G-pinions

There's really no logical reason why KOTOR should be as good as it is. The story is slow, the character dialogue is redundant, the graphics are functional but not astounding, the levels are relatively sparse, the textures are bland, the battles can be awkward and usually require little skill, the teammate A.I. is questionable, the general pathfinding is weak, a lot of the items you'll find are fairly useless, and the NPCs are either inconsequential or very important. In fact, if someone were to ask me what the two single best elements of the game are, I'd probably say the great voice-acting and useful map, which aren't exactly vital. Somehow though, everything comes together. While a lot of the individual elements may seem mediocre, few are actually bad, and the better ones compliment each other very well. That, and the balance and pacing is just spot-on throughout. The battles are actually pretty fun despite their shortcomings, and you never go for very long without one. Just when you get sick of wandering through an area you'll be presented with something new to do, and you're almost always rewarded for exploring off the beaten path. In general, the more you put into the game the more you'll get back. It's a pretty unique game, but damned if it isn't compelling as hell. I really need to finish it before GTA comes out; it's too bad I'm a year late on this one.

Welcome back to the wonderful world of creative headlines. Using the power of my mental creativity, combined with nimble typing, I have devised a title so deviously devilish, it could squeak by the most ardent idea squashers. Hoo hoo, how the impecunious mind works. From that simple sentence, a glorious segue to the world of Metal Slug 3 is produced. And the angels rejoice.

First, a question about the existence of this game. For those of you who have frequented arcades or Neo Geo archives, you will know that Metal Slug is SNK's answer to Konami's Contra. A little more over the top, a little more creative, but essentially, this game finds its roots entirely entrenched in the land of the Up Up Down Down code. In fact, placing these two games next to each other - the original Contra works just as well as Shattered Soldier for this example - you will find that, aside from prettier explosions and larger sprites, these games actually look remarkably alike. So, it is with some surprise that SNK opted to port this old arcade shooter to the technological wonder that is the Xbox. Even weird is that they decided to port MS3, instead of the more recent 4 and 5.

Despite the pure shock of existing in the first place, MG3 for the Xbox is a damn fine shooter. The game lends much of its enjoyment to the same simple joys found in Contra: fight hordes of incoming enemies with awesome weapons knowing that if you even make one mistake, if you get hit by one of 1,000 bullets and missiles flying towards you, you will die. These games are at their best when they are kicking your butt and making you swear like a sailor with a broom up his ass. And in this way, MS3 can definitely stand on the top of the mountain among other greats in the genre.

One thing MG3 actually does better than Contra is the sheer variety of gameplay. Most versions of Contra have you and a friend marching from left to right, destroying everything in your path, level after level. Sometimes the level scrolls up, sometimes there is no scrolling at all, but usually you find yourself on foot against a legion of enemies.

In MG3, there is much more variety. While the levels found in Contra are still there, you also have a huge amount of vehicles to play around with. Sure, it's still scrolling left to right, shooting everything in your path - but this time you're riding a camel. Or an elephant. Or, you turned into a Zombie and are unleashing a vomit/laser attack. Or, your plane just blew up and you’re using a jetpack. While the actual nuts and bolts gameplay changes very little from level to level or game to game, players never get bored because new things are always being thrown your way.

Also, the game has these branching paths that make replaying levels really fun. Every level seems to have 4 or 5 different ways to go through it. The best part is, you have to actually figure out where the branching occurs. The game doesn’t reach out, hold your hand, and point you to the fork in the road very often. It’s almost like Donkey Kong Country in this way. In fact, they both involve riding animals as well… Another video game first right here on G-Pinions! I have looked and no one else, ever, has compared Metal Slug to Donkey Kong Country.

It’s not all wine and roses, though. The biggest (only?) problem with the game comes from the cool weapons you pick up along the way. While both games have rocket launchers and flame throwers, in MG3 the developers actually limit the ammo in these super guns. I guess this is an attempt to make the game slightly more difficult, as these weapons - especially the shotgun, and especially the “Rocket Lawncher” - are much more powerful than the standard gun. But, in games like this where shooting and dodging make up the entirety of the gameplay, it would be nice to forget about ammo and just kick some butt.

Also, this game may be a tad too hard. While Nick and I breezed through the first 4 levels without too much difficulty, the fifth, and possibly last, level is just too long and frustrating. Ok, it’s not really frustrating because it’s so damn fun, but it was too hard for us to beat. The level is much cooler than anything else in the game, but not being able to restart after destroying the second mini boss made this level a chore to keep playing through.

Let me break down for you just how insane this level is - you start out in a helicopter, mowing down parachuting enemies high above the Earth. Then you find yourself inches above the ground, still flying in your helicopter, taking on more powerful enemies in vehicles. Then you fight your first boss, who is so large you find yourself trapped against either the ground or invisible walls for much of the battle. At this point, you’re lucky to have lost only one life.

Then, after a very short land fighting sequence, you fight the second boss. This guy is a piece of cake and should be dispatched without dying. However, as easy as he is, the first two sections take about 15-20 minutes to play through. The next section is by far the best part of the entire game - you fly space ships in a vertical shooter level. Pure awesomeness. If this came out in the 70s instead of Galaga, the world would have been a much better place. So, while you're blasting hordes of aliens, and the occasional meteor shower, one can actually make it through this section without dying.

But, this brings the level time in at around 30 minutes. At this point, you've probably made a few mistakes and have 1 or 2 two lives left. And this is where it gets harder. You must throw your awesome vehicles away and fight in standard, side scrolling combat. This is as far as Nick and I got. I would have loved to see the whole level, but once you lose your 5th life, you have to do the whole thing again. Though we did end up trying about 5 or 6 times...

Anyway, this game isn't really worth buying, except for $10 or less. But, it is still ridiculously fun. I love shooters like this and am super pumped for Alien Hominid next week. Mmmmm... mindless shooters....

KOTOR is much better when set to play fully turn-based.

Metal Slug 3 is hard as shit, but fun as hell.

Halo 2 was finally leaked blah blah blah go to any gaming message board if you want to spoil it for yourself. Regardless, I'm just happy that system link co-op and the return of Bloodgulch are confirmed, even if they were blindingly predictable before.

And then, there's this:



Goodnight.


Update: One more news item - San Andreas apparently has a handful of 2-player co-op missions. *vomits in anticipation*

I remember way back in July when I first got my school schedule for the fall. I looked sadly at it, remembering how easy life was at Columbia, and realized I would be spending roughly half of my life at school in the coming semester. I told Nick then that I really wasn't sure how often I would be able to update G-Pinions. I told him that he should probably only expect one or two updates a week. "That's all I'll be able to fit in." I said.

Now I'm smack dab in the middle of this ridiculous schedule and I update less than one time a week. What happened? Was the workload even more than I anticipated? Did I just stop playing games completely? Unfortunately, I have no excuse except pure laziness. From this point forward, I vow to update at least once a week. Sure, that isn't much, but considering how little I've updated recently, shouldn’t you be happy with anything?

Moving on to video games... upon walking to class early Tuesday afternoon, out of the corner of my eye I saw a bright, yellow sticker fashioned to the middle of a sewer grate. Normally, I wouldn't allow myself the indignity of going out of my way to see what the message of a sticker was, but there was something about this particular sticker. Maybe it was the way the sun bounced merrily off the top. Or it might have been the pure, golden hue that radiated good fortune. Whatever it was, I found myself looking closer.

What did I see? A black R followed by a small star. "Huh," I thought to myself. "Isn't that the Rockstar label?"

With no time to survey the area, I rushed to class. The whole time my thoughts were preoccupied by this sticker. Why would there be a bright yellow sticker stuck to the top of a sewer? Did the average person even recognize the Rockstar logo? I decided that it couldn’t' have been by chance - the sticker was right in the middle of the sewer grate. So why was it there?

Walking back to the train after class, the mystery grew. One half block north of the random sewer is a smattering of newspaper receptacles. I really have no idea if that's their proper name or not. The giant, metal contraptions that happily accept your quarters in exchange for the day’s news. There are probably 6 or 7 lined up outside of the L stop.

To my surprise, the same yellow sticker was now stuck on 4 of these boxes. Usually, they were placed near the coin slot where one could not help but see it if they were in the mood for purchasing a paper. But, as the thing is so bright and so yellow, placing it almost anywhere on the mini entrepreneur is enough for a passerby to see it.

What is up with these ads?

Coming out of the train this morning, I wasn’t sure what to expect. The yellow stickers on the newspaper thingies and sewer were still there, but even more appeared along my walk. One was stuck 5 foot up a light poll. Another on a bus stop. One of them was placed next to the call button on an emergency help post. Clearly, this Rockstar sticker business has gotten out of hand.

If anyone has any information on where these are coming from, or have seen them in other places throughout the city, please tell me. We must get to the bottom of this mystery.