Thursday, December 07, 2006
Lunch with Tom - You better have an Xbox 360 by March
I must apologize. In my haste to complain about the PSP and gather support against the evil Electronic Arts, I never wrote about what truly matters. Nick and I played one of the greatest games of all time last March but there has been no mention of it on these virtual pages. My experiences are not fresh enough to recreate the experience here, but I did make a few notes back in March that I will share now. And then? A huge announcement that will move the Earth itself as it spins with joy.
"The other day, God and I were having a pretty serious conversation. Names were thrown around and feelings were hurt, but eventually God tried to make amends. He offering me a gift. "Anything in the world!" he said. Well, when you can have anything you can possibly imagine from God himself, you shouldn't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. And believe me, I certainly didn't. I thought about all the starving children in the world and homeless puppies, but I didn't want God to think I was some lame do-gooder, trying to show my benevolence in exchange for more wishes. So I asked for something I think we can all appreciate - a really great video game. Don't laugh, I didn't just ask for any old game. That would be silly, no? I said I wanted a co-op game that would put all other cooperative endeavors to shame. I wanted an idea finally realized; one that has been drifting in and out of my conscienceless since birth. I wanted something with giant spiders. God nodded his head, thrice blinked his eyes, and spat out, in a way that only God can, Earth Defense Force 2.
Of course, I forgot to specify that I wanted a game on a system I actually own. The Japanese have been playing EDF2 for a year now, blissfully unaware that the silicon they were so enjoying was crafted from neuron particles drifting around my carbon coated cabeza. God must have had quite a laugh at my inability to play the game he created specifically for me. Eventually, he took pity and blessed my buddy Nick with the desire to import this dream game for the two of us to share. So finally, I have laid my hands upon the greatest cooperative game ever imagined by human and deity alike."
Ever since that day 8 months ago I have been pining for more Earth Defense Force action. But it has only been released in Japan. Neither I nor any of my friends have a foreign console. I was stuck reading other people's experiences with this great game, hoping that one day, God would finally bring it to American shores. Would you like some symmetry? Next March, exactly one year after I first experienced Earth saving bliss, a new EDF title will come to America for my Xbox 360. I cannot possibly capture how important this announcement is to me. There is no greater joy in gaming than playing with a friend. Notice I said "with." Competition may drive our society, but making your way through a video game with a buddy is about as good as life gets. Why do you think Nick and I spent 200 hours playing Champions of Norrath, Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows and Adventures of Cookies and Cream? Co-op makes everything more fun. So, when you have a game that is already brilliant and add in a second player, well, you have a classic for all of time.
Like everything in life, there is a slight catch. You may have read how God tricked me earlier. Don't worry, the sequel to the PlayStation 2 classic will come to America next year and it will have cooperative play. However, it will not let you and a friend team up online. My initial reaction was pure anger. You expect me to go all the way over to my friend's house? Or, god forbid, I have to shell out $60 for another controller? The nerve! But then I started thinking. Co-op is the best thing ever, but part of that fun comes from hanging out with a friend. Voice chat is impersonal. It's distant. I assume D3, the publisher of this game, left out online co-op because of technical limitations (did I mention the 10-story tall insects?), but, deep down inside, I'm sure they understand the joy of hitting your friend in real life because he shot you with a god-damned rocket launcher.
It's going to be some competition for my gaming time next March. Should I play Earth Defense Force X, possibly the new greatest co-op game of all time? Or should I try that Halo 3 Beta everyone is talking about? decisions, decisions...
"The other day, God and I were having a pretty serious conversation. Names were thrown around and feelings were hurt, but eventually God tried to make amends. He offering me a gift. "Anything in the world!" he said. Well, when you can have anything you can possibly imagine from God himself, you shouldn't just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. And believe me, I certainly didn't. I thought about all the starving children in the world and homeless puppies, but I didn't want God to think I was some lame do-gooder, trying to show my benevolence in exchange for more wishes. So I asked for something I think we can all appreciate - a really great video game. Don't laugh, I didn't just ask for any old game. That would be silly, no? I said I wanted a co-op game that would put all other cooperative endeavors to shame. I wanted an idea finally realized; one that has been drifting in and out of my conscienceless since birth. I wanted something with giant spiders. God nodded his head, thrice blinked his eyes, and spat out, in a way that only God can, Earth Defense Force 2.
Of course, I forgot to specify that I wanted a game on a system I actually own. The Japanese have been playing EDF2 for a year now, blissfully unaware that the silicon they were so enjoying was crafted from neuron particles drifting around my carbon coated cabeza. God must have had quite a laugh at my inability to play the game he created specifically for me. Eventually, he took pity and blessed my buddy Nick with the desire to import this dream game for the two of us to share. So finally, I have laid my hands upon the greatest cooperative game ever imagined by human and deity alike."
Ever since that day 8 months ago I have been pining for more Earth Defense Force action. But it has only been released in Japan. Neither I nor any of my friends have a foreign console. I was stuck reading other people's experiences with this great game, hoping that one day, God would finally bring it to American shores. Would you like some symmetry? Next March, exactly one year after I first experienced Earth saving bliss, a new EDF title will come to America for my Xbox 360. I cannot possibly capture how important this announcement is to me. There is no greater joy in gaming than playing with a friend. Notice I said "with." Competition may drive our society, but making your way through a video game with a buddy is about as good as life gets. Why do you think Nick and I spent 200 hours playing Champions of Norrath, Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows and Adventures of Cookies and Cream? Co-op makes everything more fun. So, when you have a game that is already brilliant and add in a second player, well, you have a classic for all of time.
Like everything in life, there is a slight catch. You may have read how God tricked me earlier. Don't worry, the sequel to the PlayStation 2 classic will come to America next year and it will have cooperative play. However, it will not let you and a friend team up online. My initial reaction was pure anger. You expect me to go all the way over to my friend's house? Or, god forbid, I have to shell out $60 for another controller? The nerve! But then I started thinking. Co-op is the best thing ever, but part of that fun comes from hanging out with a friend. Voice chat is impersonal. It's distant. I assume D3, the publisher of this game, left out online co-op because of technical limitations (did I mention the 10-story tall insects?), but, deep down inside, I'm sure they understand the joy of hitting your friend in real life because he shot you with a god-damned rocket launcher.
It's going to be some competition for my gaming time next March. Should I play Earth Defense Force X, possibly the new greatest co-op game of all time? Or should I try that Halo 3 Beta everyone is talking about? decisions, decisions...
// posted by Tom @ 11:52 AM 
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