G-pinions

It's not like I haven't been playing Perfect Dark Zero, it's just a tough issue to bring up. I thought that the rollercoaster of apparent quality would end once the game came out, but my guts still churn with indecision when partaking in it. For every brilliantly cool feature there are three niggling archaic ones. For every hard-fought, skillful kill there are two completely cheap, unexpected deaths. And for every brick surface that looks like you could lean forward and touch it, there's a hallway texture that looks like a family of dead possums were used for wallpaper.

It also leaves a ton of the user's shoulders when playing online. Quickmatching is fine, but you'll likely find yourself playing the same deathmatch on the same map with the same uncommunicative pricks a dozen times over. If you go through the trouble of setting it up yourself, and know what you're doing, it's an entirely different game. Setting up a human vs. bots match with a couple of your buddies is great. Throw some jetpacks in and set it so it adds another bot whenever someone joins the human team, and you can play for hours. Speaking of bots, they're definitely the saving, steadily entertaining grace in an otherwise completely inconsistent experience. I've tried to explain to several people why I don't think Halo would work with bots - the choices are too varied, the combat is too dynamic, and the required movements too subtle - but in a fairly linear setup like PDZ, they work really well.

As I said, it's difficult wrapping your head around why PDZ isn't better than it should be, and at the same time why it remains to be compelling. Another thought I've been toying with is that Rare rely too heavily on their gameplay fundamentals, putting all of the weight of the experience on unstable ground. The controls and combat are far from perfect, so putting the burden on them just isn't fair. There are plenty of cool options like cover that works well in context, but the lazy level design expects you to create thrilling situations on your own. It's not fun whatsoever unless you make it fun, which is so atypical for a shooter such as this.

It's really frustrating talking about it. I do enjoy the game; under the right set of circumstances, it's great. It's just so tough so appreciate something with so many contradictions, something that almost seems to be trying to piss you off at times. I would like to commit a final judgement to myself, I really would, but I can quite easily see myself throwing up my arms and being done with it one day. I do know one thing - it won't last. As much as they don't deserve each other's comparison, this is not Halo. By any stretch. And there is no way in crap that I will be playing PDZ a year from now. I can't tell you specifically why, but as soon as I have a more specific theory I'll be sure to let you know...