G-pinions

I'm not in the mood for controversy tonight, but I assume you, it's coming. Anyhow.

With my newfound X-Boxness, and the hunting down and obtaining of Gun Valkyrie and Otogi, I'm finally able to play two games I've had my eye on for a while. One is very, very good. One has a few problems that make it almost unplayable.

They're both published by Sega, both exclusive to X-Box, and on the surface, pretty similar games. Gun Valkyrie is about exploring beautiful alien landscapes, taking out hordes of enemies with several types of guns, ad nauseum. Otogi is about exploring gorgeous Japanese temples, taking out hordes of enemies with several types of swords, ad nauseum. I've played a couple levels of both, and very quickly come to some conclusions. Otogi rocks, so very, very hard, and Gun Valkyrie shall be condemned to hell for it's flaws.

Let me start by telling you why Otogi rocks so. First, it is possibly the best-looking game I have ever played. It's Ninja Gaiden with the soft specular lighting and shading of Prince of Persia. The color palette is as varied as the environments, and the art design is spectacular. The levels are destructible, and every piece of wall you slice through with your singing blade stays crumbled, even after returning to the same level later. Even the menus burst with softness and elegance. This is one classy game. Secondly, the gameplay is simple, fast, and hella fun. You're dropped into each level to "purify" it, which usually consists of destroying every creature/evil mirror/etc. within. You can run, jump and slash with the utmost smoothness, and teleport and cast spells with ease. You can hang in the air and juggle a beast until it dies, or stay low and bring down a nearby wall on top of it. And even though the bulk of the levels involve near-constant creature destruction in various acrobatic pursuits, it feels as natural and responsive as throwing a frisbee. They're the first X-Box controls I've felt completely comfortable with, and that's saying something. Apparently the left trigger locks on to enemies, but I haven't even touched it yet. This is how games should be made. This is art. This is entertainment. And I didn't even mention the dozens of badass weapons and spells you can buy.

So how can Gun Valkyrie be that different? Easy. Mainly, in the control department (the other problems all spiral out from there, such are weird environmental glitches when trying to scale some areas). I don't know who decided to make this game play the way it does, but it makes me want to throw myself off of a clock tower into a cage of starving badgers. The left analog stick moves you around. The right analog stick moves the camera and your aim...about fourty-five degrees to either side of you. And then it stops, for no good reason. Oh, and you can't really do any complex actions, like, say, looking one way while running another. At least I haven't figured out a useable way to. Several guns even root you to the ground while being used, which isn't too fun when you're being swarmed by enemies and can't dodge and shoot at the same time. Or even jump up. This game also has a fair share of midair battling, and forced platforming, all done through the sickeningly ineffective method of pushing in the left analog stick and then flicking it in the direction you want to boost. After doing this roughly two times, I was ready to smash my controller with a tire iron. I read later that the right analog stick has a similar 'pressing-in' function for quick turns, which makes me even sadder. It's just such a shame. The game looks great, has some cool weapons, two very different playable characters, and a somewhat novel premise. But when it's such an uncontrollable pig-beast to play, it's just not any fun. I plan to give it another shot some time in the future, but I can't imagine I'll ever be able to get past such broken movement/combat mechanics. The game is considered by many to be a huge challenge, but it's certainly not one in the way I was expecting it to be. Anyone who can deal with this shit long enough it beat it deserves a fucking purple heart.

Go play Otogi, and buy Otogi 2 later this year. If you like fun, that is.