G-pinions

I just got done playing the first level in Robot Alchemic Drive, henceforth known simply as RAD since it's not only a handy acronym but conveniently sums up the experience. It may be hard to imagine this game so I'm going to compare it to a title even Dan will recognize: Fight Night. Picture EA's turd swallower. Now replace the boxers with 150 foot tall robots. Now swap out that unimaginative ring for a thriving metropolis and the ropes for destructible buildings. Oh, and you remember that little cricket that sits on your boxer's shoulder? Bam! Now he's a young girl. And that, my friends, is what RAD is all about.

Until today, I hadn't actually played this game since 2002, when I continually went back to its amazing kiosk at E3. You may remember that as the first E3 I ever attended. It was the year I got to control a super deformed Hiatchi in Pac Man Fever, coined the phrase "Tiny Phoenix" for Micro Machines, and even played FFXI for less than a second before some surly gent kicked me to the side. Ah, the magical memories. E3 2002 will always be seen as the Most Important Event Ever because it introduced to the world the two best "Giant Things Destroy Cities" games ever made: War of the Monsters and RAD. Can you believe that it's been four years and nothing has come close to those two games?

Anyway, RAD is even more ridiculous now that I've had the chance to sit down and actually play it in the comfort of my own home. Unlike other giant mech games, you are not privy to actually being inside the animatronic being. Instead, you play a tiny human (in this case, tiny means "normal sized") who has an ordinary remote control. Instead of controlling a lame Porsche, though, you get a giant robot at your disposal. Pretty sweet, eh? This is the main reason RAD is beyond insane. You have to manually switch controls between the human and the human controlling the robot in order to position your human in optimal viewing range. You can fly (for God knows what reason) to a nearby building, take a position in an open field far from the action, or even rest on your mech pal's shoulder. Believe me, this is hilarious. When you're on his shoulder the screen shakes with ever movement. You can fall off if you're positioned poorly or if your opponent hits the mech too hard. I thought it was a good idea to stand facing my mech from a slight distance, only to have the evil mech land on me after I thumped it with strong left hook. Fantastic.


That guy in the hat is crazy times ten

The best part is how silly it feels to move. Not only do the sticks move the corresponding arms, but the R/L buttons move the legs. So you have to alternate between them to walk around. So entertaining. Sure, it's a pain to accurately line up a shot and you constantly have to move your human around to get a good view, but it's so darn funny it's hard to complain. And the voice acting! Man, this is as good as voice acting gets. It's like an entire game with "Master of Unlocking" caliber writing and acting. So awesome.

I've only played one level so far but I know this will be in my permanent PS2 library. I mean, it's not like someone else is going to make a superior version of this, right? Is there anything else remotely like this? Anyway, it's dirt cheap now (I got it for less than $10) so if you have a PS2 there's no reason you shouldn't be playing this game right now. It even has a two player mode! What more can you want? A sequel? Yeah, that'd be pretty sweet. Too bad they're working on the best Xbox 360 game right now....