G-pinions

I've been following the Xbox 360 from a comfortable distance since it was released. It felt like a biological child who I lost in a divorce settlement. I would play around with the system once or twice a week, thoroughly enjoy myself, and then kind of forget about it when I left. I didn't really understand what made it so special, I just liked playing the newest games. But now, well now things are much different. I actually own an Xbox 360 now. Not only that, but because I live alone (essentially) and have no one to share it with, it's like a child that I won in a divorce lottery. It's all mine and I'm loving every demo-downloading, Reverse-playing, Titanic-deleting second of it.

Obviously, the first game I bought was Perfect Dark Zero. The game gets a lot of flack for its sometimes unforgiving brutality along with levels that are too expansive for their own good. Even with these valid critisms, I still really loved playing through co-op with Nick back when the system first came out. But I do understand the hate. Rare is an ancient developer from way back before even the NES was out. Though they have shown a certain prowess with the ever increasing technical specifications of consoles through the years, they have not followed other popular development trends. Namely, they just seem to get a bang out of creating games with old school difficulty. Perfect Dark Zero is a perfect example of this development theory.

It is neigh impossible to beat one of these levels on your first play through. You have to learn where enemies are placed. Like old school, 2D Nazi killing FPS, Rare just loves sticking enemies where you can't see them. You'll be cruising around on a lower level trying to find a computer terminal, thinking everything is safely in hand, and then you'll get shot. You'll swing widely around, hoping your reticule will turn red, but to no avail. Finally you'll find a guard stationed on what may appear in the design documents as a "balcony" but is clearly just a 10 pixel x 10 pixel hole in the wall three zoom levels on your sniper rifle above you. This blind enemy placement is probably one of the main things that turned people off who are more accustomed to the like of Halo and Half Life.

Furthermore, the objectives are so vague you'll spend a lot of time just trying to figure out what to do next. For instance, in the level I'm in now, one of my objectives is to steal someone's radio. I should be able to call off the guards who are attacking me if I do this correctly. Otherwise it is a real pain to get where I need to go. Here is where it gets difficult: the only guards who seem to carry radios are stationed high above me in guard towers. If I try to walk below the towers I will be seen and they will start firing at me. Unfortunately, if I kill the guards, there's no way up into the tower. Those bastards took the ladder with them. The only way I can get it down is to go under the tower and use an intercom to ask the guys above me to lower it. But since I can't even get under the tower without killing them, and dead men can't send a ladder down to help me, there is no way (as far as I can tell) to get the bloody radio.

See, all the hate for Perfect Dark Zero isn't unwarranted, but it's still a really fun game. It plays just like a next generation version of Goldeneye. I still consider the 1998 classic the second greatest FPS of all time. To say that I fully embrace having a spiritual successor in my possession right now is quite an understatement. It's a hard, unforgiving game, but it's still really frickin' fun.

I don't want to bog people down with too much Xbox 360 crap at one time so I'll just stop here. Tune in next time when I talk about Xbox Live Arcade. Is it the greatest thing ever? Or just cheap thrills between real games? Find out some time in the vague future and remember, we at G-Pinions deal only with hyperbole. If it's not the greatest thing ever or the end of humankind as we know it, than it's not worth talking about.