G-pinions

I am finally the proud owner of a Nintendo Dual Screen Lite. I shelled out the big bucks because it's so damn small I can fit it in my pocket with hardly a bulge. And the screen - have you seen the screen? It's the best screen I have ever seen on a portable device. Just a brilliant example of why video games are the pinnacle of modern society. I am still wary of the standard control scheme, though. The D-Pad and buttons are very small with no room on the edges of the system to rest your hands. And where's the give? Those things are as mushy as pudding. Like all my problems, I'll worry about that later. Castlevania isn't coming out until December, right? Now I am knee-deep in a game that shuns those archaic control methods.

I actually bought Cooking Mama. No, my self-esteem is not so low that I struggle to even say those words aloud. Even if when the clerk smirked and even my mom laughed, I held my head high. What kind-hearted soul wouldn't want to play a game called Cooking Mama? While looking for my not-yet-purchased DSL - which Best Buy does not actually keep stocked under the NDS game for some reason - I looked specifically for this game. I had actually called a few stores last week to see if anyone had it in stock. Because Cooking Mama is an NDS game, and because it is so different and weird, I really wanted it. I didn't really care if it was actually "good" or that I would be getting Mario Basketball a few days later, relegating Cooking Mama to a place on my dust-enveloped shelf. The whole reason I own an NDS, and why it's probably my favorite system now, is because it offers so many unique experiences. For all its faults, Cooking Mama is unlike anything else out there.

Cooking Mama is kind of like Wario Ware with a purpose. That whole "purpose" thing is the biggest draw but ultimately the biggest flaw with the game. Don't you love when that happens? The minigames are strung together in rapid succession with the ultimate goal being the noble creation of some recipe. You chop vegetables, mix sauces, add water, roll chicken around in flour, and all the other crap real chefs have to dirty their hands with. You're graded on every aspect of the process, and you get some shiny metal at the end depending on how good you are. Do everything perfectly and get a gold. Add too much water or take too much time to peel the potatoes and get a silver or - *Gasp* - a bronze.

So here's the problem: there just isn't much variety. Whereas Wario Ware has the ability to throw in a pick-the-nose game next to one where you have to shake some adorable puppy's paw, everything in Cooking Mama relates to traditional cooking techniques. Sometimes you get a new step throw in, like when I had to decapitate some shrimp, but most recipes are virtually indistinguishable from one another. What am I making now: rice balls or rice cakes?

Still, the game is fun in ways that only a portable NDS title can be. Nothing quite like going to the bathroom and frying up some mackerel. And, because these are real recipes, you may be able to translate your mad skills in the game to real world cooking. Of course, there aren't any measurements in the game, but real chefs don't measure their ingredients anyway. As long as you know how to crack an egg with just one hand you're halfway to being able to compete on Iron Chef - College Dorm Room.