G-pinions

I am at the point where I just wish Electronics Arts would buy Ubi Soft, in full, and put them out of their misery. I can't believe that just two years ago they were an up-and-coming developer who couldn't do anything wrong. Now they are content merely churning out cash-in sequels to their money franchises while trying desperately to destroy Prince of Persia for the fans out there who have actually enjoyed the franchise for the past decade.

Check out the list of games Ubi Soft is going to show at E3 this year.

"And 1 Streetball [PlayStation 2]
Far Cry Instincts [Xbox]
Heroes of Might & Magic V [PC]
187 Ride or Die [PlayStation 2, Xbox]
Peter Jackson's King Kong [PlayStation 2, Xbox, next-generation console]
Prince of Persia 3 [PlayStation 2, Xbox]
Blazing Angels: Squadrons of WWII (working title) [Xbox]
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon 3 (working title) [next-generation console]
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Lockdown [PlayStation 2, Xbox]
America's Army: Rise of a Soldier [PlayStation 2, Xbox]

Two additional Ubisoft titles will be shown behind closed doors:

Brothers in Arms Road to Hill 30: New Chapter (working title) [PC, Xbox]
Myst V: End of Ages [PC]"

I know you can figure out what types of games these are by the titles, but I'm going to give my take on them anyway. This is probably the most disappointing display of games a major developer has ever had to show at E3. We'll start things up with And 1 Streetball. I know I love competition and all that, but is there really a need for another hip hip style arcade basketball title? I'm pretty sure the potential for the genre was reached with the second NBA Jam. I guess Ubi Soft has tapped their creative potential in just two short years. This is clearly developmental resources that could have gone towards a worthwhile product but it's so much easier to make an uninspired basketball title and hope mindless casual gamers will buy it when NBA Street Volume 4 is sold out.

Far Cry Instinct has no reason to exist. The PC title, which is actually pretty darn fun, came out more than a year ago. It wasn't really the most innovated game but it did look gorgeous. Plus, you got to play on an island instead of the depths of hell, which is a welcome change of pace. I just have no idea why Ubi Soft thinks this would be a worthwhile release now. The first Far Cry came out before the world had ever played Halo 2 or Half-Life 2. It was a really good game because there simply wasn't any competition at the time. No one is going to buy a port of an old PC title when it's not nearly as good as Halo 2. Good luck trying to find a market for this one, Ubi. You probably would have been better off making a new title of some sort.

I have no idea why a new Heroes of Might and Magic is coming out. Do people still play hack 'n slash D&D style games? I can't imagine someone is looking over this list of games, seeing a fifth HMM title, and screaming with joy. If you're not interested because this game is a new chapter in a thankfully dead genre, let me quote the Ubi Soft press release so you can know why you should be excited. Let me just scrounge it up for you... Heroes of Might and Magic takes place in a "more mature fantasy universe." I think we all know what that means: metal thong!

187 Ride or Die just makes me sick. As far as I can tell, this is a street racing game "borrowing" many of the bawdy elements that makes Grand Theft Auto so popular. No surprise that Ubi Soft is stealing an idea another company made popular and trying to sell their own game based on it. Well done, Ubi Soft. I'm sure everyone appreciates the steps you're taking to push this industry ever farther. I can't imagine how bleak my future would be if a badass street racing game wasn't coming out.

Prince of Persia 3, as the scan I posted indicates, will be the worst game ever made. Doesn't it seem so long ago that Sands of Time came out? If you're wondering, it was less than two years ago, in late 2003, when what will forever be known as "The last good Prince of Persia title" was released. They are trying so hard to appeal to the casual gamer they forgot what makes the game so fun to begin with. Why is the game so dark now? Why are there stealth elements? The first game was great because it had top notch platforming and tons of whimsy. They have literally killed everything I loved about the franchise in the lifespan of a kitten.

Blazing Angels is a bloody World War II game. Hey, I have an idea: let's take the bleakest moment in the history of human kind and make a video game about it. That will be fun, right? People love remembering the horrible depths the human mind can turn down, right? And there aren't plenty of other WWII games either. This is an untapped market!

There are two new Tom Clancy games coming out. Do people still buy these? Is there any difference between Tom Clancy Espionage Game X and 2X? I can't imagine they offer anything as substantial as a roster update, a reason many people buy Madden every year, and yet people are outraged over the $50 price point for one and are willing to sink $50 into the other? Hypocrisy anyone?

I don't actually know anything about America's Army other than it being another freaking war game. I guess people love war, right?

There is also another Brothers in Arms and another Myst coming out, but Ubi Soft wants to keep their been-there-done-that gameplay under wraps so only the privileged media can see them. Is this a joke? Didn't Brothers in Arms just come out this year? And is there really a need for a fifth Myst title? Is there really a person out there who has played through all 4 previous games? Wouldn't they be completely insane at this point anyway?

The one game I'm actually looking forward to, however slightly, is King Kong. I know that it is a licensed game and therefore has a 95% chance of being completely unplayable. But it is being headed up by the man responsible for Beyond Good and Evil. I can't imagine he will be allowed to make a great title, but if he can somehow avoid the crushing stink of suck emanating from that office, this should be a title worth playing. I'll cross my fingers but keep my expectations low.

Also, if you'll peruse that list carefully you'll see not one title is being show for a Nintendo console. Obviously, the Gamecube has fallen into a very bad place in the industry right now, but there is simply no reason they can't port PS2 titles to the GC. IGN has reported that some of the aforementioned titles will eventually make an appearance on the GC, but Ubi just has no interest in wasting space at their booth demonstrating such a product.

I hope, more than anything, that Ubi Soft never touches the Beyond Good and Evil franchise again. They clearly have no idea how to make a game that doesn't involve lots of violence. They clearly don't understand there are gamers out there who actually enjoy a thoughtful gaming experience and would love to solve problems in a way that doesn't involve a gun. Ubi Soft has become a one trick pony, churning out war sims and espionage snore fests. They are far too large to make such a limited spread of games. I honestly don't care if Ubi Soft dies as this point, but here is just word of advice if they want to stay relevant - diversify.