G-pinions

This time of year can be somewhat depressing for young Jews like myself, what with the lack of family, friends and free swag. So what did I spend yesterday eve doing? Why, getting my Super Nintendo working and all of my games cleaned and maintained, of course! Playing Midway's Arcade Treasures 2 recently and hearing Tom talk about the joys of FF1&2 got my old-school blood flowing a bit, and I figured it was time to fix what needed to be fixed. Nintendo makes some high-quality hardware, no doubt, but time, dust and microscopic evil Sega minions can wreak havoc on an unsuspecting young SNES. So I spent a good two hours cleaning and polishing connector pins and sticky cartridges, having about as much fun as a gamer can have contributing to the well-being of his collection. I've obtained my SNES games from all over the place, and I sometimes forget I have a pretty decent collection - Yoshi's Island, Super Mario RPG, FF2+3, Secret of Mana, Shadowrun, Super Contra 3, Castlevania IV, and of course the usuals, Zelda, Super Metroid, and that weird Super Mario World/Mario All-Stars hybrid (I love that sick freak).

I started the renewed vows celebration by popping in Super R-Type, one of the roughest mofos in the galaxy. It's weird how hard some older games are, without so much as a save ability, nevermind mid-level checkpoints. I guess people were more persistent back then - if a game frustrates me too much now I either relegate it to the back of my playing priority list or trade it in to stop it from taunting me. It's also pretty interesting how the whole notion of difficulty and learning curves have changed. Nowadays it's fairly easy to succeed at a basic level in any game, with a whole variety of other options to consider if you want to get the most out of it or beat it properly. Tom can hold his own at Halo, but I'm better than him because I account for reload time, recoil and shield regeneration more effectively; I doubt I'm much better at actually spraying bullets into an opponent, but learning the ins and outs of a game can help you get a lot more out of it. That might sound obvious, but I don't think that was the case with a lot of older games - you could kick ass at Donkey Kong Country, but you arguably wouldn't get any more out of it than someone picking it up for the first time. And then there's games like Norrath, which force you to instantly learn every nuance of the gameplay and item management or die. Anyhow, I just wanted to remark that me and Mario are back in business, celebrating the holidays together in style.

Tonight: Operation Fixo Genesiso (which has actually never worked). I'll be together with you soon, Kid Chameleon.

As anyone who has visited the internet's glorious gaming sites the past few days can attest, there is nothing going on in the industry right now. Heck, it's been almost 3 whole days since EA bought a company. Aside from various sites waving their virtual dicks in an attempt to gather internet traffic for their sometimes entertaining and usually controversial Best Of 2004 picks, there has been little reading material during these cold, dark days. So, I guess I have no choice but to weigh in on the thoughts of the various gaming editors with my own, superior, thoughts. Gamespot, for the most part, offered a pretty good show. While I have some beef with their winners, I'd rather talk about their choices. For each of the major systems, and N-Gage, they nominated five titles. After letting forumers argue for a week which game truly deserved to win, they handed out their oh so coveted prize. Novel idea, I know. What I found interesting was the almost systematic pounding of a virtual nail into my surprisingly hard head of what my favorite system is. Permit me to demonstrate.



These are the 10 games nominated for Best PlayStation and Xbox game of the year - Burnout, GTA: SA, Metal Gear Solid 3, Ratchet and Clank 3, World Soccer Winning Eleven 7 International (Buh?), Riddick, Gaiden, Halo, and Rallisport. Take a guess which game was nominated for both platforms. While I disagree, obviously, with the exclusion of Katamari Damacy, Psi Ops and NFL2K5, and I'm sure Viewtiful Joe 2 deserves to be on there as well, it seems like a solid enough list. Though I was downright shocked that KotOR 2 didn't get the nod over Rallisport. I swear, up until a month ago I thought the game was Railsport. Some kind of lame car-driving-on-six-inch-steel-rail driving game. Back to the point, even though they left off a number of deserving titles, it seems like the "main" games for their respective systems were chosen. Generally speaking, anyone who owns a PS2 will buy any game in the MGS and GTA franchises, and anyone with an Xbox will buy a Team Ninja developed game (Ninja Gaiden or Dead or Alive) and Halo.

What surprised me is that, of the 9 games nominated (if you couldn't guess, Burnout 3 was nominated for both systems) I own a grand total of... one game. While I most likely will play through Ratchet and Clank 3 and Ninja Gaiden at some point in the distant future, I never actually considered buying either of these games. If you're wondering, the only one of the nine I did buy was Halo 2.

Now, let's swing over to the Gamecube nominees - Pikmin, Metroid Prime: Echoes, Mario Tennis, Paper Mario and Baten Kaitos. Of those, I own one right now (Pikmin), but asked for three of them for Christmas. Though I didn't ask for BK:Lost Ocean Here I Come, I will either rent it, buy it, or ask a certain friend to "borrow" it from work so we can play through together. So, of the five best games released for the GC this year (and, once again, without VJ2 or Alien Hominid I'm not sure how complete it is) I will own 4 or 5 games.

Is there any wonder that my favorite system is clearly the Gamecube? Maybe some day I'll understand the appeal of games like GTA and Riddick, but right now I'm quite content playing my colorful, sugar coated ball of happiness.

Next topic!

I put some serious time in my brand new copy of Soul Calibur 2 tonight and boy am I happy. I have resisted buying it for so long because the DC version is about a quark away from being perfection. When I did play the sequel at friend's houses, I was left with a sour taste in my mouth. The game played virtually identical and looked much better, but somehow it wasn't as much fun. First of all, Soul Calibur was the first fully 3D fighter I had ever played. The novelty of being able to circle strafe at will made the game infinitely more fun than the 2.5D fighters available at the time, like the super boring Tekken. Also, I had played so many hours with the original, it was hard playing with any of the three standard controllers. The most horrible flaw of all: they took out the random select in team battles. I'm crossing my fingers that this is somehow an unlockable feature.

Anyway, now that I actually own the title, I feel really stupid for holding out for so long. As none of the versions available would ever be able to offer the control I desperately yearn for, I went with the one that featured Link. Did you read the part above this where I say I love Nintendo so very, very much? Then why are you surprised I chose awesome bad Link over ultra lame Spawn and that lame dude from Tekken? Of course, choosing the game with the coolest character means I also get the controller that really sucks for fighting games. Seriously, it might have been easier controlling this game with the bloody bongo drums. Big problem? Kind of. Insurmountable? Not really. Even though Nintendo went out of there way to design a control that was only really useful with their fighting game, Smash Bros. Melee, it is still possible to kick some butt in Soul Calibur 2 if you work at it. All it took was a horrible half hour where I tried desperately to learn the controls. Once I gave up on shrinky dink B completely, I was in the clear. Still, in the future, Nintendo needs to make controllers with uniform buttons and human sized D pads.

Am I really writing that I am enjoying Soul Calibur 2? If the first Soul Calibur is currently my fourth favorite game of all time, is it really news that the second one is good as well? Clearly not. The reason I am writing is that, after playing for about two hours, I came to the shocking realization that the characters I loved so very much in Soul Calibur have fallen from grace somehow. My two favorite characters in the DC classic were Taki, who Nick once referred to as "Boobie McTitties" or something nearly as nasty, and the lovely, though still fully fictional, Sophitia. But, thanks to the awful wonder that is the Gamecube pad, the artful fighting I employed with Taki is nearly impossible now. While I can still flip to and fro 90% of the time, it's difficult enough to hit the corresponding buttons together to force me to look for a new character. And Sophitia, who was so perfect in 1999, just doesn't have the goods anymore. Try as I might, I couldn't muster one truly entertaining battle from her. Blame it on rust or blame it on the horrible aging process, but Sophitia just isn't the girl she once was.

My new love, at least in the land of 3D fighters is concerned, is the shockingly awesome Talim. I say shocking because, in a world where every fighter carries a weapon larger than an otter, she somehow got stuck with a couple metal shin pads she wears on her forearms. I haven't done the appropriate research yet, but I am fairly certain she is not using a weapon at all. Even though her reach is non-existent, she is simply a joy to play as. Up close she can bop, pop and groove in a delicious deadly combination. Far away, she has a spirited lunge attack which does so much damage it hurts. I have only played around with her speedy moves of deaths for a few hours, so my skill with her is quite low. Still, even with only the slight knowledge I hold, I am able to string together some of the most beautiful combos the world as seen by Tom has ever had the pleasure of casting its unblinkable peepers on. Someday, I would either like to become the master of all things Talim or, and this is more realistic, watch someone else control her. Surely, seeing a skilled craftsman string together her tantalizing moves would bring a tear to my eyes.

With all this love being lavished on Talim, I fear the race for Best New Character Introduced This Generation is growing much tighter than I previously anticipated. From a clearly aesthetic standpoint, Jade clearly edges out the Asian hussy Talim. However, I would not be entirely opposed to a battle for the right to be named The Undisputed Champion of All New Characters.


With all that being said, there is still the matter of one returning Soul Calibur vet whose name I have not yet mentioned. Lizard Man, my first favorite character in SC, is still locked away in my copy of Soul Calibur 2. His moves were never all that great, but there was just something endearing about him. I guess I just love the idea of the Namco geniuses sitting around the table going "Ok, he's a half man, half lizard with a sword and shield. We can either name him Nipsey Russell Junior or Lizard Man."

Last bit of ramblings and then I'm done. Despite what many naysayers predicted, I finished Final Fantasy 1 the other day. I really enjoyed the game. This isn't saying much, but it is my second favorite Final Fantasy ever. Which means it is not quite as good as the almighty VII, but is better than FFIX. The thing is, FFI doesn't really do anything all that well. The story is simplistic. A baby with heavy drool could win most fights. The map is small enough that you're never lost for long. In fact, in almost every way, the game is far below par. But it's just really fun for some reason. I love the music - easily the best I've heard on the GBA. I love the simple graphics style. I love being able to level up while I wait at a red light. I guess you could say I love the game.

For some reason I can't quite grasp, the Gameboy Advance just seems made to play RPGs. There is just an amazing joy being able to bring this tiny world with you, where you can level up or purchase magic wherever you see fit. My one wish is for Square to forget about the DS for a moment and get to work porting the first 6 Final Fantasy games to the best portable around. You know you want to. Why port FFIII to the DS when I don't even own one?

For those who made it to the end of this post, may God have mercy on your soul.

"REDWOOD CITY, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Dec. 20, 2004--Electronic Arts (Nasdaq:ERTS - News) today announced an investment in international game developer and publisher UbiSoft Entertainment, headquartered in Rennes, France. The investment represents approximately 19.9 percent interest in the company -- shares purchased as a block from Talpa Beheer B.V. to be completed upon obtaining antitrust clearance from the U.S. government. Financial terms were not disclosed."

First Criterion and Renderware, then the fucking NFL license, now a fifth of one of the best developers around these days, Ubisoft. I've always understood how Tom can see EA as being an evil company, but not until now have I seen a glimpse of their true satanic nature for myself. I fear for the industry with things like this going on. I still won't condemn them completely until they start regularly making/publishing bad games, but if they fuck up Batman I just might have to crack some skulls.

Yeah, I finally finished Halo 2 a couple of nights ago. Why did it take so long? Because the online multiplayer is just that damn good, it's near impossible to play campaign when you turn on your Xbox unless your internet is down. Literally - I finished it on a night when Comcast was pulling their usual bullshit of shutting down my cable and internet for a couple of hours. Though I'd love to talk about all my multiplayer adventures and most glorious moments within, this is a post about single-player, a mode that I wish weren't so damn controversial. Go to any gaming message board and you'll no doubt come across a dozen hateful threads condemning the game and it's ending, and whining with the disappointment of a thousand unchanged babies.

The thing is - and this is key to what got lost amongst all the hype - it's Halo 2. It's not some grandiose, revolutionary concept from a distant future that somehow got whittled down into a videogame and found release in 2004. Sure, I was as excited as anyone else and rode the hype train like a fucking mad conductor, but I wasn't disappointed. Halo wasn't that much better than Marathon or Myth, it was just an evolution; "Combat Evolved" indeed - from their earlier games. And It's arguably not even as good as a handful of other consoles FPSes. Still, even if it was your favorite game of all time, I can't see how you'd be disappointed with Halo 2. It's more of the same, only longer, with better graphics, better music, and less backtracking. It's doesn't do anything new or innovative (literally, not one thing), but it's entertaining throughout with some truly great moments. Again, it's Halo 2.

So while I definitely enjoyed it, a handful of things pissed me off (just like any other, mortal game). In fact, it was mostly one thing - the egregious misuse of your teammates and their A.I. They're really helpful in battle, and can even drive you around in a vehicle reasonably well. Problem is, it's hardly worth trying to keep them alive since they won't goddamn take orders or do intelligent things when you really need them to. I spend a while keeping two teammates alive riding on the side of my scorpion, only to have them not follow me on foot when I reached a tank-inaccessible point. They just sat there on the side of the tank like a couple of brain morons, no more useful than a kick in the spleen. This happened a lot, unfortunately - I'd fight my ass off and equip my boys right just to have them suddenly not follow me into certain danger. They'd just stop and stand there, and there was not a damn thing I could do about it short of beating them about the face and torso. It's really frustrating when it happens, and fairly ridiculous considering the intelligence and tenacity you get attacked with in Legendary.

Another problem I had was (quasi-spoiler warning) not always playing as Master Chief. You play as...someone else, for about half of the levels, which really just took me out of the characters and story (which were way too ambitious to begin with). This other character plays almost identically as well, which just makes the whole thing seem pointless. It's a fine idea, but as with many other things the series has become known for, it's underdeveloped. Why couldn't they just fight alongside one another? The rest of the issues are minor, some of which haven't changed much since the first game - some areas and enemies are really tough until you find a specific (and usually cheap) solution, at which point they become pushovers, dual-wielding is more of a gimmick and isn't necessary to succeed at all, the best enemy types and vehicles aren't used enough, etc.

Things that are great? It's a Halo game, so it feels great. Grenades are fun and useful. It looks great - I died at several points from admiring the scenery. Much has been made of the soundtrack, but it truly is wonderful - second to Katamari all-time (though it couldn't be more different). The cutscenes are sweet, even with their weird graphical glitches. The vehicles are all great and add a lot to the game. It's Halo 2. If you played the first game you'll know why the series is great but flawed, and not much has changed. I'm happy I enjoyed it as much as I did, and now I'm periodically tackling the inconceivably difficult Legendary mode. So, one month and ten days later, I give my stamp of approval.