G-pinions

I haven't played my 360 in a week or so, but I have a damn good reason. Well, a reason that's not exclusively Animal Crossing. Dragon Quest 8 is the most charming, subtly addictive game that I've played in a while. I'm not a big RPG guy for the most part; Final Fantasy VIII was pretty much the zenith of the genre in every regard from what I've played, and I haven't strayed too far from the series since. I mean, I do own several (plenty) others that I'll play when I'm old and grey (or possibly sooner), but this is the first non-FF RPG I've bought anywhere near it's release AND actually played, perhaps ever. And it's great.

It's very traditional, very simple, and completely compelling. I usually despise Toriyama's art, but WOW are this world and it's occupants completely gorgeous. There aren't any throwaway characters - every enemy and NPC is unique and easy on the eyes, as are your characters (especially Jessica, which I'm sure you've heard). Just walking around the towns and world in-between is breathtaking and always interesting. Just like the creatures, every bag of grain, rock and cupboard is colorful and well-modeled. So yeah, the game looks great. In fact, the only thing better than the look and design is the soundtrack, which is fully-orchestrated (take that, Japanese release!) and god. damn. stunning. Just behind Halo 2 and Katamari, probably my favorite game soundtrack ever. And I'm only five hours into the game.

I'm actually more or less done talking about it for now, I just wanted to mention that I'm playing it and that it's fantastic. Some call the gameplay archaic, I call it charmingly rustic. For anyone who has enjoyed an RPG in the last decade, I can't see how you wouldn't adore this.

The PlayStation Portable is an utterly baffling concept to me. I know it's only been out a year (in Japan) so judging its sad lineup of games is not fair quite yet, but I truly believe it will never be a haven for great, original titles. Why? Because Sony tried to do way too much in order to edge Nintendo in the handheld world, but inadvertently shot themselves squarely in both feet. Tell me if you can find a major flaw in my logic because I honestly do not see how the PSP can possibly be a creative success.

First of all, the PSP is about as powerful as the PS2. There are some things that can be done better on the handheld and vice versa, but that's not important. The PSP is essentially a portable PS2, albeit with less buttons, one less stick and a smaller medium. Because it contains the same basic chipset as the PS2 and gamers expect it to produce graphics comparable to what we've been playing in our living rooms for the past five years, the development cost of games is roughly equal to that of a PS2 title. However, there are about 95 million less PSPs than PS2s. Do you see the problem? Even when you consider how many games compete for shelf space and gamer's attention on the PS2, you're still better off making a game for that uber-console rather than fight for the small userbase of the PSP. This is a major problem.

Because of this, the majority of the games on the PSP are just ports of current games or dumbed-down versions of console hits. The best games on the systems are actually 2D titles that could have been made for the GBA if the developer chose to. Lumines and Exit are both fairly simple, and therefore cheap, games that use only a fraction of the power Sony crammed in the box. When big time developers like Rockstar and Konami are asked to bring their console blockbusters to the portable world, they create a smaller, cheaper version of the games people know and love. Metal Gear Ac!d is a card battle game that wouldn't have caused even a ripple if the Metal Gear tag hadn't been slapped on. Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories reuses the city from GTA3 with some of the features from Vice City. The most notable improvement was a multiplayer mode that was shamefully lacking in the console titles. Even this came with a caveat, though: two systems and two copies of the game required for fun. Still, these are good portable games that would never have succeded in the console world, and yet they still retailed for $50.

I understand that modeling a handheld after a console system has been done before. The GBA is just a portable SNES with less buttons. And it also has many ports along with 3rd party shovel ware. However, the games never cost $50. The system did not cost $250. It was not forcing developers to choose if they wanted to make games for the Gamecube or GBA. The PSP is in direct competition with the PS2 - both in consumer dollars and in titles being developed for it. The latest example of this is Take Two's announcement, however cryptic, that GTA: LCS would come to the PS2 this year. Apparently, even though they made a half-assed version of GTA that took way less time to make than an original title, they still couldn't pull in the cash they expected with such a small user base. They are forced to bring it to a larger group of potential buyers to recoup their costs.

I don't think every system needs to do something completely unique like the Nintendo DS does. I just don't think it's a good idea to compete with current consoles. I understand that for some people just being able to play their favorite titles on a portable system is reason enough for the PSP to exist. And I do not begrudge them their fun. I am merely saying that from a creative outlook, there will never be a surplus of great, original titles on the PSP. It is simply not cost effective for developers to choose to make a PSP title instead of a PS2 one.

I apologize for interrupting the beginning of the belated year-end columns, but I'm fairly peeved at the fighting genre right now. Obviously this was prompted by Dead or Alive 4, which I picked up for my 360 Friday night. I will say that the game is fun, and that I've enjoyed almost all of what I've played thus far. But GOD DAMN is this genre stagnant. It's geared entirely to hardcore fans of the respective series, and non-gamers who just like to whip the piss out of each other. For both of those extremes, I can completely respect an effort such as DOA4. It looks great, animates almost perfectly, has a lot of character, and is simple to pick up but (incredibly) tough to master. That last one is the problem though - it's simple to pick up in that you can almost button-mash your way to victory against the computer (and your friends) half the time, and feel like you're making progress doing so. But you're not. Beyond a point that arrives all too quickly, you're learning nothing. The learning curve just stops, and continues in the distance, where only fighting game fanatics can touch it. After getting beat down by the final boss two dozen times while playing as a random character, I decided I'd had enough. I wasn't making progress, I hadn't been taught a thing (besides "have faster reflexes") and I wasn't enjoying myself. When you win at that point, you just breath a sigh of relief and thank your luck that she didn't teleport behind you and snap your neck for the eighth time; there's no pride for actually doing anything to avoid it yourself.

And I'm not just bad at this, as you may understandably postulate. I played the hell of out Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat and their myriad iterations in the arcades, and learnt the ridiculous move lists like everyone else. I even managed to get a decent hold of the rock-paper-scissors mechanic that most 3D fighters use, and managed to enjoy the Virtua Fighter and Soul Caliber series. But I'm fed up with how unforgiving it all is, and DOA4 is perhaps the most glaring example of that yet. As I said, you can still almost button mash (not so much mash as input random buttons and directions) your way to victory, but DOA4 still starts out at a much higher difficultly than most fighting games. So by the time you're at the end of the story with a character you're not 100% comfortable/lucky with (which is all of them) it just becomes grueling. Even when I force myself to learn the ever-awkward counters and reversals, it's not assured that I'll be able to fight my way past a randomly difficult opponent.

Really, the entire genre needs to die, and be reborn as a series of truly represented fighting games. I don't want to play as other characters, I want to play as me. I want to create my character as a simple man, and learn from a series of other characters how to fight. I don't want to be them, I want to teach myself to fight like them, if I so desire. I want to be able to subtly change my fighting style for an upcoming opponent, knowing my strengths will play to his weaknesses. I also want it to control like I AM ACTUALLY FIGHTING, not making split-second suggestions as to whether my avatar should or should not throw his forward punch, that looks exactly the same every time. Fight Night of all things did a really great job of making punching feel like punching, and the variations feel like variations. And while we're stuck in this era of analog sticks and buttons, I can only hope for so much.

But is it wrong to dream of a game where no two movements are the same, where physics actually matter, and where being organic takes precedence over being possible to master? I look at the evolution of some genres, from Mario to Jumping Flash to Ratchet and Clank, from Wolfenstein to System Shock to Halo, and then I look at Street Fighter (the original) next to DOA, and the lack of fundamental differences are almost embarrassing. Yes, DOA4 is passionately made, well presented and technically proficient, but why one would spend hours alone with the game is something only specific fans of the series can communicate or appreciate. It's a genre direly in need of a revolution, whether anyone wants to acknowledge it or not.

I have no idea what makes January first such a special day, but the arbitrary beginning of a new year is reason enough to churn out a few posts remembering gaming past. I thought long and hard, maybe even for a full two minutes, trying to think of some category that has yet to be dissected by some enterprising site. It's hard to compete when standard categories - like best game and graphics - are done by everyone with a keyboard. And then I think about trying something ridiculous but only need to look at Gamespot's Best Use of Sweat to see the problem in that. If the standard categories are all covered (and should be on this site as well in the coming days) and the bottom of the barrel has already been swept clean, what chance is there to breathe some life into these tired awards? I have one idea...

I present to you:

The Best Game of 2004 That I Didn't Actually Play Until 2005. A completely arbitrary award that no one will be able to argue with since only I know what I actually played and didn't play. So, without further ado, I present my top three games, in ascending order, for the first, and only, time this award will ever be issued.

Drum Roll Please!

#3) Ribbit King (Gamecube)

There are certain games that just scream "Tom Game!" These may not be the best game around, but it's obvious that, if I get my hands on them, I will absolutely love their tasty silicon. They come in all shapes and sizes, but one thing remains constant - they are utterly ridiculous. The gameplay may be shoddy and even I admit that they probably aren't worth more than $10, but the unbridled joy is most certainly there. Other titles that are most assuredly "Tom Games" are It's Mr. Pants, with an art design that looks like they gave free reign to an epileptic 10-year-old with a crayon, and Adventures of Cookies and Cream, which proves that if you combine a ridiculous premise with cooperative play you may just have a Hall of Fame candidate for my list of favorite games.



But I digress. I'm supposed to be talking about Ribbit King. Basically, this is like a simplified Hot Shots Golf (I didn't think it was possible either) with courses that are filled to the brim with zany obstacles. The old school formula of getting in the hole before your competitor is thankfully disposed of. Instead you have to score more points. Trying to explain how scoring works certainly takes some of the joy away from this magic title, but I'm sure most people aren't familiar with the premise. Basically, every obstacle either gives you points or takes them away. But it's much deeper than that - the obstacles themselves actually move you around the level as well. For instance, you can hit your frog (it is Ribbit King, after all) into a river, which causes him to swim in whatever direction he's facing. You'll get 1 point per stroke, and then more depending on what bank he arrives. From there you end up in the mouths of vicious worms, who swallow you up only to toss you unceremoniously away, land on mammoth skins stretched taut over a hole to catapult you, conveyor belts to ride, birds to carry you, fire to burn you, and, if you eventually chose, a hole to drop down.

What makes this game such a joy is the sheer randomness of every hit. For instance, in the ice world, you'll have to estimate how far you'll slide. If you guess right, you can land on a target that gives you 100 extra points. Hopefully, after getting those points, a fly will be nearby. Seeing as you're a frog, you'll automatically jump to catch it. Your jump may take you farther than expected, placing you in the center of a cyclone. You'll shake the stick vigorously, fly out, land in some water, swim to land, and hop on a pad that will give you a power up to use on your next turn. Obviously not every turn is this ridiculous, but every time you hit the frog there is the distinct possibility it will just be.

This is one of the few games that I don't even try to win. Sure, I'll get as many points as possible, but I'll avoid the hole if I can. You get 8 strokes to finish each hole and I make sure I see as much of the course as possible in that time. Unfortunately, this is a short game, with only about 24 holes, and would be awfully tough to play single player. But it is cheap, so if you have a friend with a crazy sense of humor, this is a fantastic game.

#2) Daigasso! Band Brothers (Nintendo DS)



This was actually a launch title for the Nintendo DS in Japan. Nintendo of America, realizing it is amazing and unlike anything else out there, quickly announced an American name - Jam with the Band - which many believed would eventually lead to a US release. Unfortunately, it is now 2006 and this game still doesn't have a release date. Darn shame. This is the best rhythm game I have ever played.

Like just about every thing else in the genre, a stream of notes fly by and you have to hit the corresponding button at the appropriate moment to make beautiful music. Ho hum, right? Did you really think this would edge the immortal Ribbit King for my second slot if this was ho hum? There is a reason this is my first ever import title (though Tobal 2 came close) and, it is so good, I would buy it again if it ever comes to our open arms.

The first thing that makes this so good to me is that, unlike most rhythm games, you actually are playing an instrument. No matter when you hit the buttons a certain sound is produced. This means you can improvise if you like, supplying your own devilish guitar work to the song. Also, if you are striving for perfection, you hear every mistake you make. Unlike Guitar Hero, which doesn't allow you to jam as you wish, Band Brothers actually replicates playing an instrument.

Furthermore, there are over 50 different instruments available. There are different keyboards, guitars and drums to choose from, so you aren't just drumming along to Children's Songs over and over like the Donkey Konga experience. And since each instrument is accurately represent in these songs that means sometimes it will be almost boring. Sometimes you'll just hold down a bass note for a while and listen to the guitar play something fancy. Sometimes the song will play on but your drumsticks will be silent. It's like playing a real song - you aren't always the star.

And that's not even the best part: this is an 8 player game - with only one cart! I've only played two player so far, you can guess who my band mate was, but it was a complete blast. Since scoring doesn't really matter, Nick as able to do what he pleases on the drums while I go crazy Elton style on my keyboard. This is the first game I've played that actually replicates what it's like to be in a band, to have to struggle with a bad bassist, to get everything right just once and feel like a superstar.

But wait, there's even more. This has the most in-depth music creation editor ever seen in a game. All the songs are done in midi and, after you master amateur mode, a professional editor is unlocked that essentially lets you create any song you can imagine. You have all 50 instruments at your disposal and you can put up to 8 of them in one song. You are given a sheet of music and you decide what notes are played, where the rests go, and what key it comes out it. Extremely difficult, yes, but so in-depth that I could Google for a Pearl Jam song sheet and easily enter it in the game. I have never seen anything like this before. It's so overwhelming I haven't actually composed anything yet, but once I get the nerve I'm going to orchestrate something great. I may simply start with a Mega Man 2 classic, but I'd love to make my own, original songs.



Like so much software on the NDS, this is not simply a game. This is a music creation tool. This is something that could stimulate the mind of a young child. This is the perfect title to take with you on the road, when your piano will simply not fit in the overhead bin. It is still a video game, but any song you create in this game can be accurately played in the real world by just reading the music.

#1 Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal (PlayStation 2)

I love games with puns in the title.



After I went on and on about the last two games, I am actually completely blank on what to write about R&C3. Simply put - this is the best 3D platformer ever made. In fact, the archaic collect-a-thon that defined early 3D platformers seems completely obsolete now that Ratchet exists. Huge worlds, non-stop action, little backtracking, tons of secrets... this game has it all. Best of all, it has constant rewards as well. I decided that the main thing that attracts me to a game, that makes me wake up early to fire it up again, is the ability to earn something for even playing just a little bit. Ratchet and Clank, with a heavy duty arsenal of upgradeable weapons, does just that. I destroy enemies not only because I get stuff from them but because the controls are so perfect and the guns so imaginative that it's actually fun throughout. This is a concept few games fully realize. R&C3 is one of the best games of 2004, one of the top 5 platformers I have ever played, and one of the best games of this, or any, generation. Just imagine how much I'd love it if I had played the multiplayer mode...