G-pinions

Now I know what it must be like to own a PSP.

Blitz: The League has the worst load time of any game I have played in years. This is not a good thing. In fact, like Nick and his obsession with art design, load times are a thing that can single-handedly ruin a game for me. I'm not a particularly busy man, but I am impatient. When I have enough time to get up, hunt around my living room for the remote, sit back down and then flip through the channels a few times, all while the game is still checking the memory card and hasn't even begun to save, you know there is a pretty big issue. When I first started playing, which begins by creating a profile, I actually reset my PS2 mid-load because I just assumed it had frozen. Seriously guys, if you're going to release a football game six weeks into the season, at least optimize the load times so I can actually get on the football field.

Anyway, I suppose you're wondering if this is the Madden killer the world desperately needs. Unfortunately, it isn't even close. Heck, this isn't even as fun as Tecmo Bowl, and that game is as balanced as our new look Supreme Court. For some reason, I assumed Blitz would eschew the shallow, archaic formula it has been pushing for years in an attempt to truly compete with Madden. I have no idea why I assumed this, but seeing the game start up with only 8 players on the field caused me to whimper. Wouldn't it have been more fun to create a game that looked and played like the NFL, but with all the dirty things the league doesn't want you to know about? Blitz: The League plays just like previous Blitz games.



In fact, all that talk about how they were going to "take it to the NFL" with this brash sporting experience was just that - talk. Yes, you can "Juice" your players to make them stronger and cussing is prevalent, but nothing is actually shocking in this game. If they aren't worried about stepping on the NFL's toes anymore, why even call it "Juice?" Why not just call it "Steroids?" Seems like they decided to create an anything goes experience, but chickened out at the last minute. Aside from an X-Ray effect when injuries occur and the previously mentioned "Juice" there isn't anything in this game that Madden doesn't already do. It feels like some marketing guy tried to make an "Xtreme" title but forgot that we don't live in 1892.

If you want an idea of the in-your-face stuff Blitz throws at you, check out this dig: after a turnover the defensive player walks to the bench and says "Oh look, you had the ball and now we do. Ha!" Or how about the always hilarious offensive coordinator? "Where did I put my play sheet... hey, look at that hot girl!" These are some of the most PG lines I have ever heard. Did the developers really think a few cuss words thrown into fifth grade taunts would make gamers switch from Madden? Why not really go all out and make this game as filthy and offensive as possible? Even the fights are clean. Instead of ripping off a guy's helmet and smashing his face in with it, two teams merely lunge half-heartedly at each other for ten seconds. Weee....



The actual gameplay is just as bland as the M-rated material. This is the same Blitz we've been playing for years. In fact, this is actually slower than Blitz '00 on the Dreamcast. While the Bullet Time feature they added is fun, it makes the game quite cheap. I scored back to back 80+ yard touchdowns earlier today, in just my fifth game, simply by juking one or two players and running away from everyone else.

It's not a bad game, it just feels uninspired. Blitz has always been good for picking up and playing for a few minutes and, load times aside, B:TL is no different. However, I can't see people devoting 40 hours per week playing this like I did with NFL2K5. There just isn't that much to it. Hopefully, as I play more I'll find out the game isn't as tired as it seems, but I have my doubts. I just hope next year someone has the guts to actually go against EA for real.