Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Another blast from the past: Capcom edition
For the first time this year I actually have some good news. According to unconfirmed reports the movers are finally doing their job at some point today. No more sitting on the floor for me. I can now lay down in style on a coach made from the finest Egyptian cotton while I plow through Hotel Dusk. You didn't actually think I would switch over to a current generation console, did you? If there is one thing I learned from this horrible experience, it's that I am an old school gamer at heart. Give me a good NDS game over any of the current crop of generic first person shooters. You know what's even better than an old school game on a new age handheld? A vintage classic culled from the depths of some forgotten archive in the sky. If you loved my column on Dungeon Explorer, get ready for a whole new set of love spewed on games you've most likely never heard of and definitely haven't played. Say hello to Capcom's Classics Collection Volume 2. Clearly, they saved the real gems for the second installment.
Apparently, before Clover ever existed, before Resident Evil spun off into a dinosaur-crazed space opera, even before Street Fighter grew stale, Capcom was the leader in generic hack 'n slash adventures. You may remember Final Fight, the game that introduced Mike Haggar and his spinning fists to the unprepared world, but Capcom did not stop with that. If you consider Final Fight "old school" Capcom has three words for you: The Dark Ages. That's right, before dinosaurs roamed the Earth, King Arthur and his two most loyal knights were kicking butt all over England. Knights of the Round is a simplified version of one of the least thought provoking genres around, but it is still darn fun. And it's historically accurate. Thomas Malory, the foremost scholar of all things Arthur, chronicled his many battles against the legendary Tigers of England (why do you think the big cats are only found out East now?) as well as his arch nemesis: Tall Man. As Arthur's power grew so too did the variety of enemies he would face. It takes a certain amount of infamy to face the wrath of Mask Man. These and other enemies are all in Knights of the Round. As long as you aren't stuck with Sir "I am a lover not a fighter" Lancelot, you'll have a blast in this game.
And now I seamlessly segue into a classic you most certainly have never heard of: Three Wonders. This is even better than KotR. Why, you ask? Because it has three games in it, that's why. Now, I didn't actually play the third game in the set (a cooperative platformer) but Brendan and I not only played the other two, we finished them. I can say, with full certainty, that we are currently the only people in the world who could be considered masters in this fine game. One of the games is an ordinary side scrolling shooter. It plays like R Type, with a variety of weapons you constantly upgrade while defeating the forces of evil. It did use some rather, ahem, erotic imagery later in the game, but that is neither here nor there. It certainly won't be mentioned again on this site. Aside from the questionable material, it does one thing exceedingly well in an otherwise forgettable shooter: it lets you screw over your friend. Any co-op game where you can not only place knives in your good friend's back but right in his face as well, with a loud warning of what's coming, has to be fun, right? In this, you can steal your friend's power ups as soon as he dies. As the game is set on free play, meaning no amount of dying will keep you from battling the hideous end boss, the only real strategy comes from staying alive longer than your friend. When he dies, you reap the rewards. It's a life lesson. Another life lesson? I can't be trusted.
The other game in this three pack may not fit into the overall story arc, but is ridiculously fun in its own right. It's a single screen game in which you slide blocks into enemies. Seems simple, and it is, but it has one of the best names ever. Ready? It's called Don't Pull. Get it? Because you can only push the blocks! Oh man, that's great. There is also a secret power up that only professional Don't Pull players such as Brendan and I know about. But I'll let you in on the secret right here. Each level has three heart blocks. Sure, you can push them into enemies if you like. It's a crass but effective way of finished them off. But if you can somehow line up the three blocks, well, the fun begins. The game stops and enticing letters fill the screen. "Let's Dance!" the game commands. When you resume, the music has shifted to a funky beat and all the characters, from fire-breathing dragons to spineless slimes, are doing a jig. Pure entertainment. I almost felt bad squashing their quaking bodies and feasting on the protein rich food inside.
We only spent significant time with one more game on the collection, but I can say with full certainty that it is the best of the bunch. If you think Don't Pull is the perfect name for fun, check out this one: Quiz and Dragons. Makes you want to go back in time and market the hell out of this, right? Just think how different the world would be if Reign of Fire never existed while a medieval version of Jeopardy was taking over the Nielsens. For you see, much like Knights of the Round revealed the truth of England's fabled hero, Quiz and Dragons shows, without a doubt, that dragons didn't eat and char their victims. Rather, they tried to stump them with obscure 1970s television trivia. How about that? This is the only video rip-off of Trivial Pursuit that is actually worth playing. This game is undeniably fun. Your character - Wizard, Fighter, Amazon or Ninja - moves around on tiles as if you were playing a real board game. Instead of colors, which are boring at best, you land on extinct creatures. And there are more than just Dragons. You "fight" Magic Swords, Inn Keepers, Witches and even a Golem. And they all threaten you with knowledge. Oh, if only all wars could be fought on the dewy planes of the neo cortex.
I may have only played three games in this collection, but I can recommend this game, Capcom's Classics Collection Volume 2, to anyone who would rather have some fun than shake their arm like a fool or blow up Nazis for the three hundredth time. If you are ridiculously hardcore, you can unlock a Capcom-themed version of Quiz and Dragons. Mundane questions about the Cold War and long dead French authors have been replaced with extraordinary minutia from Capcom's extensive past. Can you name the Street Fighter character whose roundhouse kick is not a slide? Or the color suit Mega Man wears after defeating Crash Man? Better start studying.
Apparently, before Clover ever existed, before Resident Evil spun off into a dinosaur-crazed space opera, even before Street Fighter grew stale, Capcom was the leader in generic hack 'n slash adventures. You may remember Final Fight, the game that introduced Mike Haggar and his spinning fists to the unprepared world, but Capcom did not stop with that. If you consider Final Fight "old school" Capcom has three words for you: The Dark Ages. That's right, before dinosaurs roamed the Earth, King Arthur and his two most loyal knights were kicking butt all over England. Knights of the Round is a simplified version of one of the least thought provoking genres around, but it is still darn fun. And it's historically accurate. Thomas Malory, the foremost scholar of all things Arthur, chronicled his many battles against the legendary Tigers of England (why do you think the big cats are only found out East now?) as well as his arch nemesis: Tall Man. As Arthur's power grew so too did the variety of enemies he would face. It takes a certain amount of infamy to face the wrath of Mask Man. These and other enemies are all in Knights of the Round. As long as you aren't stuck with Sir "I am a lover not a fighter" Lancelot, you'll have a blast in this game.
And now I seamlessly segue into a classic you most certainly have never heard of: Three Wonders. This is even better than KotR. Why, you ask? Because it has three games in it, that's why. Now, I didn't actually play the third game in the set (a cooperative platformer) but Brendan and I not only played the other two, we finished them. I can say, with full certainty, that we are currently the only people in the world who could be considered masters in this fine game. One of the games is an ordinary side scrolling shooter. It plays like R Type, with a variety of weapons you constantly upgrade while defeating the forces of evil. It did use some rather, ahem, erotic imagery later in the game, but that is neither here nor there. It certainly won't be mentioned again on this site. Aside from the questionable material, it does one thing exceedingly well in an otherwise forgettable shooter: it lets you screw over your friend. Any co-op game where you can not only place knives in your good friend's back but right in his face as well, with a loud warning of what's coming, has to be fun, right? In this, you can steal your friend's power ups as soon as he dies. As the game is set on free play, meaning no amount of dying will keep you from battling the hideous end boss, the only real strategy comes from staying alive longer than your friend. When he dies, you reap the rewards. It's a life lesson. Another life lesson? I can't be trusted.
The other game in this three pack may not fit into the overall story arc, but is ridiculously fun in its own right. It's a single screen game in which you slide blocks into enemies. Seems simple, and it is, but it has one of the best names ever. Ready? It's called Don't Pull. Get it? Because you can only push the blocks! Oh man, that's great. There is also a secret power up that only professional Don't Pull players such as Brendan and I know about. But I'll let you in on the secret right here. Each level has three heart blocks. Sure, you can push them into enemies if you like. It's a crass but effective way of finished them off. But if you can somehow line up the three blocks, well, the fun begins. The game stops and enticing letters fill the screen. "Let's Dance!" the game commands. When you resume, the music has shifted to a funky beat and all the characters, from fire-breathing dragons to spineless slimes, are doing a jig. Pure entertainment. I almost felt bad squashing their quaking bodies and feasting on the protein rich food inside.
We only spent significant time with one more game on the collection, but I can say with full certainty that it is the best of the bunch. If you think Don't Pull is the perfect name for fun, check out this one: Quiz and Dragons. Makes you want to go back in time and market the hell out of this, right? Just think how different the world would be if Reign of Fire never existed while a medieval version of Jeopardy was taking over the Nielsens. For you see, much like Knights of the Round revealed the truth of England's fabled hero, Quiz and Dragons shows, without a doubt, that dragons didn't eat and char their victims. Rather, they tried to stump them with obscure 1970s television trivia. How about that? This is the only video rip-off of Trivial Pursuit that is actually worth playing. This game is undeniably fun. Your character - Wizard, Fighter, Amazon or Ninja - moves around on tiles as if you were playing a real board game. Instead of colors, which are boring at best, you land on extinct creatures. And there are more than just Dragons. You "fight" Magic Swords, Inn Keepers, Witches and even a Golem. And they all threaten you with knowledge. Oh, if only all wars could be fought on the dewy planes of the neo cortex.
I may have only played three games in this collection, but I can recommend this game, Capcom's Classics Collection Volume 2, to anyone who would rather have some fun than shake their arm like a fool or blow up Nazis for the three hundredth time. If you are ridiculously hardcore, you can unlock a Capcom-themed version of Quiz and Dragons. Mundane questions about the Cold War and long dead French authors have been replaced with extraordinary minutia from Capcom's extensive past. Can you name the Street Fighter character whose roundhouse kick is not a slide? Or the color suit Mega Man wears after defeating Crash Man? Better start studying.
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