Friday, February 25, 2005
Twelve Tales: Live and Reloaded
Man, how come only the lame journalists are invited to play games early? If Microsoft really wanted to hype up the new Conker game, they should have flown me out to Redmond to play it first hand. Seriously, can you even imagine my reaction if Microsoft did this? I'm one of the few Rare fans left in the world, and though I don't think the first Conker was especially significant other than offering massive amounts of entertainment, I would love to get my hands on the new one a few months before everyone else. Of course, the world is a cold, dark place where fairness is balled up in a hole somewhere; so the lame folks at Gamespy took my place in Redmond. Seriously Microsoft, a few more people may visit Gamespy, but they don't know a damn thing about Conker. Anyway, even though their preview totally sucked, a few nuggets did somehow slip through the cracks. So without further ado, my first mini preview about a game that may actually get me to play online again.
Before I start talking about the content, check out this ridiculously lame quote: "Of course, I'm talking about Conker, the hero of the Nintendo 64 smash Conker's Bad Fur Day, the game that finally helped Nintendo shed its kid friendly image." Are you kidding? So, is the Gamecube not a kid friendly system any more because Rare made Conker on the N64 in 2001? It seemed like they were trying to say something like "Nintendo is a kiddie system" but instead said "Kid friendly" which is completely different. Nintendo will always be synonymous with kids. Parents know about Mario and Zelda. They know they aren't horribly violent games, and are going to be more likely to buy a Nintendo system for their kid than something with Grand Theft Auto on it. Nintendo will always be the "kiddie" system, and I don't think Nintendo ever wants that to change. Man, I hate irresponsible journalizing. Conker was a good game, yes, but it hardly paved the way for any new trends and certainly didn't shed an image Nintendo had been building for years.
End rant.
Oh, and thanks to Gamespy for providing the two multiplayer pics you see below. We would provide our own but, well, Microsoft didn't fly me out to play Conker, now did they?
Most of the column was composed of generic comments like that, but there were a few bits of information sprinkled amongst the crap. First, the different character classes were finally revealed. I knew they existed for quite some time, but, since no one is allowed to actually play pre-release Rare games, no one was able to mention what the classes actually were. Well, hold on to your hats because these are pretty typical fair. Demolishers are perfect for someone with little skill and a love of big explosions. They slowly lug a giant Bazooka around the map. You know, even though it would be ultra cheap, it would be funny to have a character who was super fast and had a bazooka. I guess every game needs balance, but where's the humor?
Next they have the aptly named "Long Rangers." Apparently the guy who comes up with interesting names was on break or something. The Long Rangers are either porn stars or snipers. I think they're snipers. And that's all I can say about them. I remember that sniping in Bad Fur Day was one of my favorite things to do. The actual mechanism of aiming and firing wasn't any better than other games, but you could actually make your enemy's heads explode with a perfectly fired shot. I know I sound like some stupid teenager, but that was pretty funny. When you shot the head off a Tediz (a teddy bear...) you could see the stuffing fly right out. Good times.
The next class, the grunts, will only take a sentence to describe. They are the "I can't make up my mind" class, jack of all trades, master of none. They are a complete disgrace to the game. Sure, they are needed in there, every game needs a middle ground character, but who wants an "I'm OK, You're OK" character when you can choose a slow guy with a bazooka? You won't catch me anywhere near these indecisive bastards, unless I'm chopping off their head with a...
Sneaker! Once again, ultra lame name, but will probably be my favorite character. Even with a gattling gun to man and a plethora of awesome guns available, I always went for the sword in Bad Fur Day. I know what you're thinking so stop right there. The sword in Halo 2 is ultra cheap. In Conker, it's just really fun. You make this little "hutty hutty hutty" sound when you run and can do flip jumps and stuff. Man is that great. There isn't any lame lock on or anything, or a super lunge to make it long range. You have to get right next to someone to cut their head off. But it is oh so rewarding. Jumping over bullets and rocket blasts until you are right next to your friend, he yells "Crap!" just before you chop his head off. Fantastic.
The last class, according to this preview at least, is a Thermophile. They use a flamethrower. I don't have much to say about them. The flamethrower in Bad Fur Day was awesome... except once you lit someone on fire they could run into you and make you burn as well. Just like Romeo and Juliet. There wasn't any way to put out the fire, either. It was a one hit kill, though it took awhile for you to finally burn away. Hopefully there will be water or something in the new one to avoid this. Not my favorite weapon, but still better than that lame Grunt.
Just a quick note about the classes - while only one gun was actually mentioned (yay Gamespy!) every character can use different guns. For instance, the Sneaker can use a daggar and a sabre. The Demolisher also has huge guns to compliment his bazooka. I have no idea what else the Thermophile will be able to use. Maybe an acid shooter? Or some kind of chemical burn weapon? Who knows? Also, the vehicles you can drive are dependant on who you are. This game sounds so fricking good. I can't wait anymore.
Rare mentioned something about a Medic a while ago, but I'm not sure if that actually made the cut. I'd bet there are more than 5 classes though, probably 8-10 if I had to guess, but that's just pure speculation. It's nice to see games like Unreal Championship 2 and Conker coming out with some real variety in characters. I think the days of one size fits all multiplayer are coming to an end.
The only other thing that was revealed in the preview was the inclusion of more modes than just CTF and Deathmatch. Duh. Obviously. Though Gamespy says "It seems that much of the multiplayer content is similar to that found in the original game" the only modes that seem to have made the transition are standard CTF and Deathmatch. The multiplayer in Bad Fur Day was great because of the sheer variety. There were the standard CTF and Kill Everyone That Moves modes, but there was some really original, fun stuff as well. In one mode, two people would be Raptors and the other two would be Cavemen. This was an objective based game different than simply "kill or be killed." The Cavemen had to sneak into the Raptor nest and steal their eggs, then race back to their camp, which doubled as a frying pan, and toss the sucker in. The Raptors had to catch the Cavemen, alive, and bring them back to the nest for their babies to feed on. Super fun.
Anther great mode featured a small army vs. French refugees. As the Army, you would stay in your base and fire bazookas, a gattling gun or a sniper rifle at the approaching refugees. The Refugees didn't actually have any guns. They simply needed to avoid being killed and make it safely past their enemies. If they ran across a bridge and to an open field, they could push a button that would kill the army for a few seconds. Pure entertainment.
As much as I loved CTF and Deathmatch in the first, I spent most of my time playing the creative modes. I hope Rare keeps those, but I fear they won't. The only non-CTF/Deathmatch mode I know about is the classic "Storm the beach" scenario. One side, well, storms the beach, and the other tries to mow them down. Fun? Probably, but not really that original. They better have some different game types, bots, and a kick ass offline mode.
Anyway, I'm pumped for this game now. Everyone needs to buy it so I can play you guys online.
Before I start talking about the content, check out this ridiculously lame quote: "Of course, I'm talking about Conker, the hero of the Nintendo 64 smash Conker's Bad Fur Day, the game that finally helped Nintendo shed its kid friendly image." Are you kidding? So, is the Gamecube not a kid friendly system any more because Rare made Conker on the N64 in 2001? It seemed like they were trying to say something like "Nintendo is a kiddie system" but instead said "Kid friendly" which is completely different. Nintendo will always be synonymous with kids. Parents know about Mario and Zelda. They know they aren't horribly violent games, and are going to be more likely to buy a Nintendo system for their kid than something with Grand Theft Auto on it. Nintendo will always be the "kiddie" system, and I don't think Nintendo ever wants that to change. Man, I hate irresponsible journalizing. Conker was a good game, yes, but it hardly paved the way for any new trends and certainly didn't shed an image Nintendo had been building for years.
End rant.
Oh, and thanks to Gamespy for providing the two multiplayer pics you see below. We would provide our own but, well, Microsoft didn't fly me out to play Conker, now did they?
Most of the column was composed of generic comments like that, but there were a few bits of information sprinkled amongst the crap. First, the different character classes were finally revealed. I knew they existed for quite some time, but, since no one is allowed to actually play pre-release Rare games, no one was able to mention what the classes actually were. Well, hold on to your hats because these are pretty typical fair. Demolishers are perfect for someone with little skill and a love of big explosions. They slowly lug a giant Bazooka around the map. You know, even though it would be ultra cheap, it would be funny to have a character who was super fast and had a bazooka. I guess every game needs balance, but where's the humor?
Next they have the aptly named "Long Rangers." Apparently the guy who comes up with interesting names was on break or something. The Long Rangers are either porn stars or snipers. I think they're snipers. And that's all I can say about them. I remember that sniping in Bad Fur Day was one of my favorite things to do. The actual mechanism of aiming and firing wasn't any better than other games, but you could actually make your enemy's heads explode with a perfectly fired shot. I know I sound like some stupid teenager, but that was pretty funny. When you shot the head off a Tediz (a teddy bear...) you could see the stuffing fly right out. Good times.
The next class, the grunts, will only take a sentence to describe. They are the "I can't make up my mind" class, jack of all trades, master of none. They are a complete disgrace to the game. Sure, they are needed in there, every game needs a middle ground character, but who wants an "I'm OK, You're OK" character when you can choose a slow guy with a bazooka? You won't catch me anywhere near these indecisive bastards, unless I'm chopping off their head with a...
Sneaker! Once again, ultra lame name, but will probably be my favorite character. Even with a gattling gun to man and a plethora of awesome guns available, I always went for the sword in Bad Fur Day. I know what you're thinking so stop right there. The sword in Halo 2 is ultra cheap. In Conker, it's just really fun. You make this little "hutty hutty hutty" sound when you run and can do flip jumps and stuff. Man is that great. There isn't any lame lock on or anything, or a super lunge to make it long range. You have to get right next to someone to cut their head off. But it is oh so rewarding. Jumping over bullets and rocket blasts until you are right next to your friend, he yells "Crap!" just before you chop his head off. Fantastic.
The last class, according to this preview at least, is a Thermophile. They use a flamethrower. I don't have much to say about them. The flamethrower in Bad Fur Day was awesome... except once you lit someone on fire they could run into you and make you burn as well. Just like Romeo and Juliet. There wasn't any way to put out the fire, either. It was a one hit kill, though it took awhile for you to finally burn away. Hopefully there will be water or something in the new one to avoid this. Not my favorite weapon, but still better than that lame Grunt.
Just a quick note about the classes - while only one gun was actually mentioned (yay Gamespy!) every character can use different guns. For instance, the Sneaker can use a daggar and a sabre. The Demolisher also has huge guns to compliment his bazooka. I have no idea what else the Thermophile will be able to use. Maybe an acid shooter? Or some kind of chemical burn weapon? Who knows? Also, the vehicles you can drive are dependant on who you are. This game sounds so fricking good. I can't wait anymore.
Rare mentioned something about a Medic a while ago, but I'm not sure if that actually made the cut. I'd bet there are more than 5 classes though, probably 8-10 if I had to guess, but that's just pure speculation. It's nice to see games like Unreal Championship 2 and Conker coming out with some real variety in characters. I think the days of one size fits all multiplayer are coming to an end.
The only other thing that was revealed in the preview was the inclusion of more modes than just CTF and Deathmatch. Duh. Obviously. Though Gamespy says "It seems that much of the multiplayer content is similar to that found in the original game" the only modes that seem to have made the transition are standard CTF and Deathmatch. The multiplayer in Bad Fur Day was great because of the sheer variety. There were the standard CTF and Kill Everyone That Moves modes, but there was some really original, fun stuff as well. In one mode, two people would be Raptors and the other two would be Cavemen. This was an objective based game different than simply "kill or be killed." The Cavemen had to sneak into the Raptor nest and steal their eggs, then race back to their camp, which doubled as a frying pan, and toss the sucker in. The Raptors had to catch the Cavemen, alive, and bring them back to the nest for their babies to feed on. Super fun.
Anther great mode featured a small army vs. French refugees. As the Army, you would stay in your base and fire bazookas, a gattling gun or a sniper rifle at the approaching refugees. The Refugees didn't actually have any guns. They simply needed to avoid being killed and make it safely past their enemies. If they ran across a bridge and to an open field, they could push a button that would kill the army for a few seconds. Pure entertainment.
As much as I loved CTF and Deathmatch in the first, I spent most of my time playing the creative modes. I hope Rare keeps those, but I fear they won't. The only non-CTF/Deathmatch mode I know about is the classic "Storm the beach" scenario. One side, well, storms the beach, and the other tries to mow them down. Fun? Probably, but not really that original. They better have some different game types, bots, and a kick ass offline mode.
Anyway, I'm pumped for this game now. Everyone needs to buy it so I can play you guys online.
// posted by Tom @ 8:04 AM 
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