G-pinions

It's the damnedest thing: I finally have a computer complete with an ultra modern internet connection in my very own home. Don't be alarmed - the movers have still not completed the task they were hired to do more than twenty four days ago. They are still in Las Vegas, with all of my material possessions. It's the little things you start to miss. I long to throw some trash into my old 49ers garbage can I fear I will never see again. I've also grown tired of drinking from an old Taco Bell cup. I require elegant crystal! Thankfully, the items filling my apartment are not all refuse. One of the useful items, a laptop donated to me by a longtime G reader, has been most kind in delivering the kind of services I expect from a computer. Namely, I have finally had the pleasure of going online from the comfort of my new abode. However, and here's where the "damnedest thing" I mentioned at the start of this paragraph comes into play, I can't access my email. Sadly, Gmail is tied into my Blogger account which means I cannot check my email, send out my resume, nor update my website. The world continues to weep for the pain I am going through. Does the term "Punitive Damages" make anyone else smile?

I have still been spending hours of my time cradling my precious Nintendo DS. After finishing Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime last week, I was momentarily left without a single game to call my own. I nearly cried from boredom. I raced to my local EB Games, a place so heinous I will now spit whenever its distasteful words leave my mouth, to fill the huge void the completion of DQH:RS had left in me. I raced there the day Phoenix Wright: Justice for All came out, a game I have been anticipated since the last entry made me realize why so many people yearn for the glory days when adventure games roamed the gaming landscape like Raptors on trained T Rexes. I said, "Can I have a copy of that great new lawyer game?" "Did you preorder?" the hippie bastard asked?

Can you believe we live in a world where there is only one major retail chain that specializes in video games, and yet they do not even stock new releases the day they are made available to the starving masses? Can you imagine if every movie theater required an advanced ticket purchase to see a new release within the first week? Or, in a world where people actually bought CDs, people were forced to wait a week to listen to their favorite artist if they didn't slap down $5 a few months in advance?

I called EB Games the day PW:JfA shipped. I wanted to clarify the release date and make sure they were getting copies. I was urged to put money down in order to secure a copy the next day. As if, twenty hours before release, they had not actually ordered copies yet. I was so desperate for a new NDS game at that time I actually would have put down $5 to make sure I got a copy as soon as possible. But it would have been quite the inconvenience. At the time, I did not have my car yet. I could have walked 2.7 miles into the city and then walked all the way home. I could have taken a train. I could have spent a lot of time walking or $3 riding the train to reserve a copy. But that would have been completely ridiculous. Why should I have to go through this trouble? Why is it so hard for a video game retailer, who sells nothing but video games and video game accessories, to stock new games? And why, if you insist on collecting people's hard-earned money to fill your god awful preorder quotas, would you refuse to take a credit card order over the phone?

I understand EB Games' philosophy, but that just makes me more angry. They do not care one iota about pleasing the customer. They don't make much money off of new game purchases. If they are really lucky, they'll take in $1 on a $60 game. So, they don't want you to buy new games. They want you to buy used games. They want you to purchase the games they have bought from desperate consumers who were all too happy to receive $7 for a game they had grown tired of. EB Games marks the title up to $30 and is just praying you'll plunk down a $23 profit for their salivating pockets. Why would they go out of their way to get the newest titles when they have so much more to gain from used ones? If you want to secure a new game, you have to give them money, interest free money, so they will be kind enough to order one for you on the day of release. Why would I do this? It would be easier for me to just use Amazon.com, not have my credit card charged until the game is in my possession, and not have to put up with backasswards business policies.

I ended up buying a copy of Yoshi's Island DS, priced $5 higher than anywhere else, because I was so desperate to have a new game. It honestly caused me pain to hand over my money to them. I would like to start a boycott of EB Games, but they are simply not worth the effort. Anyone with half a brain will realize their anti-consumer actions can be avoided by frequenting less hostile stores. However, EB Games is no longer getting a cent of my money. They are a greedy, heartless corporation that can go the way of those dinosaurs no one thinks about anymore. You know, the ones that are smaller than a chicken. Bah, who needs tiny dinosaurs anyway?