G-pinions

I clearly have a slight predisposition to liking the occasional mass zombie slaying in my video game. However, Capcom seems obsessed with this whole concept. I firmly believe that the President of Capcom, who has presided over fifteen Resident Evil games and now Dead Rising, turned from alive to un-dead years ago. He is using his extraordinary power (who is more powerful than the head of Capcom?) to deliberately build up false confidence in taking down zombies, as well as misleading consumers into the correct ways to kill them. As if a baseball bat or giant novelty lipstick display could really kill a zombie. Laughable that is.

You know what else is laughable? The gameplay in Dead Rising. I know you guys just want to hear about the cool ways you can torture these hell-on-earth sub-humans, but the facts have to be laid out there. This game controls really poorly, so much so that, when coupled with the other annoying problems in this game, I am ready to say it isn't a particularly good game at all. Just like I tore through the Da Vince Code in a day and have watched my fair share of ElimiDate, the many hours I have spent running through that God forsaken mall during the past week may lead people to believe that I think this is a quality title. It's a fun game, but certainly not something that will be held as a high water mark of gaming. It's kind of like the gaming equivalent of Snakes on a Plane - I saw it opening night and couldn't imagine being anywhere in the world except that theater at that time. But the movie kind of sucked. Still, some people will end up loving it, buying the DVD, and holding annual SotP Parties where they dress like cobras and serve venom to their friends. Dead Rising is cool enough to build a cult following, but not good enough to have universal appeal and actual staying power.



So what's wrong with this game? Namely the most damning flaw a game built around killing zombies could have - killing zombies isn't particularly fun. When I wrote about Dead Rising last time, after playing the first few hours of story mode, I was complaining about the strict time constraints. It turns out, having some place to go at all times was the only thing holding this game together. During most of the game, I found myself running through the mall only stopping to kill when absolutely necessary. I only cared about getting to my next scheduled objective. There are sometimes massive gaps in the story where I didn't have anything to do but wait. So I would wander around the mall, dispassionately killing, while checking my watch every minute like I was watching Al Gore strip. Many tasks had me meeting a fellow survivor in the Security Room - a safe house where I couldn't even throw a punch, let alone swing a hedge trimmer - and I ended up arriving earlier and earlier as the game went on. I could just wait around there, not worrying about defending myself from zombies. I actually got some juice while I waited for the next mission.

This didn't bother me while going through the story of the game, since the tasks I had to complete were engrossing enough and I really wanted to see where the story went. But after I finished the game, and earned the ability to play through the main game without doing objectives, I found myself falling asleep while holding the controller. Attacking is so simplistic that it is really boring. All you do to fight zombies is hit the X button over and over again. 10 buttons on a controller and that's all they could come up with? Admittedly, they tried to make melee combat more complex, but that blew up in their face as well. The cool moves are ridiculously complicated to pull off. To disembowel you have to hit X and A while standing in front of a zombie and tilting towards them with the left stick. Think I messed that up a couple times? While it was really fun tearing through a group of zombies with a mini chainsaw for the first few hours, hitting X repeatedly does actually get boring after awhile.



Dead Rising still has really cool ideas, though. I love having a camera with me at all times. During those longs hours with nothing to do, I would run to the kid's store and put funny helmets on all my zombies. Some would get Servebot, some a teddy bear head, and the unlucky few would get a cold, metal bucket. It's funny enough seeing a throng of zombies walking around like that, but it's even more fun when you toss some cooking oil under them. Or shoot off their arms. Either way, that's a picture that's going to the front of my photo album. There was also the time I killed these annoying humans riding around outside in a jeep shooting people. What jerks, you know? So I took them out and then found I could rip their giant gatling gun off the back of the car. Nothing like mowing down zombies with a ridiculously powerful gun. I also liked being able to cook my frozen pizza and raw meat, though I would have liked some sort of side effect for not cooking the meat.

I have no doubt the first few hours most people spend with this title will be blissful. I beat the main game twice (I love leveling up characters in games) and then Overtime mode before I got bored of the game. Essentially, I played until this turn into a boring GTA clone with no story. However, because the control, combat and artificial intelligence of the humans you try to save are so damn horrible, the game becomes a chore after awhile. Whereas Resident Evil 4 will always be held up as a super great game, Dead Rising will slowly be forgotten by all but the hardest of hardcore, gameplay ignoring, zombie thrashers.