Sunday, December 18, 2005
Gauntlet: So Many Sorrows...
Ouch. Remember when Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows was looking good, with the allure of four-player online co-op? Well, things didn't turn out so hot. In fact, it's quite easily the worst game I've played through in several years. Yes, Tom and I vanquished said sorrows in more or less one sitting today, topping it off in no more than 3.5 hours. We skipped all of the cutscenes, which I suppose could have had hours more content within, but after watching the first one I think any rational biped would do likewise.
It's not that it's completely awful, it's just too similar and entirely inferior to Midway's last co-op action game, Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks. In fact, considering SS looks and plays like a teddy bear found in the garbage, they would have been a lot better off just using the Shaolin Monks engine. And gameplay. It's quite impressive just how bad the game looks actually. Dark Legacy was excusable for it's arcade port status, but this is just embarrassing. The art is decent to good for the most part, but with such low poly models and muddy textures, you want to vomit once everyone starts moving. Consider Spartan: Total Warrior had loads more characters on screen, all looking great, this is just inexcusable.
IGN calls the game "button mashing refined", which I don't quite understand. If it's refined, it becomes something else entirely; regardless this doesn't have much more variety than the original. They also state that "hard-core fans of the original will not be disappointed", which I protest on the grounds that there aren't any hardcore fans of the original. Sure, I've played half a dozen games on my 360 with some pals, but that's because co-op is inherently fun (which is why we finished the game), not because the gameplay was particularly compelling in any decade.
To be fair, I can't put my finger on why the Norrath games are so much better, but they are. Maybe it's because there's the constant promise of new items and upgrades (compared to Gauntlet's three-choice character development tree, and completely redundant move list). Maybe it's because there are challenging enemies (as opposed to Gauntlet's "death", who dies at the touch of a button within half a second of appearing every time). Or maybe it's because Norrath's randomly generated levels are infinitely more moody and interesting than Gauntlet's backtracking, switch-flipping borathons.
In the end, I can't fault a game for trying to emulate classic gameplay, but Gauntlet's fault is that it had none. It was mindless fun with your buddies, and there are far too many glaring imprecisions for that to be viable in a broken 3D environment. Buy Shaolin Monks, track down Dark Legacy, but please, avoid this three hour grinding bowel movement.
It's not that it's completely awful, it's just too similar and entirely inferior to Midway's last co-op action game, Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks. In fact, considering SS looks and plays like a teddy bear found in the garbage, they would have been a lot better off just using the Shaolin Monks engine. And gameplay. It's quite impressive just how bad the game looks actually. Dark Legacy was excusable for it's arcade port status, but this is just embarrassing. The art is decent to good for the most part, but with such low poly models and muddy textures, you want to vomit once everyone starts moving. Consider Spartan: Total Warrior had loads more characters on screen, all looking great, this is just inexcusable.
IGN calls the game "button mashing refined", which I don't quite understand. If it's refined, it becomes something else entirely; regardless this doesn't have much more variety than the original. They also state that "hard-core fans of the original will not be disappointed", which I protest on the grounds that there aren't any hardcore fans of the original. Sure, I've played half a dozen games on my 360 with some pals, but that's because co-op is inherently fun (which is why we finished the game), not because the gameplay was particularly compelling in any decade.
To be fair, I can't put my finger on why the Norrath games are so much better, but they are. Maybe it's because there's the constant promise of new items and upgrades (compared to Gauntlet's three-choice character development tree, and completely redundant move list). Maybe it's because there are challenging enemies (as opposed to Gauntlet's "death", who dies at the touch of a button within half a second of appearing every time). Or maybe it's because Norrath's randomly generated levels are infinitely more moody and interesting than Gauntlet's backtracking, switch-flipping borathons.
In the end, I can't fault a game for trying to emulate classic gameplay, but Gauntlet's fault is that it had none. It was mindless fun with your buddies, and there are far too many glaring imprecisions for that to be viable in a broken 3D environment. Buy Shaolin Monks, track down Dark Legacy, but please, avoid this three hour grinding bowel movement.
// posted by Nick @ 8:51 PM 
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]