G-pinions

Yes, this is episode three despite what I say in the intro (oops). We beat God of War 2 and Wario Smooth Moves this week, and have plenty to say! We also go over next week's releases, chat about focus in games and run through recent news as always.

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I was one of those kids who leaned into my turns in racing games. I'm not talking about the car itself - I'm talking about my physical, human body. I would lean to make my turns tighter. I would stand on my tiptoes so Mario could jump that extra inch more across the bottomless pit. I would knock my friend to the ground to prevent another Bo Jackson touchdown in Tecmo Bowl. As a kid, I may not have quite grasped the separation between controller and game. They were one in the same. A world where every action and word in real life somehow correlated to my on screen avatar's livelihood. Needless to say, people didn't like playing me in Mortal Kombat until long after the series drifted into irrelevance.

Have I mentioned how awesome Excite Truck is yet? All those gestures I forcefully weaned myself off through the years are back in full force. To make difficult turns, I actually move my whole body 90 degrees. I learn way back, head slamming into uncushioned sofa, when I need an extra bit of air for a wicked jump. I continually yell, "Whoa whoa whoa!" like my horse is on fire. And I love every second of it. Until I played Excite Truck last week, I feared that our Waggle Overlords were slowly going to turn my favorite hobby into a smelly cesspool of casual gamers and shallow games. Now? I wish Alex Ward would ditch that bloated Burnout 5 project and make a Wii racing game instead.

What makes Excite Truck so damn exciting? It's fast and completely ridiculous. The controls are simple because it's something we've all been practicing for our whole lives. The Wiimote stays on its side throughout the race, kind of like a white banana with gryro controls. Sure, it's sloppy, but would you rather be stuck with that Ubi Soft PSX racing game they ported to the Wii with the plastic steering wheel add-on? I didn't think so. So you turn the Wiimote like you're a mime with a prop, tilting the controller in the logical direction to make turns, get air or, if you're feeling low, keep your truck as close to the ground as possible. Your left hand calls forth turbo with a slap of the D pad and your right hand controls the gas and brake buttons. Guess which button you won't be using. Thankfully, there aren't any boring maneuvers like shifting gears or stopping your car to let glass carriers cross the road, though I would have loved a sniper scope option.



(Quick Sidenote - Red Octane, developer of Guitar Hero, had a pep rally last week where they cried out against games with complicated controls. The displayed a Dual Shock controller where every button was used. The Square was used for Turbo while the X button was a Sniper Scope. I would love to see this game.)

Back to Excite Truck, the game is all about speed and air. Fire should always be spewing out of your car as you frantically slam on the D pad. The game encourages crazy jumps, like every any good game should. The longer you stay suspended a mile above the ground, the quicker the turbo gauge refuels. Races consist of flying off jumps, slamming into lesser cars, and playing God: Day 1 as you deftly mold the earth to your liking. Didn't hear about that feature, did you? There are icons strewed around the track that act as tokens of creation. Nab one and watch as a flat road gives birth to a towering hill leading to the heavens. Or knock down a giant iceberg to reveal a sunken oil tanker that, you guessed it, needs to be jumped over. Races are extremely fast and different every time. It's just a fantastic experience all around.

And then there is the minimalist though highly enjoyable two player mode. Sure, it's just a one-on-one, no frills race to the finish. Or at least it would be if this wasn't Excite Truck. There is nothing quite like hitting a jump perfectly, flying 1900 feet through the air, and landing perfectly on the back of your slow driving friend. Joy of joys, to slam into the back of your buddy's car and propel them into an ancient redwood, an act that would bring a smile to even Princess Diana's eye.

Excite Truck is what I expected from the Wii when it was first announced. Accessible, fun but unplayable with a mere analog stick. It's all about tilting your body and yelling like a five-year-old again. Maybe Nintendo was on to something with this waggle wand of theirs.

God of War 2 (PS2) - There are only two appropriate responses to the news that GoW2 is coming out this week. The first and most charming would be, "Duh, I already had my first menage a trois." The second response that I would accept, and the one our very own Nick has shouted over and over again, is just as heart-warming, "God of War 2 is coming out THIS WEEK?" He even yelled in all caps. I think he bellowed those exact words two or three times during our last podcast. I really shouldn't have shoved all that cotton in his nose when he told me it would mess up his memory. Oh well, live and learn.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (XBLA) - How are you enjoying Worms? Did it make you smile when you first tried to toss a sheep onto a group of your invertebrate friends? Did you squeal with joy when the stupid mini-mule leaped over them and landed in a pool of the tears of his departed colleagues? I'm glad we can all find solace in wrecking the lives of the lowest species on Earth, even if it is one that has proven itself to ultimately be the most important. Wait a second, shouldn't I write a few words about TMNT? This is the big one. The XBLA game we've all been waiting for. It's that Turtles game we all played in the arcades 14 years ago. The game that taught us all that stealing pizza is always a good idea, even if our buddy has one sliver of health left. And you can relive all your memories for only $5. How can you possibly say no to that offer? I'll tell you what, if you download this game, I'll even let you play as Donatello. Deal?

Viva Pinata Demo (XBL) - I refuse to write about a portable Nazi killing game or its re-released big screen cousin. Instead, I will rave once more about this overlooked game. Viva Pinata is amazing. It is the most in-depth sim I have ever played on a console, and one of the cutest games ever to boot. Do you have a stone heart or something? This is not some cheesy demo either. It is practically the entire game. There's no time limit so feel free to catch pinatas and grow trees until you feel like actually compensating the fine folks at Rare. If you were too embarrassed to ask a clerk to retrieve a copy of this pastel paradise for you, now you can enjoy its candy goodness from the secret comfort of your own home. You have no excuse for not playing this amazing game now. Prove the skeptics wrong! The X360 audience demands more than just shooters!