available. Seriously, when was the last time a system launch had every genre except traditional RPG covered? People only buy a couple of games at launch anyhow, so it's great to have such a variety to choose from. There are a ton of sports games for those who give a damn about them, some updates to classic fan favorite PS1 franchises (Twisted Metal, Wipeout, Ape Escape), a fighting game, several action games, an action-RPG, and a couple of really cool original games (Lumines, Metal Gear Ac!d, possibly Smartbomb when we find out what the hell it is). No, there aren't any 'killer apps', but compared to most other launches (DS, PS2, GC), this one is pretty great.

The fact that Tom is talking about it competing with Xbox2 pretty much proves my point though - it's more than a simple GBA competitor.

First I'll deliver the news and then my opinion. Seems easy enough, but watch for a horrible twist towards the end.

The PSP is coming out March 24, 2005. It will retail for $250. It will only be available in a "Value Pack." This includes a 32MB memory card, headphones, remote, ac adaptor, a carrying case and a demo disc. The first million PSPs sold will include a free copy of Spider Man 2 on UMD. There will be 24 games out during the "launch window." They will sell for between $40 and $50.

You thought it couldn't be done, but I can be just as boring and professional as "real" journalists. Of course, no one would ever come to this site if we just offered the facts and no crazy opinions to go with it. So now that I've thoroughly bored all of you, on to my wild opinion.

This is insane to me. I thought the system would sell for $199 at the most. Even with a few extra accessories and Spider Man 2, it's clearly not worth $250. First of all, the included extras are not all that good. In theory, a 32MB memory card sounds good, but it is, in fact, tiny. If this is truly a multimedia devise, as Sony is saying, than you will need to buy a new card right away. 32MB can hold about 6 songs on it. It can hold a couple movie trailers. Maybe an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, as long as you chop out the boring parts. That's about it. If people want to use this for anything other than games, 32MB is not nearly enough space.

Furthermore, while a case sounds like a good idea, it is, once again, a crappy version of what people really need. The PSP, unlike many multimedia devices, does not have the clam-shell design. This means that the screen is completely unprotected. When I drop my GBA or my cell phone, the body of the unit protects the screen from getting scratched or broken. While the soft case included with the PSP will protect it from smudges, it will still break if you drop it. Anyone who wants to protect their pricey investment will need to buy a hard case.

The other extra, the non playable demo and ac adaptor, are pretty much standard with multimedia products. And the remote? For a portable system? How lazy have we become? So basically, Sony feels so confident that the system will sell for $250, they didn't even include an option to just buy the system without the extra, useless crap. Which means if you want a PSP it will run you at least $300 if you want an actual game to play. And while there are a ton of games coming out right around the launch, I'm not sure how many people are going to buy a PSP to get their hands on these games.

Here is the complete list of launch titles:

Ape Escape: On the Loose, Sony Computer Entertainment America
ATV Offroad Fury: Blazin' Trails, SCEA
Darkstalkers Chronicle: The Chaos Tower, Capcom
Dynasty Warriors, Koei
FIFA 2005, Electronic Arts
Gretzky NHL, SCEA
Lumines, Ubisoft
Metal Gear Acid, Konami
MLB, SCEA
MVP Baseball, EA
NBA, SCEA
NBA Street Showdown, EA
Need for Speed Rivals, EA
NFL Street 2 Unleashed, EA
Rengoku: Tower of Purgatory, Konami
Ridge Racer, Namco
Smartbomb, Eidos Interactive
Spider-Man 2, Activision
Tiger Woods PGA Tour, EA
Tony Hawk's Underground 2 Remix, Activision
Twisted Metal: Head-On, SCEA
Untold Legends: Brotherhood of the Blade, Sony Online Entertainment
Wipeout Pure, SCEA
World Tour Soccer, SCEA

The first thing I notice while perusing that list is that more than half of the games are sports title or racers that already appear, in some form, on the PS2. I guess that's what you get when EA is your biggest partner. Other than that there is a smattering of original games, like Metal Gear Acid which turns a boring stealth game into a card battle title, but most of these simply seem like updates to games that have already been out for quite some time. And while Darkstalkers seems pretty sweet, I don't see the PSP as the ideal place to play a 2D fighter. Unless you have a friend buying a PSP so you can play two player, I don't really see the point.

All told, I'm really shocked the system costs as much as it does. Think about it for a second. When the Gamecube came out it only cost $200. When the PS2 came out almost 4 years ago it only cost $300. This system, which is pretty much an underpowered PS2, only costs $50 less than a four year old system. Just imagine for a second that the Xbox 2 comes out this fall for $300, the same price as the first Xbox. Can you believe that the most powerful system in the world may only cost $50 more than the PSP? Who is Sony trying to fool with this one?

I know the PSP will be a success, at least initially, simply because the Sony name carries so much weight at this point. If the Nintendo DS was able to sell as well as it did with a poor selection of games available, I can only imagine Sony will be able to match Nintendo, even with the higher price. My question is, why would someone want this system? I could see if you don't own a PS2 already or travel often and really want a portable multimedia center, but what about everyone else? What is it that is going to convince people to buy this system? Are the games really that good? Is the screen that nice? Is it just cool to have the newest gadget on the block?

I'd much rather buy 10 or so games for my currents systems than plop down $300 to get my hands on a PSP and Lumines. Maybe I'm just the crazy one, though.

So you know what game rocks the casbah? If you said Mercenaries, you're right, but it's not the answer I was looking for. I'm talking about Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat.

In yet another remarkable display of forward thinking, Mr. Data, who previously let me play his imported PSP, imported DK:JB solely for my enjoyment. What a guy. And what a great game. Screw that Donkey Konga shite, this is what crazy bongo peripherals are for. It's actually pretty shocking how much the game plays like an updated Donkey Kong Country. Sure, the control input couldn't be much different, but the actual gameplay is comparable. Maybe add a bit more of those animal-riding bits.

There are like four main things you do in the game - run left or right by tapping the left or right bongo, jump by tapping both at the same time, and attack, gather bananas or do all sorts of miscellaneous actions by clapping. And of course, slight variations on those things in terms of speed, rhythm, and timing. Even though you're basically performing the same set of commands over and over, the level design is incredibly varied, and each new area feels new because of how you're interacting with it. Each boss is completely different too, and makes full use of the various commands you'll learn throughout the stages.

Perhaps the best thing about the game is how insanely intuitive it is. Watching someone fly through the levels is a bit daunting, but lay hands on it and you'll discover the smoothest learning curve this side of eating a cheeseburger. Every time you encounter a new enemy, obstacle or challenge, there's about an eighty percent chance you'll figure it out on your first try. It thankfully doesn't make the game too easy though, as earning the best level awards and gathering the most bananas possible is still hella difficult.

I'm glad to see that Nintendo has stuck to it's guns, even if it's screwing them a little bit. They know fun, even if they take their damn time about releasing it. Tom, you'd better buy this game the day it comes out - I didn't sell you those bongos and immediately regret it for nothing.

To all those doubting chumps (Dan, my dad, probably Tom), there's finally official word that Marlon Brando did indeed record voice-over for EA's upcoming Godfather game before he died. Oh, and James Caan and Robert Duvall are doing some too, in case you don't read the linked article. The budget on this game must be ridiculous.

So, I know this is a gaming discussion site, but sometimes we must divert our lives from such wonders as Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath and Mercenaries to watch silly movies on TV like The 6th Day with our friends named Dan. On this particularly fateful day (yesterday), a new favorite movie line ever was bestowed upon me, and I would like to share it with you.

To set the scene, the main bad guy (some jerk in a suit, head of an evil cloning company) has finally captured Arnold Schwarzenegger (who was cloned himself - or was he?) with the help of his henchman and henchwoman (who have both been killed a couple of times throughout the movie and been recloned). Bad guy is explaining to Arnold that he is actually the clone (!).

Bad guy: "[Henchgirl], how many times have you been cloned?"

Henchgirl (sassily): "I dunno, I've lost count."

Bad guy: "You see [Arnold], we keep track of what generation a clone is. We leave a small mark on the inside of your lower left eyelid."

Arnold: "!"

Henchgirl pulls down her eyelid to reveal four small marks.

Bad guy: "She's been cloned four times."

Movie goes on as usual, i.e. awesomely. Brilliance, no? She lost track of four!? Four fucking times? Man, best thing ever. Now, back to videogames.