G-pinions

Just a warning before you start reading - this post is going to be long and will lack any and all focus. Consider it a gift to you, my loyal reader, for putting up with all those short and concise posts through these 13 long months. More accurately, consider it a goodbye present. With Spring Break approaching in a mere four hours and twelve minutes from when this sentence is being typed, the only way one can celebrate such a momentous event is by ignoring a site they love. Put your pitchfork down for a second, I have perfectly valid reasons why this must be the case. First, I am spending my break in the not yet civilized city known as Libertyville. While a car and running water will be provided for me, I have neither a computer nor television to call my own. Not to mention the most recent video game system will be a musty, dusty and potentially rusty Intellivision. Combine my lack of available games with the arrival of two of my closest friends, currently residing in the nether regions of the Great Forty Eight, and you can see why I must turn my back on G-Pinions. So enjoy Nick's tasteful stylings until I return some time in the not too distant future.

I did warn you this would meander, did I not? Moving on to some good natured Halo 2 ribbing. Dare I post another Penny-Arcade comic? Oh, I dare:



Simply a classic Penny-Arcade comic. A bit of exaggeration mixed in with a smattering a truth. You'll laugh at the absurdity of being able to play Halo 2 while the controller rests elsewhere, and then you'll quietly nod as you read through Bungie's incomplete to do list. When all is said and done, you will sit back with a fine cigar and contemplate the comic further. While what they say is true, you may wonder why they insisted on ripping Halo:CE three years ago but have waiting until now to take a few shots at Halo 2. I don't remember their specific complaints with Halo:CE, other than the monotonous Campaign mode, but I do remember they frequently insulted it. Eventually, they played the multiplayer mode and all was forgiven, but for a few months they could say nothing but derogatory things about Halo:CE. As a launch title and probably the first major release ever for Bungie (unless you consider Myth "major" which no one does) Halo:CE was amazing. It has it's share of problems, even Bungie has admitted that, but considering its shortened development time it was an achievement that really deserves a slow clap.

Halo 2, however, was completely spared of PA's ridicule. This is the title they should have taken to task. Offering dual wielding and online after three years in development? Is this a joke? Maybe they were hanging out with Rockstar the whole time, seeing how to upgrade a game without really offering anything new. Of course, even GTA has more new features than Halo. Whoever they decided to model, possibly Capcom or CSI: Miami, they did an admirable job. Working at Bungie has to be the sweetest job there is right now - sit on your ass and do nothing while legions of fans build shrines and beautiful women peel Italian grapes.



There's a story floating around detailing EA's side of the story in the NFL license agreement. I have no interest in digging it up or really talking about it, but I do have this one quote to share. In regards to the complete lack of competition EA now faces with the deal: "The reality is, competition for Madden is much broader than that. For us, competition is Halo 2, Grand Theft Auto, or any of those games," Sitrin said."

I love how EA is trying to show they won't rest on their laurels by naming franchises that seemingly have. Makes me laugh at least.

Moving on to a game worth my precious words: Knights of the Old Republic 2.

First, I feel I should defend this title in the midst of ripping Halo 2 for offering nothing new. For you see, KotOR II offers a nearly identical experience to the first game. So why am I so hard on Halo 2, a game I ultimately really enjoyed, while I will eventually praise KotOR II as my favorite game from 2004? Simple, they are in different genres. An RPG is built on strong characters and an engrossing story. Gameplay has, and always will, take a back seat. Graphics and sound are also a mere compliment to the rest of the package. One is not expected to offer drastic upgrades in popular RPG franchises. Just look at the reaction the gaming community had to FFVIII. Think Square wishes they had left well enough alone?

Basically, the Sith Lords is the first Knights of the Old Republic with a different story and more interesting characters. And for that I couldn't be happier. While this title was supposedly rushed out the door (an 18 month development cycle will do that to a game... are you listening EA?) which means the tight story and interesting characters fall apart in the end (from what I've heard), at this point in the game, about 13 hours in, KotOR II not only is on par with the original, it actually surpasses it in every single way.



First of all, the story is much more interesting right now. I would get into the logistics but, since I went in to the game completely blind, I'll allow the same for my readers. What I can tell you is, while there is certainly an underlying adventure, much of the story is a semantics debate in what is right and wrong, and what defines a Jedi. I never realized how deep the Star Wars universe could be before this game. At one point I encountered someone from my past, and we had a conversation that lasted about thirty minutes. I'm not exaggerating either. She would reveal some plot point or her opinion on a matter, and I was given a list of ten responses with which to express my point of view. And the amount of things I could say was simply staggering. At one point I commented that I wasn't to blame for something, and the person talking to me simply twisted my words to insult me further. I turned to Tim at this point, who was dutifully watching me play, and said "That's not what I meant!" Then when I was given the chance to respond one of the choices was to call her out on her ignorance. Fantastic.

In addition to the story, the characters are much stronger this time around. As much as I loved to torment Carth and get ripped apart by Bastilla, they were one dimensional. I always knew that Bastilla would frown when I destroyed a helpless citizen, and Carth would cry when I said I would disembowel him. It was fun, yes, but it all feels so simple compared to KotOR II.

In KotOR II, my Jedi companion does not judge me, but guides me. My angry gunner companion has changed his feelings on what I am doing as we become closer. While he used to say "Why did we do that?" he now goes along with my judgment because he trusts me. It's a feeling of power and realism I have never before seen in a game. Each character responds differently to my actions because they are completely different beings. They have feelings and moods that can change at the drop of a hat just like I do. For all the talk that I would never like Fallout or Planescape, if this is what Obsedian has always been doing I see no reason why I wouldn't like those games as well. If this is the beginning of what I can expect in future RPGs, it's going to be mighty hard for Square to win me over again. The days of point and click interactive books are long over.

And with that I am out.

I'll tell you right now that I have no idea how well Brothers in Arms: Road to Hill 30 has sold thus far. I do work in a game store, and based on what we've sold, I'd say it's as much as the average new release. But no cold hard facts yet. I have a feeling though, a very strong feeling, that Ubisoft has dropped the ball yet again. They've released a really great game, probably the best of it's kind, with absolutely no anticipation or marketing for it. Two things have been proven in the last year and a half - that the most consistent developer these days is quite possibly French, and that said publisher doesn't know the first thing about selling games.

Let me tell you why I wasn't excited for this game: up until release, all media relating to the project had shown you doing the same damn thing in the same damn level. And there wasn't really anything particularly impressive about it, despite some pretty foliage and depth-of-focus effects on your gun when you aimed. It looked like every other war game, of which there are way too many of. But it was being published by Ubisoft, and developed by a team responsible for some solid ports (Half-Life to PS2, Halo to PC). So there was hope, but little anticipation.

All of a sudden, IGN had given the game a 9.3 and my pal Nadir who has solid taste in games was stark raving mad about it. And so it began, a completely fabricated, throbbing desire for the game. Nothing major, but I told myself I'd buy it when it was cheap - I like shooters, and I like good games. So I did. And the game is great indeed. I still haven't decided if the tactical focus is for me, but after a handful of mission I can stamp my State-certified G-Pinions Seal of Approval on it. It's intense - like, Resident Evil 4 intense. This isn't Call of Duty; there aren't a hundred soldiers running this way and that, and a dozen enemies to gun down at every turn of a corner. It's you and your diminutive squad versus the world. Well, the Germans, but yeah, it's rough. You have to play tactically, and you have to play defensively. There's no health to pick up, and after a couple shots you're done for. Same deal with your men. And when the lead starts to fly, so does the blood, the dirt, and the four-letter words. This is one of the most foul-mouthed games yet, but it doesn't feel unnatural for a second in a setting like this. The game looks amazing, sounds even better, and plays very...realistically. Things are loose, but not in an out-of-your-control way; just in a things-could-easily-go-wrong-at-any-second way. Ordering your squad around is easy and fun too, especially when you take verbal control of a tank.

I guess the main point of this post is to complain about how badly Ubisoft markets their games. There was so little hype surrounding this, and it's so well done and so polished. It happened with Sands of Time and BG&E, and it's been fairly consistent since. Here's an idea - every goddamned person in the world knows about the Splinter Cell series already - why not take half the marketing budget for Chaos Theory and divide it amongst your other games? They deserve it.

Ever since Electronic Arts stole the Marvel license away from Capcom the world has been abuzz with the thought of what this partnership would mean for gamers. At the time of the purchase, Marvel said they chose EA over Capcom because of EA's extensive cast of characters. This detail, combined with news that EA would head the development of a fighting game, lead to many jokes involving John Madden and Ty the Tasmanian Tiger getting sliced and stomped by Wolverine and Hulk. Within 24 hours, every gamer had made at least one joke about how they would love to control "Army Guy" or "Car Guy" in a fighting game, all while lamenting the fact that Mega Man would no longer be Dr. Doom's sparring buddy. Apparently, all our simple jokes were for naught. Marvel vs EA, whose real name will be revealed in the following paragraph, will feature brand new EA Super Heroes who will take on Marvel's brightest. I know this is painfully obvious, but it is incredibly sad to think that EA has been around for more than twenty years yet has not made one character worthy of being in a game filled with EA characters. You really have to go out of your way to be that incompetent.

And so, I give you the grand unveiling of...

Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects!

Instead of taking Capcom head-on with a 2D Marvel-themed fighter of their own, EA has gone the route of Powerstone and their own Def Jam series to create a fully 3D fighting title. When I first heard this news I was actually pretty excited. Imagine a huge, thriving metropolis. Towering skyscrapers litter the landscape while passing motorists drive to work. In the distance, there is a bridge and, I don't know, a baseball field. In the middle of this Wednesday afternoon calm, a thundering boom sends shock waves through the city. Gambit was playing poker with Bruce Banner and made the cards blow up just when he was about to lose his hat. A huge fight breaks out - Gambit calls for help from his fellow X-Patriots. Rogue and Nightcrawler bust on the scene to help Gambit before he gets smooshed by Hulk. The four rampage through the city, tearing up buildings, throwing cars and generally being mean.


An original EA Character.... meets Spider-Man

That game sounds fun. If you're having trouble picturing how it would work, combine what you know about Spider-Man 2 (the game, not the shitty movie) with the awesome War of the Monsters. A huge world with every element destructible. A chance to run and hide, to use the environment to your advantage, to fight like a real super hero would fight. A chance to swing through the city as Spider-Man or to slow Wolverine's fall by sticking your claws into a building. Professor X and Daredevil could fight it out in the battle of Don't-Call-Us-Cripples cripples. Picture this online. Picture an even larger city with 8 players duking it out. How about the Fantastic Four squaring off against Doctor Octopus, Dr. Doom and any other doctor you can think of. This is what a 3D super hero fighting game should be. This is what a good developer would do.

While this may actually be the case, early indication is that my imagination is much better than EA's. It seems that the idea of fighting it out in a sprawling metropolis has no chance of actually being the in the game. Instead, we'll see a much smaller arena, probably closer to what you'll find in Def Jam. I don't imagine you'll really be able to throw a building at your opponent, or swing around the city, or even tear up the streets. Instead of pushing the genre to its limits, we'll probably only see Powerstone with super heroes. And while a majority of the fights I mentioned could possibly still happen (albeit with less characters...) throw some lame EA characters into the mix.

It took me less than ten minutes to create what an ideal super hero fighting game would entail. Why hasn't someone made this yet? Why are Powerstone and War of the Monsters still the pinnacle of this genre? Why are developers so reluctant to push the envelope? Why did EA give this game to Nihilistic, the company that was fired by Blizzard for being too incompetent to make Starcraft: Ghost? Most of all, with the ridiculous potential this game exudes, how is anyone going to be able to stomach the purchase of the real title?

My Xbox is dead. I brought home a Conker DVD last week and was about to play the demo - something I said I wouldn't do before the game came out - only to find my Xbox refused to run it. I took it as a sign. Not only should I just wait a month until Conker is finally released, but I really shouldn't mess around with the delicate innards of my aging Xbox. So, it seems as though my days of gaming on the largest console known to man are all but over. I started KotOR II yesterday, which seems every bit as fantastic as the original, as a bon voyage to the system that treated me so well these past three years. Since I refuse to pay even a cent to fix Microsoft's mistake, and don't want to spend $50 on a new game only to find out it isn't able to run, I won't be buying any more Xbox games. After devoting hundreds of man hours creating two elaborate posts detailing why Jade Empire and the new Conker will be so exquisite, it seems I won't actually be able to purchase either of them. While I weep for a moment at the shock of not being able to play through the newest Rare game, I smile at the possibilities this opens.

I think owning three systems is too many. Ideally, I would like to own just one, but with erratic third party support and key developers spread firmly around, this is not something I would be able to do. However, with the Xbox out of the way, I need only worry about supporting my PlayStation 2 and Gamecube. And since I don't really play the PS2 much (I own 4 games for it... or is it 3?) this means I can finally turn my gaze fully towards the GC. I know Brendan is rolling his eyes at the thought of being stuck with a complete "failure," but this isn't a bad thing at all for me.



Take, for instance, a game like Geist. When it was announced almost three years ago, I let out a half-hearted "meh" and moved my attention to games that seemed like they would actually be cool. Though I would trust Nintendo with raising my baby or making my sandwich, the task of making a really good First Person Shooter seemed slightly beyond their reach. Prime is a fantastic game, but I just don't think I am mentally stable enough to traverse another deserted world. Try as N-Space did, Geist just didn't seem too fun. In theory, possessing bodies should be right up there with throwing them around with the power of your mind. But like Stubbs the Zombie, some things are just better on paper.

But now, as more details are coming to light, I'm actually getting excited about Geist. Shall I list the reasons why?

1) Development Time - Geist has been in development for more than three years. I have no idea exactly when it started, but I know this will be the third E3 it will be shown at. Most people would take this as a bad sign. You've seen games like Daikatana and Fable come out; games that may not have been bad, but certainly weren't worth the wait. But I come from a different school of thought. If you'll remember, Rare is my favorite developer. It took them two years and four months to make Conker: Live and Reloaded, and half of that is just a port. 3+ years of development time means that the game will be virtually flawless when it's released. No rush job towards the end, solid gameplay nestled inside a chewy, delicious great idea.



2) Protagonist - You play as a ghost. Sure, this can go right down to being theoretically great with no substance, but we're only talking theory now. This could be the second coming of Psi Ops for me. I'm sure there have been games that offered Psi powers in the past, but nothing as complete and fun as Psi Ops provided. I'm sure there have been games where you play as a ghost also, but Geist seems to take that to the proverbial "next level." Let your mind wander for a bit. Being able to play as a ghost, with no restrictions us normal humans face, being able to possess people, animals and objects at will... does it get any better than that? I hope not.

3) Adventure - I know, I already said I can't handle another Metroid title. I shouldn't be excited about having a ton of adventure mixed in to my first person shooting. But this sounds really fun. It has nothing to do with the backtracking shenanigans in Prime, but creative problem solving. For instance - you need to get inside a room but there is a keypad on the door. You don't know the combination to get in. What's a ghost to do? You can possess the keypad and cause it to shake a little, maybe shoot out some sparks. A nearby guard sees this and thinks "I wonder what the problem is." So he walks over and examines it. Not being a technician, he doesn't see a way to fix it, so he punches in the code to see if it still works. The door does open. Satisfied, he closes it and walks away. Now you know the code, though, and can possess someone to get inside. Fantastic!

But wait, it gets even cooler than jumping inside an electronic keypad. In order to actually possess humans, you need to get them in the right state of mind. So light a few candles, put on Kenny G (he's sexy, right?) and scare the hell out of them. Say, for instance, that you're dealing with someone who's terrified of spiders. Just jump into a hairy arachnid and do whatever a spider can to scare them. Or, if you want to be more creative than that, you could cause a box to fall down in a nearby room. When the person goes to investigate, jump into a frying pan and hit them upside the head. The possibilities are endless.



4) Multiplayer - Nothing is known about this yet, but I'm crossing my fingers. Metroid should have had a great four player mode, but completely screwed it up by making it standard deathmatch with lock-on. Ugh. Geist promises to do something different, taking advantage of your super powers, but the developers aren't talking yet. This could be amazingly fun. I just hope it has bots since some of my friends refuse to play a FPS on the GC. Lame.

5) That's it.

I got nothing else. Just seems like it could be a really cool game. Tune in to G-Pinions in June to see how it turned out.

Shock of all shocks. Turns out that the two most interesting things at GDC this year were PC games, not half-assed next-gen news or a somewhat underwhelming new Zelda trailer. Usually, you'd sooner find me scalding my retinas with hot coffee than playing or talking about PC games (maybe I'm just mad that I can't play Half-Life 2), but these are worth hearing about (and they could potentially be console games too). The first one comes from everyone's man-of-sheer-ambition, Peter Molyneux. Playing Molyneux's games are can be likened to ordering a pizza; having the person at the pizzeria describe exactly how and why it's going to be the best pizza ever made, a whole new kind of pizza even, and then having Lou Malnati's arrive at your door. It's really good goddamn pizza, but hell, it's still pizza. Read the whole article I linked to if you like, but please pay special attention to the last bit, the one about a project of his called "The Room". It's basically just a tech demo as it stands, but it seems like the type of thing that could be turned into a really fascinating "game". The kind of thing I expect some next-gen software to play around with, not just the same old ferret with a glossy new coat. Give it a read.

The second game comes from Sim-everything creator Will Wright. While The Sims might not be a particularly great game to everyone, you're a blathering moron if you don't respect it as incredibly forward-thinking game design. And, as usual, it seems his ambitions have grown exponentially larger with his newest project, Spore. So damn big, in fact, that there's no way I can summarize it into a couple of sentences. Just read the article. It's the kind of thing that makes your expectations for games grow just from reading about it. If he can pull it off, and I have little doubt, it could mark the the first big step in game design in quite some time. If not the biggest step ever. The way he envisions it's use of the internet - just brilliant. Just...read the article.