G-pinions

I'm not a huge sports fan. I'm incredibly competitive by nature, but that usually comes out through videogames, arguments, and real sports like ping-pong, frisbee, bocce ball and Scrabble. As for pussy sports like football, futbol, rugby and wrestling, they can all go to homoerotic hell. Basketball, well, it's somewhere in between. It has the grace of a ballet, the strategy of a terrorist attack, and the pace of a blind sword duel. It's great. So, when I said that I would buy ESPN NBA 2K5, and then didn't, a bag full of baby turtles was run over by a tank somewhere. I'm here to apologize.

I rented said hoops game yesterday with my near-infinite Blockbuster credit and a coupon, intending to fill a slow Sunday evening it between KOTOR sessions. I will now be purchasing the game from another establishment where I have similarly infinite credit. Because it kicks ass. I haven't played more than a couple of rounds of any sports game outside of NBA Jam TE (the only NBA Jam, as far as I'm concerned) in a good three years. I had Sega NBA 2K2 and Live '97 before that, but neither ever monopolized my game time. So yeah, I'm a bit out of the loop as far as exactly how far things have come. The genre has led the industry's technology for a while now, and after playing 2K5 it's more apparent to me than ever. People say Live is better this year, but I can't really imagine how digital basketball can get much better. The movement feels a bit floaty, and the graphics still clip more than I'd like them too, but otherwise everything is damn amazing. Damn damn amazing. The A.I. is basically flawless as far as I can tell, being where I need it to be and doing the right thing 99-goddamn-% of the time. Most of the animations are photorealistically smooth, and the players models really actually look like the players they're meant to be - for the first time that I've ever seen. Everything I can think of is as good as I could ask for.

The ebb and flow of the game is great too; I've already played a buzzer beater, I've come back to win a couple games, and I've had someone come back on me. Whether it's against the computer, against a pal, or online, the game is well-paced, challenging, and intimidatingly real. And maybe this has been the standard for a couple of years now, but there as so many little touches I've never seen before - your player turning around properly to face the ball carrier as he runs downcourt, the fully polygonal fans giving you a literal standing ovation, end of game video highlights, the impossibly timely and intelligent announcing; I'm sure fans of other sports have enjoyed such majesty in their own games, but this is really a first for me. Man, and the online play is top of the line. I played one game that was a bit laggy throughout, but all of the other games were completely lag-free. That, and every game mode is playable online, including the 24/7 mode which is apparently awesome (I have yet to explore it).

So yeah, it's a big, beautiful, busty behemoth of a game. And I love it, and it shall soon be mine. I'm starting to see how Tom invested 80 hours in two months in ESPN NFL 2K5. And this stuff is $20 a pop? Good god, what a wonderful, fascinating age we live in. Lay me up.