G-pinions

This is the most excited I have been about video gaming in quite some time. With a new system coming out in just a couple months and a plethora of great games recently released, it's hard not to giggle with joy at the limitless potential of this amazing industry. What has made my gaming grin grow ever wide, though, has been the divine intervention of stylus supplanting the directional pad I have been faithful to all these years. I'm nearing the end of Kirby Canvas Curse and, while I won't give it the space it deserves today, I will say it's the most fun I've had in a platformer since Super Mario World. I've recently bid adieu to my favorite mushy ball to tackle Meteos and, suffice it to say, Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo is in serious jeopardy of being dethroned from the top spot.

While the unknown is what caused me to post today, I have a bit of news I must share before this column becomes completely ridiculous. I just found out, not more than five minutes prior to whenever you are reading this, that Nintendo of America is bringing Final Fantasy IV to America this December on the Game Boy Advance. Along with Final Fanasy III (which is still coming to the DS as far as I know), FFV, FFVI and Chrono Trigger, FFIV is one of the top five games I desperately want to be ported to my aging, yet still adorable, little handheld. I know Nick owns the original on the SNES, but there is just something so simple and pure about leveling up while waiting for a light to turn green. I plead with Nintendo to port the first six Final Fantasy titles to their portable hardware. There is not a better place in the world to play old school RPGs than where ever I happen to be bored.

Moving away from concrete news to pure speculation, at 9pm Central Time tomorrow Nintendo is expected to announce exactly what makes the Revolution so gosh darn interesting. The two most popular guesses as to what will separate Nintendo from the competition seem quite lame to me. Most people assume that, since the NDS is so popular (and fun), Nintendo will slap a touch screen on their next controller. While good in theory, Nintendo has already said the touch screen will not be a part of the Revolution. Clearly, many interesting things can be done with styli controls, but losing the tactile feel of buttons while eating the cost of what would surely be a pricey peripheral does not seem like the best idea.

The other popular theory, gyroscopic controls, seems even more insane. Sure, watching your character respond to physical movement of your controller would be interesting, but what new types of gameplay are even possible with such a device? I don't anticipate MS or Sony would fear tilting controllers when they have all the third parties and much more powerful systems on their side. While gyroscopic controls could potentially add some new gameplay twists to stale genres, I don't see it as a revolution on its own.


Let's hope the real controller doesn't have a ball gag

So what else is there? We know the system isn't a virtual reality machine because we are sensible people who know such technology is not only ridiculous but not even fun. I also can't imagine it is something as simple as the analog stick that made the N64 home to the best 3D games of its time. Nintendo has said whatever it is they are including cannot be duplicated by competition. Sony proved they are not above stealing a great idea only a short while after the N64 came to market. That means whatever the revolution is creates such a paramount shift in gaming it would be extremely difficult for Sony or MS to implement without severely dividing their user base.

I may have backed myself in a hole. As I sit here staring at the screen I cannot come up with one idea about what the Revolution actually could be. I can't think of one thing that would affect how games are played that actually adds to the experience. Furthermore, Nintendo said this is not new technology. Rather, whatever it is they are planning is only new in the video game industry. If anyone else can think of existing technology that is not used in gaming but would greatly enhance the experience please comment. Either that or apply for a job at MS or Sony because, clearly, they could learn a thing or two about innovation.

My number one concern is that Nintendo is planning something that will alienate actual game players. Time and time again they have stressed that the Revolution will attempt to draw in both casual and non-gamers. While the idea of a system that appeals to every person on Earth is obviously an admirable goal, I don't see how Nintendo can simplify gaming enough to entice grandma while still making Zelda a relevant franchise. If Nintendo makes me wear some lame hat or a vibrating belt while I play I am not going to be pleased.