Saturday, March 06, 2004
Won't Get Fooled Again
Yesterday, while browsing Gamespot, a site a rarely venture to, I happened upon a preview of the multiplayer mode of Splinter Cell: Pandora's Tomorrow. And I got a little excited...
You should know that I hated the first Splinter Cell. I got the first one after reading every publication drool over it and Penny Arcade name it the 2nd best game of 2002. I couldn't resist buying it. But, when I finally started playing it I was bored out of my mind. I hate stealth games. I hate stealth games more than I hate story in video games.
I hate the lack of action. I hate having to crawl along a pipe or sneak up on someone from behind to get anywhere. I hate how, if I do get caught, there is no way I'll be able to escape. I hate the lack of action. I want to run and jump and kill people.
In certain games, like the all mighty Goldeneye, stealth can work. Mostly because you don't need to be stealthy to win. While it's very cool to be able to sneak up on a sleeping Russian soldier and shoot him point blank in the head, if you do get caught chances are you'll be able to kill the approaching troops faster than they'll be able to kill you. At its core, Goldeneye is still an action game, albeit with stealth elements.
Back in 1999 I played Metal Gear Solid for the first time and had a similar feeling to when I played Splinter Cell. The gameplay seemed solid enough, and it was cool knocking on walls and using boxes as cover, but the combat skills Solid Snake possessed were far too limited to make actual combat fun and useful, which meant a whole lot of sneaking around with no action.
Anyway, when I got Splinter Cell last year I was horrified to see that it was everything I hated in MGS, times a million. The game was so difficult and unforgiving when spotted it sucked the fun right out of the game. I pretty much gave up after a couple hours of frustrated game play.
But now, after reading about the online mode of Splinter Cell 2, I'm getting a little exciting again. But I know I should. It sounds amazing though. 2 on 2 gameplay. Spies versus mercenaries. Two basic objectives that stand between winning and losing. It just seems like it would have enough action to keep me happy while including a ton of cool stealthy touches, like dust falling from the ceiling tiles when a spy is crawling through the air vents.
But I know if I do end up buying this game it will lead to nothing but frustration. I hate the way Splinter Cell controls. It felt like a next generation version of Tomb Raider. A wide assortment of moves that were a pain in the ass to pull off because of choppy controls. And I know that it would be hard to get a game with 3 people at random who really know what they're doing and are good. Can you imagine how brutal a 2 on 2 game would be if you're partner sucked? If he refused to work as a team? If he continually gave away his position? Unless you're teamed up with a friend against two other people who are friends, I can't imagine this game actually working.
Anyway, I guess I'm just frustrated at this whole idea. It sounds like such a great game, but I know there are just too many potential flaws to make this game worth playing. Even if they cleaned up the controls and insured a competent teammate, two things I doubt will happen, there will probably be another fatal problem that keeps this game in line with the Metal Gear series and the first Splinter Cell.
You should know that I hated the first Splinter Cell. I got the first one after reading every publication drool over it and Penny Arcade name it the 2nd best game of 2002. I couldn't resist buying it. But, when I finally started playing it I was bored out of my mind. I hate stealth games. I hate stealth games more than I hate story in video games.
I hate the lack of action. I hate having to crawl along a pipe or sneak up on someone from behind to get anywhere. I hate how, if I do get caught, there is no way I'll be able to escape. I hate the lack of action. I want to run and jump and kill people.
In certain games, like the all mighty Goldeneye, stealth can work. Mostly because you don't need to be stealthy to win. While it's very cool to be able to sneak up on a sleeping Russian soldier and shoot him point blank in the head, if you do get caught chances are you'll be able to kill the approaching troops faster than they'll be able to kill you. At its core, Goldeneye is still an action game, albeit with stealth elements.
Back in 1999 I played Metal Gear Solid for the first time and had a similar feeling to when I played Splinter Cell. The gameplay seemed solid enough, and it was cool knocking on walls and using boxes as cover, but the combat skills Solid Snake possessed were far too limited to make actual combat fun and useful, which meant a whole lot of sneaking around with no action.
Anyway, when I got Splinter Cell last year I was horrified to see that it was everything I hated in MGS, times a million. The game was so difficult and unforgiving when spotted it sucked the fun right out of the game. I pretty much gave up after a couple hours of frustrated game play.
But now, after reading about the online mode of Splinter Cell 2, I'm getting a little exciting again. But I know I should. It sounds amazing though. 2 on 2 gameplay. Spies versus mercenaries. Two basic objectives that stand between winning and losing. It just seems like it would have enough action to keep me happy while including a ton of cool stealthy touches, like dust falling from the ceiling tiles when a spy is crawling through the air vents.
But I know if I do end up buying this game it will lead to nothing but frustration. I hate the way Splinter Cell controls. It felt like a next generation version of Tomb Raider. A wide assortment of moves that were a pain in the ass to pull off because of choppy controls. And I know that it would be hard to get a game with 3 people at random who really know what they're doing and are good. Can you imagine how brutal a 2 on 2 game would be if you're partner sucked? If he refused to work as a team? If he continually gave away his position? Unless you're teamed up with a friend against two other people who are friends, I can't imagine this game actually working.
Anyway, I guess I'm just frustrated at this whole idea. It sounds like such a great game, but I know there are just too many potential flaws to make this game worth playing. Even if they cleaned up the controls and insured a competent teammate, two things I doubt will happen, there will probably be another fatal problem that keeps this game in line with the Metal Gear series and the first Splinter Cell.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Status Update
Just to let everyone know (all ~17 of our readers), I've found someone to do the techie footwork for the site, and I'm currently working on the design for it. This should be a real site (www.g-pinions.com, nach) within the month. Word.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
The hazards of gaming
We've all heard about how too much masturbation can make you blind and if you don't eat your fruits you'll get scurvy. But what kind of harm can a video game cause? I mean physical harm since we all know it turns us into bloodthirsty killers. But that only hurts the wimps who don't play games. Well, I found out the hard way that video games can hurt.
There I was, minding my own business, playing another rousing, one player showdown of Mario Party 4. It's the first Mario Party I ever bought - even though I own an N64, 4 controllers and a number of willing friends - so I'm milking the fun for all it's worth. Some might laugh and say "Tom, why are you playing alone? You just said you own plenty of gaming friends." To that I would say, "I do and I don't." Also, you can earn cool stuff, like a brand new board, by playing the Story mode.
However, as fun as it can be having a party by yourself... it's really frickin' boring. I have the game going as fast as possible, turning the text speed to fast and skipping the pre mini game explanations, but damned if the computer still doesn't take multiple minutes to take their turn. Those minutes were time I couldn't afford to waste. So, in a game where I was the 4th player rolling, I usually got up and walked around some while the first 3 players took their turn.
On one occasion, I ventured to the kitchen. My pasta was all done cooking so I was putting some sauce and cheese on it, not to mention pouring myself a healthy glass of milk (2% Deans, of course). I figured "Hey, it's not my turn, I can take my sweet time while the computer does its thing." How wrong I was.
I casually looked up at one point and saw the screen has faded to white. "That's odd" I thought, "I don't remember there being a white screen between turns." In the next second, it all makes sense. The stupid computer had landed on a bomb square, forcing an impromptu mini game. Winner gets over 100 coins. I was still in the kitchen when I saw that a mini game had started. It's the game where there is a curvy line in front of you and you have to trace the line as closely as possible. There wasn't a second to lose.
Flash back 5 days earlier. Tim, Dan, Nick and I are playing the same game, Mario Party 4. The cables behind my GC are tangled up, which means the GC has to stay nestled under my TV. The extra short cord is not long enough to reach my couch, so Nick is forced to move the couch about 6 inches closer to the TV. The couch now rests a rather uncomfortable 6 inches away from the heavy, wooden table in front of the TV.
Back to the present. I saw that a game had started and I couldn’t afford to lose. So, with fork in my mouth (horizontally of course, I'm not stupid) I raced to the couch. It's about 20 feet away, but I probably got all the way there in a second. Maybe less. We'll say half a second. I'm mad fast when I need to be. Did I ever mention that my super power is running unbelievably fast for short distances? I'm like an out of shape Flash I am.
So, I was sprinting to the couch, my only concern was getting the controller in my hand. In one smooth motion I pushed off my soft, carpeted floor with my right leg, propelling me a good 4 feet off the ground. I sailed over the back of the couch with ease. My right arm stretching out, in mid air, to grab the controller resting on the ground. The mini game was about to start; I had no time to lose.
Unfortunately, the cushion of the couch was not as solidly locked on as I had anticipated. As my left foot hit the cushion, I could feel it slide off. There was nothing I could do, though. My right leg hit the ground first and I grabbed the controller. My left leg was still moving at full speed, however. It actually gained some momentum as the cushion, leg attacked, fell to the ground. My leg, specifically my knee, slammed into the table. I heard a loud crash, but as the mini game had started, I felt nothing.
A minute later, reveling in a hard fought victory, I stood to bring my food from the kitchen. My leg buckled. Apparently, throwing your knee full speed into a table really, really hurts.
Anyway, the moral of the lesson is to keep your couch a safe distance from the table at all times. I can't touch or bend my knee for a few days, but it was worth it to see the look on that bastard Wario's face.
There I was, minding my own business, playing another rousing, one player showdown of Mario Party 4. It's the first Mario Party I ever bought - even though I own an N64, 4 controllers and a number of willing friends - so I'm milking the fun for all it's worth. Some might laugh and say "Tom, why are you playing alone? You just said you own plenty of gaming friends." To that I would say, "I do and I don't." Also, you can earn cool stuff, like a brand new board, by playing the Story mode.
However, as fun as it can be having a party by yourself... it's really frickin' boring. I have the game going as fast as possible, turning the text speed to fast and skipping the pre mini game explanations, but damned if the computer still doesn't take multiple minutes to take their turn. Those minutes were time I couldn't afford to waste. So, in a game where I was the 4th player rolling, I usually got up and walked around some while the first 3 players took their turn.
On one occasion, I ventured to the kitchen. My pasta was all done cooking so I was putting some sauce and cheese on it, not to mention pouring myself a healthy glass of milk (2% Deans, of course). I figured "Hey, it's not my turn, I can take my sweet time while the computer does its thing." How wrong I was.
I casually looked up at one point and saw the screen has faded to white. "That's odd" I thought, "I don't remember there being a white screen between turns." In the next second, it all makes sense. The stupid computer had landed on a bomb square, forcing an impromptu mini game. Winner gets over 100 coins. I was still in the kitchen when I saw that a mini game had started. It's the game where there is a curvy line in front of you and you have to trace the line as closely as possible. There wasn't a second to lose.
Flash back 5 days earlier. Tim, Dan, Nick and I are playing the same game, Mario Party 4. The cables behind my GC are tangled up, which means the GC has to stay nestled under my TV. The extra short cord is not long enough to reach my couch, so Nick is forced to move the couch about 6 inches closer to the TV. The couch now rests a rather uncomfortable 6 inches away from the heavy, wooden table in front of the TV.
Back to the present. I saw that a game had started and I couldn’t afford to lose. So, with fork in my mouth (horizontally of course, I'm not stupid) I raced to the couch. It's about 20 feet away, but I probably got all the way there in a second. Maybe less. We'll say half a second. I'm mad fast when I need to be. Did I ever mention that my super power is running unbelievably fast for short distances? I'm like an out of shape Flash I am.
So, I was sprinting to the couch, my only concern was getting the controller in my hand. In one smooth motion I pushed off my soft, carpeted floor with my right leg, propelling me a good 4 feet off the ground. I sailed over the back of the couch with ease. My right arm stretching out, in mid air, to grab the controller resting on the ground. The mini game was about to start; I had no time to lose.
Unfortunately, the cushion of the couch was not as solidly locked on as I had anticipated. As my left foot hit the cushion, I could feel it slide off. There was nothing I could do, though. My right leg hit the ground first and I grabbed the controller. My left leg was still moving at full speed, however. It actually gained some momentum as the cushion, leg attacked, fell to the ground. My leg, specifically my knee, slammed into the table. I heard a loud crash, but as the mini game had started, I felt nothing.
A minute later, reveling in a hard fought victory, I stood to bring my food from the kitchen. My leg buckled. Apparently, throwing your knee full speed into a table really, really hurts.
Anyway, the moral of the lesson is to keep your couch a safe distance from the table at all times. I can't touch or bend my knee for a few days, but it was worth it to see the look on that bastard Wario's face.
Monday, March 01, 2004
Weekly Releases
RELEASES FOR THE WEEK OF AUGUST 31, 2004
ESPN NHL 2K5
Dev. Visual Concepts Pub. Sega of America MSRP: $19.99 Systems: PS2, XBX
If you're a hockey fan, this game will surely sate your appetite like no other. If not, you could find worse ways to spend $20 (yes, the entire ESPN line is on the cheap this year). With more game options and online play than you could ever possibly explore (table hockey or skybox design, anyone?), this game doesn't just need your support, it deserves it.
Pikmin 2
Dev. Nintendo Pub. Nintendo of America MSRP: $49.99 Systems: GC
Despite getting a lot of critical lovin', the first Pikmin game was somewhat overlooked during the Gamecube launch (apparently people prefer vacuuming ghosts as a plumber). However, it's not that surprising when you learn that Shigeru Miyamoto came up with the critter-commanding game while gardening. The sequel packs a number of upgrades, such as a couple new colors of Pikmin (a purple one and a creepy white one) and an always-welcome co-operative mode. Pickings are slim for Nintendo fans at the moment, but you can't go wrong with managing tiny gardening spacemen.
Phantom Brave
Dev. Nippon Ichi Pub. Atlus MSRP: $49.99 Systems: PS2
If you've got the time and a thing for strategy RPGs, they don't get much better than this. Following in the footsteps of it's spiritual prequels Disgaea: Hour of Darkness and La Pucelle: Tactics, you can certainly expect gratuitously deep battle tactics, seriously lengthy fights, and a legitimately funny script. Nippon Ichi also spruced up the game's look quite a bite more than their other two previously mentioned titles, which makes it as easy to watch as it is complicated to play. If this is your thing, by all means dive right in, but if you're new to the genre, you'll most likely drown in the details.
Spy Fiction
Dev. Access Games Pub. Sammy Studios MSRP: $39.99 Systems: PS2
If Metal Gear Solid, Mission Impossible, and an anime haircut spent the night together, this would no doubt be the illegitimate result. I applaud Sammy Studios for bringing it over from Japan and fixing it up, but the result seems to steal every possible MGS game mechanic, short of sneaking around in a box. Features like optical camouflage look interesting, but when a game is so unflinchingly derivative, it's tough to appreciate any semi-original ideas.
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Dev. tri-Ace Pub. Square-Enix MSRP: $49.99 Systems: PS2
Determined to live up to it's title (and eons-long development period), you apparently scour the very expanses of time and the universe by the end of this epic, if not inspired, game. The actual fighting and exploring doesn't look to stray too far from it's roots (and fellow Square-Enix stalwart Final Fantasy's, for that matter), but I'm sure any RPG fan will find plenty to geek out over. Between quantity and quality, you'll almost definitely have gotten your money's worth when it's all over. If you want something a little different (and own an X-Box), wait a couple of weeks for Fable, but if you've got some time to kill now, I'm sure Star Ocean will fill it nicely.
Street Fighter Anniversary Collection
Dev. Capcom Pub. Capcom MSRP: $29.99 Systems: PS2 (XBX soon)
Exactly what you'd imagine, with one very nice addition. SF:AC is basically every Street Fighter II game mashed into one, with a bevy of characters, backgrounds and moves from every era, as well as multiple eras for many of the characters. While this may throw off the balance that some of the original games executed so carefully, it's certainly a wonderful treat for any fighting game enthusiast. Also in the box is a pixel-perfect port of Street Fighter 3: Third Strike, a tragically underappreciated brawler. While the combat is more or less Street Fighter II, the stunningly fluid animation makes playing the game a whole different experience. You can wait for the X-Box version if you want online play, assuming that you can deal with the shadier controls; either way, at $30, there are few reasons I can think of not to buy this.
The Guy Game
Dev. Top Heavy Studios Pub. Gathering MSRP: $39.99 Systems: PS2, XBX
Notable in that it's the first game this generation (that I know of) to push the ratings envelope with actual Girls Gone Wild-style nudity, incorporated into a quiz show and some mini-games. The game basically awards right answers with video boobs. I'm sure there will be lots of controversy after it's release, which is pretty ridiculous when you think of how many ultra-violent games go unnoticed. I'm not saying either are bad, but the standards in this country are all askew. Anyhow, if you're a male ages 18-35, there's almost no way you won't enjoy this game, especially with some pals and libations (if you're over 21, of course).
ESPN NHL 2K5
Dev. Visual Concepts Pub. Sega of America MSRP: $19.99 Systems: PS2, XBX
If you're a hockey fan, this game will surely sate your appetite like no other. If not, you could find worse ways to spend $20 (yes, the entire ESPN line is on the cheap this year). With more game options and online play than you could ever possibly explore (table hockey or skybox design, anyone?), this game doesn't just need your support, it deserves it.
Pikmin 2
Dev. Nintendo Pub. Nintendo of America MSRP: $49.99 Systems: GC
Despite getting a lot of critical lovin', the first Pikmin game was somewhat overlooked during the Gamecube launch (apparently people prefer vacuuming ghosts as a plumber). However, it's not that surprising when you learn that Shigeru Miyamoto came up with the critter-commanding game while gardening. The sequel packs a number of upgrades, such as a couple new colors of Pikmin (a purple one and a creepy white one) and an always-welcome co-operative mode. Pickings are slim for Nintendo fans at the moment, but you can't go wrong with managing tiny gardening spacemen.
Phantom Brave
Dev. Nippon Ichi Pub. Atlus MSRP: $49.99 Systems: PS2
If you've got the time and a thing for strategy RPGs, they don't get much better than this. Following in the footsteps of it's spiritual prequels Disgaea: Hour of Darkness and La Pucelle: Tactics, you can certainly expect gratuitously deep battle tactics, seriously lengthy fights, and a legitimately funny script. Nippon Ichi also spruced up the game's look quite a bite more than their other two previously mentioned titles, which makes it as easy to watch as it is complicated to play. If this is your thing, by all means dive right in, but if you're new to the genre, you'll most likely drown in the details.
Spy Fiction
Dev. Access Games Pub. Sammy Studios MSRP: $39.99 Systems: PS2
If Metal Gear Solid, Mission Impossible, and an anime haircut spent the night together, this would no doubt be the illegitimate result. I applaud Sammy Studios for bringing it over from Japan and fixing it up, but the result seems to steal every possible MGS game mechanic, short of sneaking around in a box. Features like optical camouflage look interesting, but when a game is so unflinchingly derivative, it's tough to appreciate any semi-original ideas.
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Dev. tri-Ace Pub. Square-Enix MSRP: $49.99 Systems: PS2
Determined to live up to it's title (and eons-long development period), you apparently scour the very expanses of time and the universe by the end of this epic, if not inspired, game. The actual fighting and exploring doesn't look to stray too far from it's roots (and fellow Square-Enix stalwart Final Fantasy's, for that matter), but I'm sure any RPG fan will find plenty to geek out over. Between quantity and quality, you'll almost definitely have gotten your money's worth when it's all over. If you want something a little different (and own an X-Box), wait a couple of weeks for Fable, but if you've got some time to kill now, I'm sure Star Ocean will fill it nicely.
Street Fighter Anniversary Collection
Dev. Capcom Pub. Capcom MSRP: $29.99 Systems: PS2 (XBX soon)
Exactly what you'd imagine, with one very nice addition. SF:AC is basically every Street Fighter II game mashed into one, with a bevy of characters, backgrounds and moves from every era, as well as multiple eras for many of the characters. While this may throw off the balance that some of the original games executed so carefully, it's certainly a wonderful treat for any fighting game enthusiast. Also in the box is a pixel-perfect port of Street Fighter 3: Third Strike, a tragically underappreciated brawler. While the combat is more or less Street Fighter II, the stunningly fluid animation makes playing the game a whole different experience. You can wait for the X-Box version if you want online play, assuming that you can deal with the shadier controls; either way, at $30, there are few reasons I can think of not to buy this.
The Guy Game
Dev. Top Heavy Studios Pub. Gathering MSRP: $39.99 Systems: PS2, XBX
Notable in that it's the first game this generation (that I know of) to push the ratings envelope with actual Girls Gone Wild-style nudity, incorporated into a quiz show and some mini-games. The game basically awards right answers with video boobs. I'm sure there will be lots of controversy after it's release, which is pretty ridiculous when you think of how many ultra-violent games go unnoticed. I'm not saying either are bad, but the standards in this country are all askew. Anyhow, if you're a male ages 18-35, there's almost no way you won't enjoy this game, especially with some pals and libations (if you're over 21, of course).
Weekly Releases
RELEASES FOR THE WEEK OF AUGUST 31, 2004
ESPN NHL 2K5
Dev. Visual Concepts Pub. Sega of America MSRP: $19.99 Systems: PS2, XBX
If you're a hockey fan, this game will surely sate your appetite like no other. If not, you could find worse ways to spend $20 (yes, the entire ESPN line is on the cheap this year). With more game options and online play than you could ever possibly explore (table hockey or skybox design, anyone?), this game doesn't just need your support, it deserves it.
Pikmin 2
Dev. Nintendo Pub. Nintendo of America MSRP: $49.99 Systems: GC
Despite getting a lot of critical lovin', the first Pikmin game was somewhat overlooked during the Gamecube launch (apparently people prefer vacuuming ghosts as a plumber). However, it's not that surprising when you learn that Shigeru Miyamoto came up with the critter-commanding game while gardening. The sequel packs a number of upgrades, such as a couple new colors of Pikmin (a purple one and a creepy white one) and an always-welcome co-operative mode. Pickings are slim for Nintendo fans at the moment, but you can't go wrong with managing tiny gardening spacemen.
Phantom Brave
Dev. Nippon Ichi Pub. Atlus MSRP: $49.99 Systems: PS2
If you've got the time and a thing for strategy RPGs, they don't get much better than this. Following in the footsteps of it's spiritual prequels Disgaea: Hour of Darkness and La Pucelle: Tactics, you can certainly expect gratuitously deep battle tactics, seriously lengthy fights, and a legitimately funny script. Nippon Ichi also spruced up the game's look quite a bite more than their other two previously mentioned titles, which makes it as easy to watch as it is complicated to play. If this is your thing, by all means dive right in, but if you're new to the genre, you'll most likely drown in the details.
Spy Fiction
Dev. Access Games Pub. Sammy Studios MSRP: $39.99 Systems: PS2
If Metal Gear Solid, Mission Impossible, and an anime haircut spent the night together, this would no doubt be the illegitimate result. I applaud Sammy Studios for bringing it over from Japan and fixing it up, but the result seems to steal every possible MGS game mechanic, short of sneaking around in a box. Features like optical camouflage look interesting, but when a game is so unflinchingly derivative, it's tough to appreciate any semi-original ideas.
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Dev. tri-Ace Pub. Square-Enix MSRP: $49.99 Systems: PS2
Determined to live up to it's title (and eons-long development period), you apparently scour the very expanses of time and the universe by the end of this epic, if not inspired, game. The actual fighting and exploring doesn't look to stray too far from it's roots (and fellow Square-Enix stalwart Final Fantasy's, for that matter), but I'm sure any RPG fan will find plenty to geek out over. Between quantity and quality, you'll almost definitely have gotten your money's worth when it's all over. If you want something a little different (and own an X-Box), wait a couple of weeks for Fable, but if you've got some time to kill now, I'm sure Star Ocean will fill it nicely.
Street Fighter Anniversary Collection
Dev. Capcom Pub. Capcom MSRP: $29.99 Systems: PS2 (XBX soon)
Exactly what you'd imagine, with one very nice addition. SF:AC is basically every Street Fighter II game mashed into one, with a bevy of characters, backgrounds and moves from every era, as well as multiple eras for many of the characters. While this may throw off the balance that some of the original games executed so carefully, it's certainly a wonderful treat for any fighting game enthusiast. Also in the box is a pixel-perfect port of Street Fighter 3: Third Strike, a tragically underappreciated brawler. While the combat is more or less Street Fighter II, the stunningly fluid animation makes playing the game a whole different experience. You can wait for the X-Box version if you want online play, assuming that you can deal with the shadier controls; either way, at $30, there are few reasons I can think of not to buy this.
The Guy Game
Dev. Top Heavy Studios Pub. Gathering MSRP: $39.99 Systems: PS2, XBX
Notable in that it's the first game this generation (that I know of) to push the ratings envelope with actual Girls Gone Wild-style nudity, incorporated into a quiz show and some mini-games. The game basically awards right answers with video boobs. I'm sure there will be lots of controversy after it's release, which is pretty ridiculous when you think of how many ultra-violent games go unnoticed. I'm not saying either are bad, but the standards in this country are all askew. Anyhow, if you're a male ages 18-35, there's almost no way you won't enjoy this game, especially with some pals and libations (if you're over 21, of course).
ESPN NHL 2K5
Dev. Visual Concepts Pub. Sega of America MSRP: $19.99 Systems: PS2, XBX
If you're a hockey fan, this game will surely sate your appetite like no other. If not, you could find worse ways to spend $20 (yes, the entire ESPN line is on the cheap this year). With more game options and online play than you could ever possibly explore (table hockey or skybox design, anyone?), this game doesn't just need your support, it deserves it.
Pikmin 2
Dev. Nintendo Pub. Nintendo of America MSRP: $49.99 Systems: GC
Despite getting a lot of critical lovin', the first Pikmin game was somewhat overlooked during the Gamecube launch (apparently people prefer vacuuming ghosts as a plumber). However, it's not that surprising when you learn that Shigeru Miyamoto came up with the critter-commanding game while gardening. The sequel packs a number of upgrades, such as a couple new colors of Pikmin (a purple one and a creepy white one) and an always-welcome co-operative mode. Pickings are slim for Nintendo fans at the moment, but you can't go wrong with managing tiny gardening spacemen.
Phantom Brave
Dev. Nippon Ichi Pub. Atlus MSRP: $49.99 Systems: PS2
If you've got the time and a thing for strategy RPGs, they don't get much better than this. Following in the footsteps of it's spiritual prequels Disgaea: Hour of Darkness and La Pucelle: Tactics, you can certainly expect gratuitously deep battle tactics, seriously lengthy fights, and a legitimately funny script. Nippon Ichi also spruced up the game's look quite a bite more than their other two previously mentioned titles, which makes it as easy to watch as it is complicated to play. If this is your thing, by all means dive right in, but if you're new to the genre, you'll most likely drown in the details.
Spy Fiction
Dev. Access Games Pub. Sammy Studios MSRP: $39.99 Systems: PS2
If Metal Gear Solid, Mission Impossible, and an anime haircut spent the night together, this would no doubt be the illegitimate result. I applaud Sammy Studios for bringing it over from Japan and fixing it up, but the result seems to steal every possible MGS game mechanic, short of sneaking around in a box. Features like optical camouflage look interesting, but when a game is so unflinchingly derivative, it's tough to appreciate any semi-original ideas.
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Dev. tri-Ace Pub. Square-Enix MSRP: $49.99 Systems: PS2
Determined to live up to it's title (and eons-long development period), you apparently scour the very expanses of time and the universe by the end of this epic, if not inspired, game. The actual fighting and exploring doesn't look to stray too far from it's roots (and fellow Square-Enix stalwart Final Fantasy's, for that matter), but I'm sure any RPG fan will find plenty to geek out over. Between quantity and quality, you'll almost definitely have gotten your money's worth when it's all over. If you want something a little different (and own an X-Box), wait a couple of weeks for Fable, but if you've got some time to kill now, I'm sure Star Ocean will fill it nicely.
Street Fighter Anniversary Collection
Dev. Capcom Pub. Capcom MSRP: $29.99 Systems: PS2 (XBX soon)
Exactly what you'd imagine, with one very nice addition. SF:AC is basically every Street Fighter II game mashed into one, with a bevy of characters, backgrounds and moves from every era, as well as multiple eras for many of the characters. While this may throw off the balance that some of the original games executed so carefully, it's certainly a wonderful treat for any fighting game enthusiast. Also in the box is a pixel-perfect port of Street Fighter 3: Third Strike, a tragically underappreciated brawler. While the combat is more or less Street Fighter II, the stunningly fluid animation makes playing the game a whole different experience. You can wait for the X-Box version if you want online play, assuming that you can deal with the shadier controls; either way, at $30, there are few reasons I can think of not to buy this.
The Guy Game
Dev. Top Heavy Studios Pub. Gathering MSRP: $39.99 Systems: PS2, XBX
Notable in that it's the first game this generation (that I know of) to push the ratings envelope with actual Girls Gone Wild-style nudity, incorporated into a quiz show and some mini-games. The game basically awards right answers with video boobs. I'm sure there will be lots of controversy after it's release, which is pretty ridiculous when you think of how many ultra-violent games go unnoticed. I'm not saying either are bad, but the standards in this country are all askew. Anyhow, if you're a male ages 18-35, there's almost no way you won't enjoy this game, especially with some pals and libations (if you're over 21, of course).
Grand Theft Autumn
The new Grand Theft Auto game was finally announced today. They went with the subtitle San Andreas, and it's coming out October 19th for PS2. I'm assuming that San Andreas = San Francisco, which should make for some interesting architecture. I think that the architecture in GTA3 was about the only thing better than Vice City, so I'm hoping this'll be the best of both worlds. And although I doubt there's going to be any vast innovation over Vice City (they're saving that for GTA4, a rumored PS3 launch title), I'll be more than happy with a new city to explore, a few new vehicles to romp around in and some new weapons to play around with. If they wanted to make me really happy, the developers would add some of these requests of mine:
Destructable environments - This is a bit much to ask, but if I could drive through a building, get out of the car, and turn around just to level the rest of it with a rocket launcher, I would be in miscreant's heaven. Construction crews could show up with scaffolding and repair the place as time passed, so if you killed a couple hours (or killed for a couple of hours) and came back to that area, everything would be fixed.
Deeper property owning - I liked being able to buy property in GTA:VC, but the scope of it was fairly limited (saving and sometimes a garage). I would like to see buildings whose architecture and paint job you can customize and expand. I want to be able to run a brothel out of my hotel if I so choose. I want to be able to own almost every building in town, and go inside them all as I buy them for the hell of it (many of the insides could be randomly generated to save in development time). I'd like to be able to rent out my property to tenants and businesses, and come collect rent and kill them if it's not paid on time.
I want to feel like a big shot - When I make it to the top of the crime chain, I want lesser criminals to come to me with requests. And if I grant their wishes, I want to see the results as I drive around (such as their gang having gained power over a particular neighborhood). I want to be able to pay off the police for limited time periods, especially during some missions, I want women to flock to me as I walk the streets (without game-ruining codes), and I want gang turf immunity/assistance depending on whom I side with (optional NPCs for any mission).
Taller buildings, crazier means of transportation - I want to hanglide off of a skyscraper only to land in the living room of my enemy in his summer house across the lake. I want to scubadive up into the aquarium and ride a dolphin off into the sunset (when I said crazy, I meant crazy). I want an experimental army mech to romp around the streets with, taking out tanks like flies.
Seasons and weather - I want to be able to run over kids playing in their yards in the summer (suck it, Lieberman), and drive over the frozen lake in the winter. I want ramps of snow to drive on, and earthquakes to terraform the whole city.
I want to be able to scan in my face to map to the main character, T.H.U.G.-style.
I want customizable, upgradable weapons.
I want money to mean something, and for there to always be something you can just barely not afford.
I want optional side-missions in every car I jack.
I want a lot, but I know that I'll be thrilled with whatever they give me. They're not going to screw up the biggest videogame franchise in the world, and I have faith that San Andreas will be every bit of an improvement over VC that VC was over GTA3. I'm hoping that the new PSM will have a huge gallery of exclusive screenshots like they did for VC two years ago, because I'm dying to see what Rockstar has created. Damn, this makes me want to go to E3 more than ever. We'll see what happens...
Destructable environments - This is a bit much to ask, but if I could drive through a building, get out of the car, and turn around just to level the rest of it with a rocket launcher, I would be in miscreant's heaven. Construction crews could show up with scaffolding and repair the place as time passed, so if you killed a couple hours (or killed for a couple of hours) and came back to that area, everything would be fixed.
Deeper property owning - I liked being able to buy property in GTA:VC, but the scope of it was fairly limited (saving and sometimes a garage). I would like to see buildings whose architecture and paint job you can customize and expand. I want to be able to run a brothel out of my hotel if I so choose. I want to be able to own almost every building in town, and go inside them all as I buy them for the hell of it (many of the insides could be randomly generated to save in development time). I'd like to be able to rent out my property to tenants and businesses, and come collect rent and kill them if it's not paid on time.
I want to feel like a big shot - When I make it to the top of the crime chain, I want lesser criminals to come to me with requests. And if I grant their wishes, I want to see the results as I drive around (such as their gang having gained power over a particular neighborhood). I want to be able to pay off the police for limited time periods, especially during some missions, I want women to flock to me as I walk the streets (without game-ruining codes), and I want gang turf immunity/assistance depending on whom I side with (optional NPCs for any mission).
Taller buildings, crazier means of transportation - I want to hanglide off of a skyscraper only to land in the living room of my enemy in his summer house across the lake. I want to scubadive up into the aquarium and ride a dolphin off into the sunset (when I said crazy, I meant crazy). I want an experimental army mech to romp around the streets with, taking out tanks like flies.
Seasons and weather - I want to be able to run over kids playing in their yards in the summer (suck it, Lieberman), and drive over the frozen lake in the winter. I want ramps of snow to drive on, and earthquakes to terraform the whole city.
I want to be able to scan in my face to map to the main character, T.H.U.G.-style.
I want customizable, upgradable weapons.
I want money to mean something, and for there to always be something you can just barely not afford.
I want optional side-missions in every car I jack.
I want a lot, but I know that I'll be thrilled with whatever they give me. They're not going to screw up the biggest videogame franchise in the world, and I have faith that San Andreas will be every bit of an improvement over VC that VC was over GTA3. I'm hoping that the new PSM will have a huge gallery of exclusive screenshots like they did for VC two years ago, because I'm dying to see what Rockstar has created. Damn, this makes me want to go to E3 more than ever. We'll see what happens...
Sunday, February 29, 2004
The worst thing in the world!
You know, I am constantly spouting these crazy opinions and it seems as though something always happens that comes back to bite me in the ass.
Lately, I've been getting pissed about licensed games. I think too many developers rely on a big name to sell their product instead of innovation or deep gameplay. It seems like it's almost impossible to be successful in the market place without A)Having a recognizable name and B)Looking very pretty. Because of this, smaller developers that don't have EA or Activision publishing games for them could be lost forever. It's very sad to me.
When I found out they were making a video game version of one of my favorite movies, Fight Club, I got quite pissed. The movie came out October 1999 and, God damnit, isn't anything sacred anymore?
Then I read a rumor in the new EGM that EA (GRRRR) might be developing a new Mafia based shooter using The Godfather licensed. Yes, this pissed me off more than you can imagine. Maybe the greatest movies ever now being made into a lame (yes, it will be lame) game almost 30 years later. Can't you just buy a soul EA? Please, for the sake of the children.
But then, after all that bitching about how horrible licensed games and how EA and Activision and other big publishers are ruining the industry... there just happens to be some great licensed games. Well, one great one. But it happens to be my second favorite game of all time - Goldeneye.
But, Goldeneye is such an old game. Surely I didn't write a new post just to mention that, did I? Of course not. The latest rumor I just read has a brand new game based off of the greatest non comedic show of all time coming out in the future. No, not an America's Funniest Home Video game. Better than that. A game based on 24! Weeeeee!
I guess my excitement for this let's me see how maybe, just maybe, I can forgive the travesties of these money grubbing companies. I know the game can't be as good as the show. It's not possible. But it would be so much fun to control Jack Bauer. Maybe I can finally kill Kim or something. Man, I can't wait. Anyway, I guess the point of this is that everything evil has a good side as well. Except Nick.
Lately, I've been getting pissed about licensed games. I think too many developers rely on a big name to sell their product instead of innovation or deep gameplay. It seems like it's almost impossible to be successful in the market place without A)Having a recognizable name and B)Looking very pretty. Because of this, smaller developers that don't have EA or Activision publishing games for them could be lost forever. It's very sad to me.
When I found out they were making a video game version of one of my favorite movies, Fight Club, I got quite pissed. The movie came out October 1999 and, God damnit, isn't anything sacred anymore?
Then I read a rumor in the new EGM that EA (GRRRR) might be developing a new Mafia based shooter using The Godfather licensed. Yes, this pissed me off more than you can imagine. Maybe the greatest movies ever now being made into a lame (yes, it will be lame) game almost 30 years later. Can't you just buy a soul EA? Please, for the sake of the children.
But then, after all that bitching about how horrible licensed games and how EA and Activision and other big publishers are ruining the industry... there just happens to be some great licensed games. Well, one great one. But it happens to be my second favorite game of all time - Goldeneye.
But, Goldeneye is such an old game. Surely I didn't write a new post just to mention that, did I? Of course not. The latest rumor I just read has a brand new game based off of the greatest non comedic show of all time coming out in the future. No, not an America's Funniest Home Video game. Better than that. A game based on 24! Weeeeee!
I guess my excitement for this let's me see how maybe, just maybe, I can forgive the travesties of these money grubbing companies. I know the game can't be as good as the show. It's not possible. But it would be so much fun to control Jack Bauer. Maybe I can finally kill Kim or something. Man, I can't wait. Anyway, I guess the point of this is that everything evil has a good side as well. Except Nick.
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